The Magic of Christmas
by JoyfulHeartEO
Summary: Kathy left Elliot when the kids were young, Elliot is struggling to give the kids a good Christmas and Olivia is there to help. Maureen notices the spark between her father and Olivia and decides all she wants for Christmas, is for them to be together.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all :)**

**Just getting in the spirit of the Holidays, this is a little story I came up with. It's complete fiction so I changed the way the show did things. In this, Kathy left when the kids were young. Olivia and Elliot are still working together and they have feelings for each other but won't admit it. It's two years after Kathy left and Elliot is struggling to find a way to give his kids a good Christmas and of course Olivia is there to help him.**

**Maureen notices the connection between her father and Olivia and decides to find a way to get them together before Christmas. But will it work?**

**Just so you know, for the purpose of this story Maureen is 13, Kathleen is 10 and Lizzie and Dickie are 6.  
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><p>Christmas had always been his favorite time of the year. As a kid he had lamented over what to ask Santa for every year. He usually started his first draft of his letter to Santa the day after Halloween and each year it got long and longer. Of course when he was old enough to know that Santa wasn't real, it didn't make him love Christmas any less.<p>

Now that he was a father, he loved seeing the joy on his kid's faces on Christmas morning when they saw their gifts under the tree. But the last two years had been different…Kathy had left and he was left with the kids alone. He hadn't heard from his ex-wife since the day she left the house saying she couldn't take living with him anymore.

He devoted his life to taking care of his kids, but this year money was tight. It was December 1st and he still had no idea what he was going to buy any of them for Christmas. He sighed, staring at the picture of his four children on his desk and worried that once again they were going to have a disappointing Christmas.

He was so lost in thought, he didn't hear his partner walk up beside him and place a cup of coffee beside him. "El?"

He finally snapped out of his daze and looked over at her. "Oh. Hey Liv…thanks for the coffee."

Olivia stared at him for a moment. "You okay? You looked like you were thinking about something pretty hard…"

Elliot smiled. "Yeah. I'm fine…"

She walked around to her desk and sat down before looking back over at him. "Are you taking the kids to the Christmas Tree lighting at Rockefeller Center this year? It's your big tradition isn't it?"

Elliot smiled and nodded his head. "It is…but I don't know if we'll go this year. Last year…it just wasn't the same."

Olivia smiled sadly. "You mean because Kathy wasn't there?"

Elliot nodded. "The kids didn't have as much fun…our hearts weren't in it really."

"It was the first year without her though." Olivia said shrugging. "Maybe this year will be better? I think you should go…you always say you want to keep things as normal as possible for the kids. This is your favorite time of the year El…"

He sighed and shuffled some papers on his desk. "It used to be…"

Olivia frowned; she hated seeing him like this. Ever since she had known him, whenever Christmas had rolled around a little bit of his macho exterior had melted away. She had never been a big fan of Christmas; she never got any presents on Christmas morning. And her Mom had ruined the illusion of Santa by the time she was four.

To her Christmas had always been a lonely holiday filled with broken promises and thoughts of hope that didn't exist. But once she met Elliot, some of his spirit had begun to rub off on her. She didn't have a relationship of her own and she didn't have any kids, but she had to admit there was something about the spirit of Christmas that made everything just a little brighter.

It was hard being partners with Elliot sometimes, because the fact of the matter was she had been in love with him since the day she met him. He of course had been married and she never would have done anything to ruin that. But he and Kathy had been divorced for over two years and she had to admit that she had hoped that he would ask her out on a date.

She would never ask him, she was too shy and she didn't think she could take it if he rejected her. But right now it didn't matter if he never looked at her the way she wanted him too. For the past two years she had seen him working his ass off here at the precinct and then going home to take care of his four kids. They meant the world to him.

He looked so tired and defeated sitting across from her. She couldn't even remember the last time she had seen him smile. She had hoped that since it was Christmas time again a little bit of the old Elliot would return. However, it was becoming painfully clear that she was going to have too search for that Elliot. Her Elliot.

She was in need of a Christmas miracle to make him smile again, and she was going to do whatever it took to make that happen this year.

"Elliot…" She whispered softly, he was still looking down at his desk so she tried again. "El?"

He looked up at her and tried to smile. "What?"

"I know that Kathy broke your heart when she left…" She paused; this was always a sore subject for him. "But…it's been two years El. It's time to move on…not just for you but for the kids too."

He nodded his head. "I know you're right. And I am over Kathy…that's not the problem. I just feel like I failed my kids, they need a Mom in their life. I can only do so much…"

"They have your Mom though…" Olivia whispered.

Elliot nodded again. "True. But it's not the same…"

She sighed. "I know you are stubborn…but I've been telling you for two years to call me for anything you needed. And you never call me…I'm not their Mom…I could never be their Mom but you know I'd do anything for your kids El. Or you…"

Elliot stared at her for a moment and smiled softly. "I know. I appreciate that…and you have been so helpful. I guess I just don't want to burden you…"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You could never be a burden to me El." She stood up and smiled before walking back to his desk. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

Elliot stared up at her feeling very confused. "Go? Go where?"

"We can finish this paper work tomorrow." She said shrugging. "You look like you need a break, a little fresh air to help you clear your head."

"Where are we going?" Elliot asked he stood up.

"We are going for a walk. They've already put up lights and all the stores have their displays. Let's go walk around a little…check it out. You used to love doing that!" She said grabbing their coats and throwing his to him. "You in?"

Elliot caught his coat and smiled before standing up and slipping it on. "Sure. Why not?"

"Good." Olivia slipped her own coat on and grabbed her coffee. "Let's go."

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><p>Twenty minutes later they were walking through the crowded streets of New York City. Elliot's Mom had moved in with him after Kathy left so he could help her look after the kids, it was a big help especially since he worked late often. It was a little past 8:30 at night so the city was lit up with all the beautiful lights and Elliot couldn't help but feel a little better.<p>

Olivia looked over at him and noticed that he had a small smile growing on his lips, she nudged him gently. "See! I told you this would make you feel better."

Elliot chuckled. "You always know how to cheer me up Liv. Thanks…"

She shrugged. "Don't mention it." They came up to a toy store and Olivia stopped to look in the window. "Any idea what you're getting the kids this year?"

Elliot sighed. "Not a clue…"

Olivia smiled as the train set in the window chugged along between the dolls, toy soldiers and teddy bears. "Did they write their letters to Santa yet?"

Elliot smiled and nodded. "Dickie gave me his last week. It was three pages long."

Olivia laughed. "Well at least he knows what he wants."

Elliot nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah…I just wish I could afford everything they wanted. With just one income and four kids to feed plus my Mom…I just don't know what I'll be able to get this year."

Olivia saw the happiness fading from his face again. "Kathy still hasn't called or sent any money?"

Elliot shook his head. "Nope. Once the divorce was finalized I didn't hear from her again…if she doesn't want to be with me that's fine but I wish she hadn't ditched the kids like that."

"Do they still ask about her?" Olivia asked curiously.

Elliot shook his head. "Not anymore. I think it's just to hard for them to talk about it. Maureen and Kathleen are older…they know she isn't coming back. But deep down I think Lizzie and Dickie think she will come back someday…"

Olivia turned her attention back to the store window and whispered softly. "You never know…maybe she will."

Elliot laughed sadly. "I highly doubt it. She made it pretty clear that she didn't want this life anymore. And even if she did…" He shook his head. "I'm not sure they would forgive her…at least not Maureen and Kathleen."

Olivia linked her arm with his and tried to smile. "You are a terrific father Elliot…you have done so much for those kids and no matter what happens they will understand that someday. They don't have a Mom…but they pretty much have the greatest father in the world."

Elliot smiled down at her and he felt his heart skip a beat. He would be lying if he denied he was attracted to Olivia and he couldn't pretend he didn't have feelings for her. She was his best friend, and his biggest supporter through his whole mess of a marriage. His kids adored her, and even though he didn't call often for help Olivia always seemed to sense when he needed her.

Sometimes she'd show up at the house during the middle of a hectic night. Elliot would ask what she was doing there and she'd reply that she felt like he needed an extra hand. It was like she could sense it, it always amazed him.

She had a way of calming the kids down when they were upset, making them laugh and giving them advice when they needed it. She was especially helpful with Maureen and Kathleen as they were getting older, he didn't feel comfortable talking about sex with them and puberty and Olivia stepped in without hesitation.

He didn't know where he would be without her, but something had always held him back from pursing a romantic relationship with her. He knew it was probably for selfish reasons, he was afraid to lose her. Hell, he didn't even know if Olivia felt the same but he knew that if she did and they got together and eventually something went wrong…he would never be able to handle it if she left.

He also wanted to protect his kids from getting hurt again, so he just decided to keep their relationship strictly work and friendship related.

"Thanks Liv…that means a lot." Elliot said smiling at her softy.

"Well its true El…I mean most people in your situation would have given up ya know? But you work so hard at the precinct and even harder when you get home. Those kids…they adore you. I know it isn't easy…but it's worth it to see them smile right?" Olivia asked.

Elliot nodded and looked sadly back at the store window. "Yeah…it is. I just wish I could make their Christmas happy…"

Olivia frowned and looked at the toys again. "Well…it's still early. You have the whole month to figure something out Elliot. Just…try not to stress about it too much okay?"

He sighed and started to pull her away from the window. "I'll try…"

"Good." She said squeezing his arm tighter. "Now let's go and get some coffee…"

* * *

><p>Two days later was the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center. Elliot and Olivia were finishing up some work at their desks when Bernie walked in with Elliot's four kids.<p>

"Olivia!" Six year old Dickie said running over to her desk with his twin sister Lizzie in tow.

Olivia smiled and put her pen down before scooping the young boy up and pulling Lizzie to her side. "Hey guys! Are you excited to go see them light the big tree?"

"I can't wait!" Lizzie said jumping up and down. "It's always so pretty!"

Olivia laughed and smiled at the girl. "It is very pretty, and very big!"

"I wish we could have a tree that big at our house!" Dickie said. "Think of all the presents Santa could fit under it!"

Olivia laughed. "Yes well I don't think a tree that big would fit in your house…but I'm sure you will have a great tree this year like you always do."

"Hey Liv." Maureen said walking over to her Dad, she kissed his cheek. "Hey Dad."

"Hey guys." Elliot said putting his papers in his desk. "I'm almost ready."

"Olivia are you coming with us?" Kathleen asked hopefully.

Olivia looked at her desk. "Oh no honey…I don't think so. This is your family tradition, I don't want to intrude. And I have a lot of work to finish up anyway."

"You wouldn't be intruding." Maureen said rolling his eyes. "We'd love it if you came with us. Right Dad?"

Elliot nodded. "Yeah Liv why don't you come with us? We've been working on this case for days…the paper work will still be here in the morning."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked looking at him skeptically. "I don't-"

"Please come Livvie." Lizzie said pouting. "Please?"

Olivia smiled and felt her heart melt looking at Elliot's youngest daughter. "Well how can I say no to a face like that?"

"Yes!" Lizzie said leaning in to hug her.

Dickie jumped off of Olivia's lap and Olivia slipped on her coat. She smiled at Elliot's mother who leaned in to give her a hug.

"Olivia! Look at you, all skin and bones! You need to eat more!" Bernie said shaking her head as she pulled away.

Olivia laughed. "I eat plenty Bernie…don't worry."

The older woman shook her head. "Clearly you don't. You need to come over for dinner more often so I can put some meat on those bones of yours. You work too hard…just like my son."

Olivia smiled. "Well…someone has to keep the streets clean of the scum right?"

Bernie laughed. "I supposed so."

"Dad can we go now?" Dickie asked pulling at his fathers arm. "I don't want to miss the countdown! You know it's my favorite part!"

Elliot smiled and reached for his coat. "Yeah buddy. Let's go." He scooped up his son and they all walked towards the elevators to make their way to Rockefeller Center.

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><p>Thirty minutes later, they were standing among the large crowd watching the performers sing Christmas songs. Elliot was holding both Lizzie and Dickie in his arms so they could see over the crowd. Kathleen was standing next to Bernie singing along to one of the songs and Maureen and Olivia were arm in arm on the other side of Bernie.<p>

"So how's school going?" Olivia asked.

Maureen shrugged. "Oh you know…it's alright. I have a lot of projects and stuff to do before Christmas break but I'll get it all done."

Olivia smiled. "You always do."

"I've been meaning to ask you…we're all in the Christmas pageant this year at church. It's on December 23rd…you probably have plans but if you don't…do you think you could come?" Maureen asked skeptically.

Olivia smiled. "I don't have plans. And I'd love to come see the pageant!"

Maureen relaxed and smiled happily. "Really?"

"Of course! Your Dad was telling me about it. He said you are the narrator this year." Olivia said. "That's pretty impressive!"

Maureen nodded. "Yeah…I'm really nervous. Dickie and Lizzie are angels and Kathleen is in the choir. It should be pretty good, don't feel like you have to come though."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Oh don't be silly. There is nowhere else I'd rather be that night. Don't you worry…I'll be there."

Maureen smiled and held on to Olivia's arm more tightly. She loved spending time with Olivia. Ever since her Mom had left she had craved the Mother daughter bond she was missing and whenever she was with Olivia that void seemed to be filled. Olivia was always so compassionate and patient with her and her siblings. And Maureen knew that her father really cared for her too, he always seemed more relaxed and much happier when Olivia was around.

It was times like this when she wished that her Dad would just ask Olivia out on a date. She would be lying if she didn't wish that they would someday get married so that Olivia could be her Mom. She knew that her real Mom wasn't going to come back…when she had first left, Maureen thought maybe after she had calmed down a bit she would change her mind.

But it had been two years, and they still hadn't heard from her. And even if Kathy did come back, Maureen wasn't sure she could ever forgive her for walking out on her family the way she did.

"Hey Liv can I ask you something?" Maureen asked softly, not wanting her father to overhear them.

Olivia looked back at Maureen and smiled. "Sure. What's on your mind kid?"

"Well…what do you think of my Dad?" Maureen asked, her face flushing slightly.

Olivia considered the question for a moment before answering. "Well…your Dad is my best friend Maureen. We've been partners for a long time; I think he's great. But…why do you ask?"

Maureen shrugged and turned back to the stage before answering. "I don't know…I was just wondering I guess. Grandma wants him to start dating again…so I was just seeing if he was desirable or not."

Olivia let the words sink in, the idea of Elliot dating again cut through her like a knife. She knew he had been very lonely since Kathy had left and the kids deserved to have someone in their life like a Mother figure. But she couldn't deny the fact that she wanted that person to be her…

But more than anything, she didn't want to see Elliot or his children get hurt again. She couldn't think of anyone that could possibly be good enough for them, not even her.

"Oh really? Well…yes Maureen, any woman would be lucky to have your Dad in their life. I'm sure…" She paused and looked over at Elliot who was laughing as Dickie and Lizzie sang Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs, her heart jumped slightly in her chest. "I'm sure he'll find someone very special someday…"

Maureen caught the way that Olivia was looking at her father and she couldn't help but smile. "Yeah…I'm sure he will too."

Olivia turned back to the stage and bit her lip thinking hard about Elliot dating. "What did…what did your Dad say when your Grandma said he should start dating again?"

Maureen smirked but tried to hide it, she could tell that Olivia was jealous. "Oh you know Dad…he just pretended to be listening to her really. He says he doesn't have any time for a relationship anyway."

"Oh. So…he isn't dating anyone?" Olivia asked curiously.

Maureen shook her head. "Not that I know of. He's either with me us at home or with you at work so…unless you know something?"

Olivia shook her head and looked at Elliot out of the corner of her eyes. "No. He hasn't mentioned anyone…"

"Well the amount of time he spends with you, he might as well be dating you." Maureen teased, hoping to get a reaction out of Olivia.

Olivia blushed and shook her head. "No. No your Dad and I are just friends Maureen. We're just friends…"

Maureen smiled when she saw the sudden color in Olivia's cheeks. "Right. I know…just friends."

Olivia smiled at Maureen and then turned back to the stage as they began the countdown. She could hear Dickie and Lizzie shouting out the numbers in excitement, she turned to look at them just as Elliot turned to look at her.

She felt her heart start beating a mile a minute when he smiled at her. She smiled back just as the tree lit up, she felt Maureen tug at her arm and she looked back at the huge Christmas tree in front of her.

It was absolutely beautiful. "Doesn't it make you feel like anything is possible?" Maureen whispered to Olivia.

Olivia smiled and nodded her head. "Yeah. It really does…"

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><p>Fifteen minutes later they were walking back to their cars. Dickie and Lizzie were holding Bernie's hands as Maureen and Kathleen chatted about all the artists that had sung that night.<p>

Elliot walked up beside Olivia and put a hand on her back, her face flushed at the contact. "Are you cold?" Elliot asked.

"Hm? Oh…um…" She felt flustered and confused as she thought about Maureen talking to her about Elliot dating again. "Yeah a little…"

He smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him making her feel even more confused and yet happy all at the same time. "You've lived in the City long enough…you should know how to dress in the winter."

Olivia laughed. "Well…to be fair I wasn't really planning on coming here tonight. I wasn't prepared…"

Elliot chuckled. "Fine. I guess that's acceptable. I'm glad you came though…the kids love spending time with you."

Olivia smiled. "I'm glad I came too. It was fun…you know I love spending time with your kids too."

"What about me? We spend so much time together you're probably totally sick of me." Elliot said laughing.

Olivia shook her head and said honestly. "No. Not really…I mean don't get me wrong you can be a pain in the ass sometimes but you could be worse I guess."

Elliot smirked. "Gee thanks…"

"Hey I don't hear you saying how much you love spending time with me everyday." Olivia said nudging him in the side.

Elliot rubbed her arm up and down. "Liv…if I didn't have you in my life I would not have been able to keep it together these last few years. You're like my savior…you keep my sane when I just want to give up."

Olivia felt a lump growing in her throat when she heard his words; he wasn't usually so open with her about things like his feelings. "Oh…well you're my best friend El. I just want to see you and your kids happy…you know that."

Elliot nodded slowly. "Yeah I do. But it doesn't mean I appreciate it any less…"

"Well like I said the other day, you have pretty amazing kids. Anything you need…don't be to stubborn to ask for it." Olivia said softly. "Especially right now with Christmas coming up…I know things are hard for you and if you-"

"I know where you are going with that sentence and I don't want you to finish it." Elliot said shaking his head. "I could never ask you to help me with the kids Christmas gifts."

Olivia shook her head. "But you didn't ask…I'm offering!"

Elliot pulled Olivia back just slightly once they reached their cars, his kids piled in his van parked next to Olivia's car. "Liv…"

She smiled at him. "Elliot…don't be so proud. There isn't anything wrong with asking for help…"

Elliot sighed and looked at his kids who were all in the car now singing Christmas songs. "There are certain things that I feel like I need to do on my own. I appreciate it but I would just not be able to live with that…I'd feel to guilty having you help me with that."

Olivia shrugged. "Alright. Well…just think about it okay? You still have time to change your mind…"

Elliot smiled at her. "You're relentless."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please…it's not like I have anyone to buy gifts for anyway. It's not a big deal."

Elliot was quiet for a moment, he never really thought about the fact that Olivia didn't have any family to go to on Christmas. He wondered where she went or what she did on Christmas day. He had never thought to ask her to join them…especially when he was with Kathy because he knew how his wife felt about Olivia.

But he thought about last Christmas and he realized that Olivia had agreed to switch shifts with him so that he could be home with the kids on Christmas morning. That meant she worked all Christmas day and went home to an empty house…

The thought of her being alone on Christmas broke his heart. "It's getting late and I have to meet Alex tomorrow in court pretty early."

Elliot snapped out of his daze for a moment and nodded. "Oh yeah…right. Okay."

"Just…think about what I said alright?" Olivia said putting a hand on his arm as she smiled up at him. "I really wouldn't mind…I love your kids. I just want them to have a good Christmas."

Elliot smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah. I'll think about it. You'll be okay getting home?"

She rolled her eyes and walked over to her car. "I can hold my own Detective Stabler."

He laughed. "Trust me I know. But just humor me and text me when you get home alright? Just so I know you are safe."

Olivia smiled at him as she opened her car door. "You'll keep calling me until I do won't you?"

Elliot smirked. "Yep."

"Stubborn son of a bitch." She said as she slipped into the car and started it.

Elliot laughed and waved as she pulled out of her parking spot, he turned back to his car and slipped into the drivers seat. "Everyone have fun?"

"Yeah!" Dickie yelled. "This was the best tree yet! Did you see how big it was Dad? Did you?"

"Oh I saw it buddy." Elliot said smiling at him in the rearview mirror.

"When are we going to get our tree Daddy?" Lizzie asked from her seat.

"Well…I don't have to work on Sunday if you guys want to go pick one out." Elliot said as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"That would be good." Kathleen said. "I'm really glad Olivia could come with us tonight. I love hanging out with her."

Maureen watched her fathers face light up and she smirked. "Yeah. Liv is pretty awesome. Don't you think Dad?"

Elliot cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah. Liv is pretty awesome. She loves you guys."

"You should invite her to come pick out a tree with us." Maureen said smirking.

"Yeah! Let's invite Livvie!" Lizzie said. "Will you ask her Dad?"

Bernie smiled at her son as he stopped at a traffic light and rubbed the back of his neck, something he always did when he was nervous. "Uh well…I'll ask her but you know Olivia has her own life guys. She might have plans…"

"She might…but you won't know until you ask her." Maureen said.

Elliot looked at his eldest daughter in the rearview mirror and laughed. "You seem to be pushing this…why do you want her to come so badly?"

Maureen shrugged. "I don't know. I just have a lot of fun with her…I like talking to her. She gets me…"

Elliot smiled. "Alright…well I'll ask her tomorrow at work okay? But if she has other plans we need to respect that, okay?"

"Sure." Maureen said smiling. "Of course."

Elliot wanted to change the subject, he was starting to feel nervous about talking about Olivia so much. "Why don't we see if there are any good Christmas songs on the radio, shall we?"

Maureen just laughed and turned to look out the window, already cooking up a plan on how to get her Father and Olivia together before Christmas. She just hoped that he didn't catch on to her plan before she could have it set in motion… 

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><p>When they got home, Elliot got the kids all ready for bed and tucked them in with the help of his Mother. He went to his room got changed and brushed his teeth before he went to lie down on his bed, suddenly feeling very tired. He closed his eyes for a minute before he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.<p>

He flipped it open and smiled when he saw Olivia's name on the screen as he read her text. _"Home safe and sound Stabler. You can sleep easy now. See you tomorrow!"_

He chuckled and typed back. _"Glad to hear it Benson. Thanks again for coming, the kids loved spending time with you. Good luck in court tomorrow. Good night!"_

He smiled and flipped his phone shut before putting in on the table beside his bed. He pulled the covers up over him and closed his eyes thinking about how much he couldn't wait to see Olivia tomorrow… 

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><p><strong>I hope you like it. Let me know what you think :) <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad you guys are interested in this story :) I'll be updating it quickly since it is a Christmas story and I want to have it finished before Christmas is actually here. Hope you like the new chapter! **

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><p>The next afternoon at work, Elliot was at his desk typing up some paperwork when Olivia came in after her court appearance. She smiled and held out a cup of coffee to him, which he gladly accepted.<p>

"You are a life saver." Elliot said laughing as he took a sip of his coffee. "How was court?"

"Good. Alex made a really strong argument…if the jury doesn't find the prick guilty I would be extremely surprised." Olivia said sitting down at her desk.

Elliot nodded and took another sip of his coffee. "Well that's good."

He watched her shuffle papers around on his desk until she found what she was looking for. He was thinking about seeing her with his kids the night before and how comfortable she looked with them. His kids seemed to smile more when she was around, and that made him even more attracted to her.

He could tell that Maureen could see some sort of connection between her father and Olivia. He wondered if anyone else saw it…sometimes he thought it was just because they worked so closely together for so long. But now he was starting to think it was more than that…he just wasn't sure if it was a good idea to peruse a relationship with her.

When Kathy left, he had felt sad but not so much for his self, more so for his kids. He had known for a long time that his marriage to Kathy wasn't going well and that it would ultimately end up in divorce. But that didn't mean he had expected her to walk out on the kids forever too. What hurt the most was seeing how lost his kids were, he saw the connection Olivia had with them and he didn't want her to ditch them like Kathy had.

He didn't think that Olivia would intentionally do that; he just figured he'd find a way to screw up a relationship with her resulting in her having to leave. He couldn't bear to watch his kids get their hearts broken again. He loved his kids so much that he was willing to put his own personal feelings aside to make sure they were happy. But it wasn't easy…

"So…Maureen invited me to their Christmas Pageant." Olivia said softly. "I told her I would go…but I just want to make sure you are okay with that."

Elliot stared at her for a moment before smiling. "Liv if you don't want to go you don't have too. It's okay…"

Olivia shook her head. "No. That's not why I'm asking. I just…I don't want to intrude. They are your kids…if you don't want me to go I won't. It's okay."

Elliot smiled at her. "It would mean a lot to the kids if you were there, and you most definitely wouldn't be intruding. I think it would be great if you came."

Olivia's smile widened. "Well good. I'll be there then."

Elliot nodded and looked at his computer screen. "That reminds me…the kids were wondering if you wanted to come help us pick out our Christmas tree on Sunday. Feel free to say no, I totally understand if you can't or you don't want to. But I promised them I'd ask…"

Olivia stared at him for a moment. "They asked if I would go?"

Elliot nodded. "Yeah. They had a great time with you last night, we all did."

Olivia blushed. "Well I had a great time too. And…I'd love to come help pick out the tree."

Elliot smiled and turned back to his computer. "Well alright then. I'll tell them tonight, they are going to be very happy."

Olivia smiled and got starting on her work. She was trying to ignore the fact that her heart was beating faster than it usually did…but it didn't seem to be working. She knew the more time she spent with Elliot and his family the more she would want to be a part of it.

Her heart was telling her to spend as much time with them as possible, but her head was telling her to get out while she still could. She shook that thought away and reminded herself she was just being a friend by helping Elliot with his kids. They were friends after all…and helping each other was what friends did.

* * *

><p>That Sunday afternoon, Olivia drove to Elliot's house and parked in the driveway. She walked up to the front door and was about to knock on the door but it opened before she got the chance.<p>

"Olivia!" Maureen said smiling from ear to ear.

Olivia laughed. "Hey Maureen. How'd you know it was me?"

"Saw you pull in from my window upstairs." Maureen said walking out onto the front step.

Olivia nodded. "Oh. Well how are you?"

"I'm good. But…do you think we could talk for a minute before you come in? Dad's getting the twins read to leave and Lizzie is on the phone with a friend anyway. Grandma went out for the night." Maureen said shutting the front door behind her.

Olivia smiled. "Well sure…is everything okay?"

Maureen nodded. "Yeah! Yeah everything is fine…I just want your advice on something. I'd talk to Dad…but he'd probably freak out and he doesn't get the girl stuff ya know?"

Olivia laughed. "I can just imagine your Dad squirming when you try and talk to him about girl stuff."

Maureen shrugged. "I guess I should give him credit for trying."

Olivia smiled. "Well he loves you. Of course he would try and help. But what's on your mind?"

Maureen sighed. "Well…see there is this guy in one of my classes that I kind of like…"

Olivia nodded in understanding. "Oh…yes your Dad would probably freak out if you told him. As far as he concerned you and your sisters have no business dating until you are forty years old."

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Believe me I know."

Olivia chuckled. "He just worries that's all. What's this boy's name?"

"Matt Walters." Maureen said smiling. "He has brown curly hair and green eyes, and he's really nice and funny. But honestly…I don't think he knows I exist."

Olivia smiled at Elliot's oldest daughter and remembered what it was like to have your very first crush. "I highly doubt that…you are a beautiful girl. You are extremely smart and very funny. How could he not notice you?"

"Well I mean he notices me…we talk. But I think he thinks of me more as a friend." Maureen said with a small frown.

"Well why do you think that?" Olivia asked, she knew Maureen was really to young to date but that didn't mean they couldn't talk about boys.

"He's always joking around with me, poking me in class cuz he sits behind me. He asks for help with homework and things like that…but I don't know he doesn't look at me like he looks at other girls." Maureen said looking down and kicking at the top step.

Olivia crossed her arms over her chest. "And how exactly does he look at other girls?"

Maureen sighed. "I don't know…he just…stares at them…"

Olivia tried to hold in her laughter. "And he doesn't…stare at you?"

"No he looks at me…I guess you could say he stares. But I just…" Maureen sighed and sat down on the front step. "It just seems different…"

Olivia smiled and sat down beside her. "Well does he talk to these other girls he stares at?"

Maureen shook her head. "No. Not really…I mean I guess he does sometimes."

"But he talks to you more than them?" Olivia asked.

Maureen nodded. "Yes. Definitely."

"Well…then I think that means he likes you." Olivia said honestly. "If he is taking the time to talk to you and not those other girls clearly he sees something in you he doesn't see in them right?"

Maureen thought about it for a moment. "Well I guess so…"

Olivia smiled and put her arm around the girl. "Look Maureen…I'm in my thirties and guys still completely confuse me. I know it's hard sometimes but you have plenty of time to worry about relationships. You're still a kid…don't start stressing now."

Maureen smiled. "You sound like my Dad…"

Olivia laughed. "Well we do spend a lot of time together…he must be rubbing off on me."

Maureen smirked. "You're pretty close to Dad aren't you?"

Olivia nodded. "Sure. He's my best friend."

"So you think guys and girls can be just friends?" Maureen questioned.

Olivia shrugged. "Sure. Why not? It doesn't always have to be romantic…you can be just friends with a guy. There is nothing wrong with that."

Maureen nodded. "I guess you're right." She paused for a moment to think. "Can I ask you something else?"

"You can ask me anything you want kid." Olivia said squeezing her shoulder.

Maureen smiled. "Okay. Well…do you want to get married someday?"

Olivia was taken aback by her question; she didn't think she would ask something so personal. "Oh…um…" She paused and pulled her arm back. "Yeah...yeah I'd like to get married someday. You know…if I find the right person."

Maureen stared at her for a moment. "How do you think you'll know when you find the right person?"

Olivia laughed. "Well I don't know…I haven't found him yet."

"Or so you think…" Maureen said smirking. "For all you know…you could be friends with him right now."

Olivia looked over at Maureen curiously, wondering if the girl was implying what she thought she was implying. "Maureen…"

"I mean they say most people meet their soul mate long before they realize it. Isn't that cool?" Maureen asked smiling.

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah. I guess so."

"I think most people are just to stubborn to admit how they feel about someone…that's why it takes them so long to realize they have already met them." Maureen said.

Olivia laughed. "You are probably right. But when did you become so knowledgeable about relationships? I thought you were the one asking me for advice…"

Maureen blushed. "Just telling you my opinion. But what about you? I mean…what if you met the right person? Do you think you would be brave enough to tell them how you really feel?"

Olivia considered her question for a moment, she had met the right person but she was much too afraid to tell him in fear of rejection and losing him. "I'd like to think so…but I don't know. The thing is…I'm not really like other people when it comes to relationships."

Maureen laughed. "What does that mean?"

Olivia laughed. "Well…see the thing is Maureen I had a much different like than you do. I never learned how to trust people…at least not enough to really let them in all the way. Not right away at least…and even then I'm so afraid to lose them that most of the time I'd rather just pretend that I don't feel anything at all."

Maureen stared at her for a moment. "Well that's stupid."

Olivia laughed again. "Yeah I guess it is…but it's hard to change the way you do things after so long. You'll learn that someday…"

Maureen turned away from Olivia and looked out on her front yard. "I think you deserve to be happy Olivia. I mean we all do…but you especially. You've been so good to us…not just when Mom left but even before that. You deserve a family too…"

Olivia let her words sink in; she felt a lump in her throat when she realized how much she cared for this girl. "Well…thank you Maureen. That means a lot."

Maureen turned back to Olivia. "Dad says that Christmas is a time to think about what we really want and find a way to go for it. He says Christmas makes you realize what is most important in life and to hold on to it as tight as you can. It's because Christmas is a time to be with the people you love most…"

Olivia smiled. "Well your father is a very smart man…if he says that then you should take his advice to heart."

Maureen nodded her head and smiled. "If you think he's so smart…maybe you should take his advice too."

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but the front door opening interrupted her. "Hey. What are you two doing out here? It's freezing." Elliot said looking down at them.

Olivia looked up at Elliot and then back at Maureen, still trying to comprehend everything she had said. "Oh just having a little girl talk…is everyone ready to go?" Maureen asked her father as she stood up.

"Yep. You guys ready?" Elliot asked as Olivia stood up.

Maureen nodded and looked back at Olivia. "I'm ready. Are you Liv?"

Olivia swallowed hard before nodding her head. "Yeah. I'm ready."

Maureen smiled and went inside to get her brother and sisters, leaving Elliot and Olivia alone knowing full well that she had frazzled Olivia. That meant her plan had worked…there was no Matt Walters. She had only made him up so she could get a feel on what she was working with. She needed to know just how far Olivia's trust issues went and if she would be able to get her to go out with her Dad at all.

It was true that Olivia found it difficult to be in relationships and it was clear that she was afraid to lose Elliot as a friend. But if she played her cards right…she thought she could find a way to make both her Dad and Olivia see they could never be just friends.

When Maureen slipped inside, Elliot turned to Olivia. "What were you two talking about?"

Olivia licked her lips, trying to snap out of her daze. "Oh um…nothing really. Just…just girl stuff. It wouldn't interest you…"

Elliot raised his eyebrow skeptically. "Girl stuff? Does she like someone?"

Olivia laughed at how protective Elliot was. "Don't worry Elliot…she's only thirteen. She's a smart girl…she won't do anything she isn't ready for."

Elliot sighed. "Thirteen…I feel like she was five yesterday. Where did the time go?"

Olivia smiled. "You have to get used to her growing up El…it's a part of life. You've done such a great job raising her you should trust that she will make the right choices."

Elliot nodded. "I guess you are right…" Olivia nodded and turned to look towards the cars, it was clear something was on her mind. "Hey…you okay?"

Olivia looked back at him, her heart was beating fast again a sure fire sign that Maureen was right. Sometimes you couldn't ignore the connection you had with some people no matter how much you wanted to in order to save yourself…

"Yeah…I'm fine. Sorry. Just kind of tired." She said lying through her teeth.

Elliot squinted at her. "If you want to go home…I'm sure the kids will understand."

Olivia shook her head. "No way. I told them I'd be here…not backing out on my promises."

Elliot smiled just as his kids ran out of the house towards the car; all of them were very excited to pick out the tree.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later they were at the tree lot walking up and down the rows of trees searching for the right one. Olivia breathed in; she loved the smell of fresh Christmas trees. She had never had one as a kid but everyday in December when she walked home from school she passed a Tree lot. She'd always stop and smell the trees because it made her happy.<p>

Elliot watched his kids run from tree to tree, fighting over which one to get. "I guarantee they will want the most expensive one." He said laughing.

Olivia smiled. "Of course."

"Last year Dickie saw a tree that was over ten feet tall and he was determined to get me to buy it." He said shaking his head.

Olivia laughed. "He's so much like you it's scary…"

Elliot chuckled. "I suppose you are right. It was a beautiful tree…but it never would have fit in the house."

"Of course not." She said smiling.

Elliot looked over at her and noticed she still seemed sad. "You sure you are okay? You seem…I don't know different somehow…"

Olivia tried to smile at him. "I'm fine El…really." She shrugged. "I just have a lot on my mind, but it's nothing I won't figure out."

Elliot looked down at his shoes as he walked. "Well…if you want to talk about it…" He shrugged. "You know I'm here right?"

She smiled at him. "I know El. Thanks."

Elliot laughed. "So you're not going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Olivia smirked. "You just love to pry don't you…"

He laughed again. "Just looking out for you…besides I might be able to help. What's going on?"

Olivia sighed. "I'm just…feeling a little confused about things. I mean…I've always taken care of myself and that's fine. I'm used to it…I can handle it. But lately…I guess I've just been wondering if I'm too closed off. I'm wondering if I'm incapable of being in a relationship ya know? Just being…happy with someone else."

Elliot thought about what she was saying, he wondered if she was thinking about being a relationship with someone in particular. The thought made him feel irrationally jealous but he couldn't help it. Even though he told himself they had to be just friends…the thought of her being with another man really irritated him.

He shook his head. "You are not incapable of being in a relationship Olivia. Any guy would be lucky to be with you…it's not like you haven't had any suitors."

"Suitors?" Olivia asked laughing at his word choice.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You get asked out all the time…all you have to do is say yes."

Olivia nodded. "I know…but for some reason I always freeze up. I don't feel comfortable with any of them…is that stupid?"

Elliot shook his head. "No. I know what you mean…it's important to feel comfortable with someone you are thinking of being in a relationship with."

Olivia nodded. "I guess…I'm kind of just hoping that eventually the right guy will find me and I won't have to do any of the work." She said laughing.

Elliot chuckled. "Yeah…that's impossible. Life isn't like in the movies…"

She sighed playfully. "I suppose you are right…"

Elliot stopped and Olivia turned towards him, he was smiling softly. "You'll find the right guy Liv…you'll know when its right. And whoever that guy is…well he is going to be one lucky son of a bitch and he better treat you right or I'll kick his ass."

Olivia smiled. "Thanks El…"

He winked at her and turned towards hid kids, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. Little did he know…Olivia was trying to do the same thing.

"Dad!" Dickie said running over to him. "Dad we found it!"

Elliot pushed his feelings aside and followed his son, Olivia was right behind him. They walked up to a 7-foot tree that was perfectly shaped, no extra branches hanging out or anything. Just a beautiful Christmas tree…

"Isn't it perfect?" Lizzie asked pulling at her Dad's jacket.

Elliot smiled down at his youngest daughter. "It sure is Lizzie…"

"Can we get it Dad?" Kathleen asked hopefully.

He checked the price on it, and even though it was more than he had wanted to spend he couldn't say no to them. "Absolutely."

* * *

><p>When they got home, Olivia helped Elliot carry it inside and set it up in the stand in the living room. Maureen turned on some Christmas music to put them all in a festive mood and Kathleen went to get the ornaments.<p>

When they were done setting it up, Elliot stepped back to admire it. "Looks good to me." He turned to Olivia. "Thanks for helping."

Olivia smiled. "No problem."

"Dad when do we get to decorate it?" Dickie asked his father.

"We have to let the branches fall a little buddy. We can eat dinner and then decorate it okay?" He said patting his head.

Maureen turned to Olivia. "Are you going to stay and help us decorate the tree?" She asked.

Olivia looked at Maureen and the rest of Elliot's kids who were looking hopefully at her. "Oh…um…"

"You have to stay!" Kathleen said. "You helped us pick it out…you have to be here to decorate it with us."

Olivia looked at Elliot. "Well…it's up to your Dad. This is a family thing and I-"

"You are family." Maureen said smirking at her.

Olivia felt her heart jump at Maureen's words; it made her feel very happy to be considered part of their family.

"She's right. You should stay." Elliot said. "Unless you have other plans…"

Olivia turned to him and shook her head. "No. I don't have any other plans…"

"So stay…" He whispered softly, a beautiful smile on his face.

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat, the way he was looking at her made her want to kiss him but she knew she couldn't. "Okay then…I'll stay."

The kids all smiled as they went into the kitchen to help Elliot make dinner, they were all eager to eat so they could start decorating faster.

After they ate and all the dishes were cleaned they all went back to the living room. Elliot started to unravel the lights, as the kids were looking at all the ornaments.

"Want some help?" Olivia asked picking up a set of lights.

Elliot nodded. "Sure. No matter how carefully I put these away…they always end up in a huge knot…"

Olivia laughed. "Must be frustrating."

He sighed. "You have no idea."

She smiled. "No. I guess I don't."

Elliot watched her as she started to carefully pull apart the wires. "Do you have a fake tree every year or something?"

Olivia blushed feeling embarrassed. "Uh no…I've actually never had a Christmas tree before."

Elliot stopped what he was doing and stared at her. "You're kidding."

She smiled and shook her head. "Nope. I'm not."

"Well how come?" Elliot asked. "I mean I know you're not really religious but…that doesn't mean you don't celebrate Christmas does it?"

Olivia shrugged. "My Mom hated Christmas so we never celebrated it when I was growing up. I guess when I got my own place…I didn't really see the point in getting a tree that only I would see."

Elliot felt sad by her words. "Oh…"

She smiled. "Don't look at me like that…I'm fine. You can't miss something you never had in the first place right?"

Elliot thought about what she had said for a moment. "I mean I guess so. I think for me…Christmas has always been such a big part of my life I can't imagine not celebrating it."

"Well that's what makes us different I suppose. But I have to admit…I've enjoyed spending time with you and your kids doing all sorts of Christmas activities. It's been fun…" She said.

Elliot smiled at her. "Well we've loved having you here." He paused for a moment and went back to untangling lights before talking again. "You know…if you don't have anything else to do that day…I know the kids would love it if you could spend Christmas with us."

Olivia stopped what she was doing and looked back up at him. "Spend Christmas with you guys?"

Elliot swallowed nervously. "Yeah…I mean like I said if you have something else to do or you don't want to you don't have too. I understand…but the offer is there if you want to take it."

Olivia looked back at her ball of lights and smiled. "That would be…that would be nice El. Thanks…"

"So you'll be here?" Elliot asked hopefully, he knew in his heart he was getting a little too attached but he couldn't help it.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Definitely."

He smiled back. "Good." He walked over to the tree and started to string the lights.

Olivia stood on one side and he stood on the other and they passed the lights back and forth as they wrapped them around the tree. Every now and then their hands would accidently touch and their eyes would meet, a blush creeping up in their cheeks. This was something that didn't go unnoticed by Maureen who was watching from the sidelines, she was starting to think she wouldn't have as much trouble with getting them together as she had originally thought.

Once all the lights were strung the kids started to hang the ornaments. Elliot lifted them up when they wanted to put something up high. Lizzie and Dickie were dancing and singing to their favorite Christmas album and Olivia couldn't believe just how comfortable and happy she felt being her with them.

When all the ornaments were on the tree, they stepped back to admire their handy work. Kathleen looked at her Dad and he nodded so that she would flip the switch to turn the lights on.

The tree lit up the entire room as the stood to stare at it. It was absolutely beautiful, and it made Olivia want to cry. After all, this was the first Christmas tree she had ever helped decorate and now she was beginning to understand why people loved Christmas so much.

While they were decorating the tree it had begun to snow, they were so wrapped up in decorating they didn't realize how hard it was really coming down. A little while after they finished, Olivia looked out the window and was shocked to see how much snow had accumulated on the ground and how much was still coming down.

"Oh wow…" She said laughing as she looked at her car, which was covered in snow.

Elliot turned to look where she was looking. "How did we miss the snow coming down…"

"I guess we were a little preoccupied." Olivia said laughing as she walked to get her coat. "I should leave now before it gets any worse."

Maureen tugged at her Dads arm. "Dad…I don't think Olivia should be driving in this. Her apartment is kind of far away…"

Olivia smiled at Maureen. "Oh don't worry Maureen…I'll be fine. I'll go slow."  
>Elliot shook his head. "No. I agree with Maureen. You shouldn't drive in this…" He paused and looked nervously at her. "Why don't you just…spend the night here?"<p>

Maureen smirked. "Yeah that's definitely a good idea."

Olivia felt her heart skip a beat. "Stay over? Oh…I mean…well that's very sweet of you guys to offer but I don't have anything here and-"

Elliot shrugged. "You can borrow some of my sweat pants. You've worn them before at work…and I'll give you a sweatshirt or something. And I'm sure we have an extra toothbrush in the linen closet upstairs. It would really be no trouble at all…and I'd feel much better if you did so you wouldn't be trying to drive in this."

Olivia stared at him for a moment, trying to judge just how concerned he was. There was something in his eyes that she hadn't' seen before, at least not towards her. He was looking at her like he often looked at his kids…like he would do anything to protect them.

She felt the blush growing in her cheeks again as she smiled. "Well…alright. If you really don't mind…"

Elliot shook his head. "I don't mind at all."

"Well then it's settled." Maureen said smiling. "I'll go get some blankets and stuff for you to sleep on the couch Liv." She said happily going upstairs, things were turning out even better than she could have hoped for.

Olivia put her coat back on the coat rack and turned back to Elliot, who was staring at her nervously. "You can sleep in my bed if you want…I don't mind taking the couch."

She shook her head. "Oh no…no that's okay. The couch is perfect."

Elliot nodded and started to walk towards the stairs. "I'll uh…I'll go get some stuff for you to sleep in and then I'll put the twins to bed. I'll be back in a bit okay? Make yourself at home…"

Olivia smiled at him. "Thanks."

Elliot smiled and walked upstairs, she said goodnight to the kids and went over to the couch to sit down. She slipped her shoes off and pulled her legs up against her chest as she admired the tree.

She was definitely beginning to feel the magic of Christmas…

**_TBC_**

* * *

><p><strong>The to leave you hanging but I had to end it somewhere. The next chapter will be when Olivia stays over. Don't let your mind go to a dirty place...thats not going to happen. AT LEAST NOT YET ;) <strong> 


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really glad that you all seem to be so interested in this story! I hope you continue to like it! **

* * *

><p>Olivia was sitting on the couch when Elliot came back down stairs carrying clothes for her to change into. He had already changed into sweats as he handed her the clothes.<p>

"Thanks." Olivia said. "Kids all in bed?"

Elliot nodded. "Dickie and Lizzie are fast asleep and Maureen and Kathleen are reading a bit before they go to sleep."

Olivia nodded as he sat down beside her. "If the snow keeps up…they may not have school tomorrow."

Elliot looked out the window and saw the snow continuing to accumulate. "Yeah its pretty bad out there. I'm glad you are staying…I wouldn't have felt comfortable with you driving in this."

Olivia smiled at him. "I'm sure I would have made it home if I went slow…"

Elliot turned back to her. "Still…this seems like a better choice. This way I know you are safe." He said softly.

Olivia blushed at his concern, the phone rang and he stood up to answer it. Olivia stood up and walked to the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later she walked back into the living room wearing his baggy sweat pants and NYPD sweatshirt. She had to pull the drawstring as tight as it could go on the pants so that they wouldn't fall down. She still held onto them just in case though…

Elliot smiled at her; he was still on the phone. "Alright Ma. Yeah you stay there, I'll try and pick you up in the morning okay? Yeah. Stay warm. Call if you need anything."

He hung up the phone as Olivia sat back down on the couch. "Is your Mom okay?"

Elliot nodded. "Yeah. She's with her friend Andrea they'll be fine. I'll go over tomorrow to pick her up so she doesn't have to drive in the snow."

Olivia nodded. "Good."

"Are you hungry or anything?" Elliot asked, standing in front of her.

Olivia shook her head. "No. I'm alright."

Elliot looked at the tree and rubbed the back of his neck. "I think I have some wine or beer…"

Olivia smiled. "Wine would be good."

He nodded. "Is red okay?" Olivia nodded and he smiled before walking into the kitchen.

Olivia inhaled deeply; she was wondering where this evening was going. She didn't expect anything to happen especially with his kids in the house. They had of course spent many nights together at the precinct working late. However, this was different…they were at Elliot's house sharing some wine and she was dressed in his clothes. This was very different…

Elliot came back in and handed her a glass of wine. "Here you go."

She smiled up at him as he sat down beside her. "Thanks."

Elliot watched her take a sip. "Can I ask you something? It's kind of personal and you don't have to answer if you don't want too…"

Olivia curled her legs up under her on the couch. "Sure. What's on your mind?"

Elliot leaned back and took a sip of his drink. "You were talking before about how you've never had a Christmas tree because you never celebrated it. I mean…we've talked about your Mom before but does that bother you?"

Olivia smiled and took another sip of her drink before answering. "Sure it does. But…I can't change the way I was raised Elliot. I can't change the fact that my Mom hated me…she had legitimate reasons. I can't say that I don't wish things were different…that I wish I had a better relationship with her or that I got to do all the things that normal kids did. But that's in the past…I guess I don't want to spend my time dwelling on it ya know? It won't do me any good…"

Elliot considered her answer again before taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah I guess you're right. But sometimes it's just easy to continue to be angry…I felt that way about my parents sometimes."

Olivia nodded. "It definitely is easier."

"For everything you've been through…" He shook his head and smiled. "You turned out pretty damn well."

Olivia laughed. "Well thanks. I've tried my best…made a few slip ups along the way but I guess I don't have anything to really complain about. Things could be worse…"

Elliot nodded. "But they could be better?"

She shrugged. "Sure. Things could always be better. I mean like I said before I'd like to be in a relationship but…I'm not. And for right now I guess I'm okay with that."

Elliot nodded and looked over at the Christmas tree. "You know…when Kathy left I remember thinking I never wanted to be in another relationship. It wasn't that I still loved her…we fell out of love a long time ago. But we stayed together because it was easy…I don't like dealing with feelings and stuff. Getting involved with someone else would just complicate things…especially with the kids."

"You don't want them to get hurt again." Olivia said softly.

Elliot turned back to her and smiled. "Exactly. They were devastated when Kathy left…I just don't want them to get their hopes up again. I don't want them to get attached to someone only to have me ruin the relationship. They would lose a Mom all over again…"

"Well who says you would be the one to ruin the relationship?" Olivia asked curiously.

Elliot laughed. "Oh come on Liv…you've known me long enough to know I usually screw things up."

Olivia looked down at her glass and thought about her question before asking it. "So does that mean you think it's your fault that Kathy left?"

Elliot sighed and nodded his head. "Yeah. I do."

"Because you work a lot?" Olivia asked, he nodded. "Elliot…yeah you work a lot but you know that isn't the only reason she left. You may never know what all her reasons were but it wasn't all your fault."

Elliot shrugged. "You seem so sure of that…how do you know?"

Olivia smiled at him. "Because I saw you try and fix your marriage. You went to counseling, you took time off of work to try and make things better. She could have tried to El…but she didn't."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah maybe…"

"If Kathy hadn't left…do you think you would still be together?" Olivia asked nervously.

Elliot considered her question for a moment before answering. "I think I would have stayed with her…for the kids."

"Elliot you see couples that shouldn't be together end up in really bad situations everyday." Elliot raised his eyebrow but she continued. "I'm not saying that you would let it get that far…but how could you justify staying with someone that you weren't in love with if you were both miserable?"

Elliot laughed. "I don't know…"

"I know you love your kids…" Olivia whispered. "But staying with Kathy just for their sake…it doesn't seem fair. Not to you and Kathy…and not really for them either."

Elliot nodded. "I know…"

Olivia stared at him for a moment before smiling. "You're a great guy El…and an amazing father. But you can't do it all on your own. If you wanted to date again…I think it could be a good thing. And I think the kids would be okay with it if they knew it would make you happy…"

Elliot stared at her, finally taking in her appearance. She was wearing his clothes, and he had to admit it was quite a turn on. She looked so perfect, and all he wanted to do was taker her in his arms and admit his feelings to her. Here they were in the middle of a snow storm, drinking wine and talking about him dating again and the only person he could ever date would be her…

"I guess I just want to make sure that there is a definite connection…a future with a woman before I introduce them to my kids." Elliot said turning away from her, he was afraid she would see through him and realize how he felt about her.

Olivia licked her lips. "That makes sense…"

Elliot looked down at his glass, finding it easier to look at it then to stare at her when she looked so beautiful. "What about you? Have you ever been in love?"

Olivia felt her heart beating fast in her chest; of course she had been in love. She was sitting next to the man she loved more than anything but she couldn't' tell him that.

"Yeah I have." She said taking a sip of her wine. "In college…"

Elliot turned to look at her curiously. "What was he like?"

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes. "Uh…his name was Aaron Clark. He was a year older than me…we met in a psych class. He was very funny…that was what attracted me to him the most"

Elliot nodded. "How long did you guys date?"

She placed her glass on the table beside her and smiled. "Two and a half years…"

Elliot turned his body towards her more. "If you loved him…why did you break up?"

Olivia sighed, the smile faded from her face slowly. "The night of his graduation he was out celebrating with his friends. He was supposed to meet me at my apartment…but he got into a car accident. He broke his back…they put him on all sorts of pain medication and he had to have surgery."

"Wow…what happened to him?" Elliot asked.

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment. "He uh…he didn't handle it well. He was able to walk again but the told him he wouldn't be as athletically able as he had once been. He was a runner…and it killed him to know he wouldn't be able to do that again. He got really depressed…and he became addicted to the pain medication they gave him."

Elliot frowned. "Liv…"

She turned towards him and smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. "I loved him a lot…and it killed me to have to leave him but I couldn't take it anymore. He was angry all the time…he lost all his humor. He became closed off and he pushed me away…I had to leave even though I knew it would only make things worse for him."

"That must have been hard." Elliot whispered. "Did you ever talk to him again?"

Olivia shook his head. "No. But I ran into his sister a few years back…she said Aaron had moved to California for a few years and his drug addiction became worse. He came home eventually and his family forced him into rehab…but it didn't seem to work. I felt ridiculously guilty…"

"It wasn't your fault." Elliot said honestly. "You didn't cause the accident or for him to become addicted to drugs…you had to take care of yourself Liv."

She smiled. "I know that. But…I still wonder what would have happened if I had stayed. I wonder if I could have saved him…"

"Some people can't be saved Olivia…" Elliot said gently.

"But some people can." She said pulling her legs up against her chest and leaning her head on her knees. "It's just…complicated I guess. I haven't had a really substantial relationship since then...I guess I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Elliot sighed and leaned his head against the back of the couch. "It's weird…they say love is the most beautiful thing in the world and it can be. But sometimes…it's a real bitch. And it hurts like hell…"

Olivia laughed and picked up her glass again. "You got that right…"

Elliot turned to look at Olivia again, her cheeks were flushed from the wine. She looked so incredibly perfect, all he wanted to do was lean forward and capture her supple lips but he couldn't. This was going to be harder than he thought…

Elliot was so wrapped up in watching Olivia he didn't hear the creak of the stairs where Maureen was anxiously watching her father and Olivia.

Kathleen came paddling down the hallway and rubbed her eyes before whispering to her sister. "What are you doing?"

Maureen jumped and quietly climbed the few steps to Kathleen and pulled her into her room. "Shh…"

Kathleen pulled her arm away and stared at her older sister. "Geez. What's going on with you Maureen?"

Maureen peeked her head out the door to make sure that Elliot hadn't heard them and come to check to see if they were okay. She sighed with relief when she heard laughter coming form downstairs before turning back to her sister.

"I wasn't doing anything…what are you doing out of bed?" Maureen asked.

Kathleen sat down on the edge of Maureen's bed and yawned. "I had to pee. What are you doing out of bed? And why were you spying on Dad and Olivia?"

Maureen sighed and sat next to her. "If I tell you…you have to promise not to tell anyone else. Can you do that?"

Kathleen stared at her sister suspiciously before nodding her head. "Sure. What's going on?"

Maureen smiled. "Well…I'm trying to get Dad and Olivia together before Christmas."

Kathleen thought about what she said for a minute before responding. "Together? You mean like in a relationship?"

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Yeah. What else would I mean?"

Kathleen pulled her legs up on the couch and thought about what her sister was saying. "But what about Mom?"

Maureen knew that it was still difficult for her younger siblings to understand that Kathy wasn't coming back so she tried to be as understanding as possible. "Kathleen…you know Mom and Dad got divorced. And Mom hasn't called us since she left…she's not coming back."

Kathleen sighed and turned to her sister. "Why do you think she left?"

Maureen shrugged. "I don't know. But…we can't wait around for her to change her mind. Dad deserves to find someone knew don't you think?"

Kathleen nodded. "Yeah I guess so…"

"And if he does start dating, don't' you want him to be with someone who really cares about him? Someone who wouldn't hurt him?" Maureen asked.

"Well sure but I still don't-" She started.

"Who better to date Dad than Olivia? She clearly cares about him and us. I think she would be the perfect person for him to be with." Maureen said.

Kathleen smiled. "I do really like Olivia. She's a lot of fun and she's been great to us, especially since Mom left."

"Exactly!" Maureen said smiling from ear to ear. "See this is why I've been inviting her to everything lately. I want to put her with Dad as much as possible so they both realize how good they could be together. And if I'm being honest…I think my plan is really starting to work."

Kathleen considered what she was saying for a second. "They have seemed a lot closer lately…"

"See? And this snow storm just made things ten times better for me. They are downstairs right now sitting together on the couch drinking wine." Maureen said happily. "How romantic right?"

Kathleen stood up and began to pace the room. "I think that Olivia cares about Dad…but does he love her?"

Maureen nodded. "Yes. Definitely."

"How can you be so sure?" Kathleen asked. "I mean don't get me wrong…I really like Olivia and I'd love it if she married Dad. But I don't want her to get hurt either if he doesn't really care about her…"

Maureen smiled and stood up. "Come with me…and be as quiet as you can."

Kathleen stared curiously after her sister as she pulled her out of the bedroom and out into the hallway. They crept down the first few stairs so they could spy on Elliot and Olivia again over the wall.

"Look at the way he stares at her…" Maureen whispered in her sisters ear.

Kathleen turned from Kathleen to the couch where her Dad and Olivia were talking together. Every time Olivia started to laugh, she would close her eyes and toss her head back a little. Elliot would watch her so intensely, it was very clear that he was in love with her. Even at her young age she could see that there was a connection there…he never even looked at their Mom like that.

"Do you see it?" Maureen asked. "Do you see how much he loves her?"

"Yeah I do…" Kathleen said back, she couldn't help but smile.

Maureen took her sisters arm again and led her back to her bedroom. Kathleen sat back down on her sister's bed and thought about what she had just seen. Her Dad worked a lot and it was hard to see him so stressed out. It had been a long time since she had seen him smile the way she saw him smile when he was with Olivia.

Maureen could tell that Kathleen could see the connection between their Dad and Olivia. But she also knew that it was probably hard for her to come to terms with the fact that their Mom was never coming back.

"What are you thinking?" Maureen asked sitting down next to her.

Kathleen sighed. "I think…that this could work and I would really like it if Olivia and Dad got married. So…what can I do to help?"

Maureen couldn't stop smiling as she pulled her sister in for a hug; things were finally starting to fall into place.

* * *

><p>Elliot and Olivia were up for most of the night talking about everything and anything. After a few glasses of wine they eventually fell asleep. Somehow in the middle of the night while they were sleeping, they shifted and Olivia ended up lying against Elliot, and he had his arm wrapped around her.<p>

Dickie and Lizzie woke up to a few feet of snow outside their window. They were excited and hoping that school was cancelled so they ran downstairs to see if Elliot had heard anything.

Lizzie pulled on her brother's arm when she noticed that Elliot and Olivia were asleep on the couch. "Dickie look…"

Dickie looked over at the couch and cocked his head to the side staring at them curiously. "Are they asleep?"

Lizzie nodded. "Yeah. But why are they sleeping on the couch together?"

Dickie shrugged and walked over to the couch, he stared down at his father and Olivia for a moment before tapping Olivia on the shoulder. "Liv?"

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, and she looked over to see Elliot's son. She looked down and realized she was asleep on Elliot, it took her a minute to remember where she was.

She sat up quickly and nudged Elliot hoping he would wake up. "Elliot. Wake up."

Elliot opened his eyes slowly and saw Olivia sitting over him and his son beside him. "What the-?"

Dickie looked to Olivia. "How come you guys were asleep together?"

Olivai swallowed hard, her cheeks turning red quick as Elliot sat up. "Oh…well…we…I…"

Elliot swung his legs over the side of the couch and smiled at his son. "We fell asleep little buddy."

"Yeah but why were you both on the couch? Why didn't you just go upstairs to go to bed?" Dickie asked his father curiously.

Elliot looked at Olivia who looked extremely nervous. "You've fallen asleep on the couch before…right?"

Elliot didn't know how to explain this to his son, even though nothing had happened it was still a strange situation to explain to a six year old.

Dickie nodded slowly. "Yeah I guess."

"It just happened." Elliot said smiling before standing up and walking to the window. "Well that's a lot of snow…"

Olivia was still sitting on the couch, trying to come to terms with the fact that she had fallen asleep in Elliot's arms. It was one thing to be staying at his house, to be wearing his clothes and to share a few glasses of wine. But now they had slept together…wrapped in each other's arms.

They couldn't obviously talk about it because his kids were there. She was embarrassed that his kids had found them that way and she also didn't know what it meant. She was trying to follows Elliot's lead though…

"Dad can you check the news to see if we have school today?" Dickie asked as his sister came over to stand beside him.

Elliot turned to look at Olivia who still looked confused about the situation, as was he. He turned towards the TV and flipped it on, changing it the channel to find out about any school cancellations.

"Do you see our school?" Lizzie asked hopefully.

Elliot watched the schools scroll across the bottom of the screen before smiling. "Yup. You guys officially have a snow day."

"Yes!" Dickei and Lizzie said jumping up and down.

"Dad can you stay home too?" Lizzie asked her father.

Elliot looked at Olivia who had stood up from the couch and was folding up the blankets on the couch. "Yeah…let me call Cragen and see if that's okay. Then we can make some breakfast for us all. Why don't you go tell your sisters school is cancelled okay?"

Dickie and Lizzie quickly ran to the stairs leaving Olivia and Elliot alone. Elliot picked up one of the blankets and started to fold it, watching Olivia's nervous movements.

"Uh…sorry about that." He whispered softly, not really sure what he should say in this situation.

Olivia looked at him quickly and smiled. "It's fine. I guess I'm just not used to being woken up by kids…"

"Or falling asleep on top of me…" He whispered.

Olivia grimaced and turned away from him to pick up their wine glasses form the night before. "Yeah…about that I'm so sor-"

"You don't have to apologize." Elliot said following her into the kitchen. "It wasn't just you…we both fell asleep. Its okay…"

Olivia put their glasses in the sink and turned to him. "You don't think…the kids will get the wrong impression do you?"

Elliot leaned against the counter. "Uh…I don't know really. Kids can be more observant than we think."

She squinted at him, confused by his statement. "What does that mean?"

Elliot quickly regretted his word choice but had no time to respond as all four of his kids came into the kitchen. "No school!" Kathleen said happily.

He turned towards the four of them. "No school!"

"Did you call Captain Cragen?" Dickie asked. "Do you get to stay home with us?"

Elliot shook his head. "No. Let me go do that now…" He looked at Olivia quickly before walking out of the kitchen.

"How did you sleep?" Maureen asked with a smirk.

"Oh she looked like she slept well. She slept with Daddy." Lizzie said climbing up on the stool at the counter.

Olivia's eyes bulged in her head at the word choice, she knew that Lizzie wasn't aware of what her words implied. "What? No. I-we didn't-we fell asleep and I-"

Maureen laughed and walked over to the fridge to get something to drink. "You're blushing…"

Olivia put a hand on her cheek and she swallowed hard. "I am?"

Maureen nodded and took out a glass to pour some orange juice. "Yep. You should relax…it's fine. We all fall asleep on the couch from time to time…" She said giggling as she walked by her.

Olivia watched Maureen walk over to the counter and sit down beside her siblings. They were all staring at her and she suddenly felt like she was back in High School giving a presentation in front of a class. She couldn't' think of anything to say, Elliot's words were still ringing in her head and she couldn't figure out what he had meant.

And now all four of his children were looking at her, waiting for her to say something. She opened her mouth to try and explain the situation but Elliot walked in with a big smile on his face.

"Good news guys. Cragen says Olivia and I can have a snow day too." He said happily.

"Oh good. That means Olivia can stay and hang out with us for the rest of the day." Maureen said happily.

Kathleen smiled at her sister. "Yeah I mean…they still haven't plowed the streets yet and Olivia's car is covered in snow. She'll have to stay until its safe for her to leave. Right Dad?"

Elliot turned to look at Olivia who still looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Yeah…I guess so. Are you okay with that Liv?"

Olivia turned towards him and found that she couldn't find her voice anymore. So instead she just nodded her head and smiled, still trying to sort through her emotions.

* * *

><p>Three hours later, Olivia had taken a shower and changed into her clothes from the day before. She walked downstairs and saw Elliot standing by the window staring at the kids who were outside building a snowman.<p>

Elliot turned and saw her walking towards him, her hair was still wet and she had no make up on but she still looked beautiful. "I have a feeling they are going to be out there until the sun goes down…"

Olivia smiled. "There is nothing like a snow day…"

Elliot nodded and watched her smile while she watched his kids play. "Hey…so are we okay?"

Olivia licked her lips and turned towards him. "Yeah…yeah we're fine."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I uh…I'm sorry if the kids made you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes they don't know their boundaries…"

She shook her head. "No. It's alright…like I said its just not something I'm used to I guess. I'm sorry if _I_made you feel uncomfortable with the situation. I mean its not like anything happened…"

Elliot nodded. "Right." He looked out the window again and watched his kids. "I think…maybe they just like having a mother figure around again. I know you've been doing a lot for us lately and I really appreciate it. I don't want you to feel pressured or like you feel like you have to be here for them…You can be honest with me."

Olivia smiled and looked over at him. "El I don't' feel pressured…I love helping you out with the kids. I'll do whatever I can…I guess I just don't want them to get the wrong idea. I mean…" She paused and looked back out the window. "We're just friends right?"

Elliot let her words sink in for a moment, he wondered if she wanted to be just friends or if she wanted more. He wondered if she was saying that because she thought he didn't want more. He did want more, but he was too afraid to peruse those feelings.

Even though his kids had woken them up he had a confession to make. He had woken up in the middle of the night and saw that Olivia had fallen asleep on him. He could have gone upstairs but he didn't want too so he put his arm around her and pulled her closer. The feeling of her snuggling into him was so amazing, he wished he could sleep that way every night.

He couldn't say that though. He couldn't risk losing her in his life. She meant to much to him to change their relationship so instead he pretended that they were in fact just friends.

"Right. We're just friends…" Elliot said looking back out the window.

Olivia couldn't deny the fact that his words cut through her like a knife. A small part of her was hoping he would laugh and say they would always be more than friends…especially after what he had said in the kitchen. But she knew he was doing the same thing she was doing…trying to protect his heart.

So she smiled and pretended to be okay with it. "Okay then…"

They stood side by side watching the kids play outside in the snow. What they didn't know was that they were both thinking the same thing…how nice it would be if they could do this everyday.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys liked it :) I'll try and update again tomorrow but it may not be until Thursday. Depends on how much of my homework I get done. Send in a review and I'll be more likely to update tomorrow! <strong> 


	4. Chapter 4

**As promised I am updating because you all reviewed so enthusiastically! I hope you like the new chapter :) **

* * *

><p>That Friday, Olivia was sitting at the precinct filling out some paperwork. She had barely slept since she stayed the night at Elliot's. Her mind was on overdrive trying to sort through all of her emotions. The annoying voice in the back of her head kept trying to tell her she couldn't sleep because now she knew how good it felt to sleep in Elliot's arms…she'd never be able to sleep anyway.<p>

She had spent the entire snow day with Elliot and his kids making a snow man, watching movies and drinking large amounts of hot chocolate. Finally she pulled herself back into reality and Elliot helped her dig out her car from the large pile of snow in his driveway. After an awkward goodbye in which Elliot tried to hug her and she nearly jumped a foot in the air, she drove home through the slick roads to her apartment.

He had of course texted her to make sure she was all right when she got home. But since then, she had been trying to keep herself busy at work. She was so consumed in her paperwork she didn't see Alex standing beside her desk until she felt the tap on her shoulder.

Olivia looked up and smiled at her. "Oh. Hey Alex. What's up?"

"I've been here for almost five minutes and you didn't notice me." Alex said laughing. "What's going on with you?"

Olivia shook her head and looked back at her paperwork. "Nothing. Just busy."

Alex took Elliot's desk chair and pulled it up beside Olivia and sat down. "I thought you would want to know that we won the case. Rachel got her justice and Michael is going to live the rest of his life rotting in a jail cell."

Olivia smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

Alex watched her look back at her desk again, her face was pale and she had bags under her eyes. She looked completely frazzled as she filled out the files, her leg was tapping nervously under her desk. Alex looked over at Elliot's empty desk and then turned back to Olivia.

"Where's Stabler?" She asked curiously.

Olivia looked up quickly and then back at her work. "Lizzie was running a fever so the school called him to come pick her up."

Alex nodded slowly. "Oh." Olivia didn't seem to want to talk but Alex could tell something was going on. "So…I heard you spent the night at Elliot's during the storm…"

Olivia's heart dropped to her stomach as she looked at her quickly. "Who told you that?"

Alex smirked. "I guess Elliot told Fin, who told Munch who obviously told me."

Olivia rolled her eyes and put her pen down feeling extremely agitated. "Why does everyone around here have such big mouths?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. But why does it matter? It's not like anything happened right?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. Of course not. His kids invited me to help pick out their Christmas tree and decorate it. By the time we were done, the storm was too bad for me to drive in so Elliot let me stay over. No big deal…"

Alex narrowed her eyes at her friend, trying to read her face. "If nothing happened then why are you so squirmy?"

"I am not squirmy." Olivia said looking back at her paperwork. "I'm just tired…"

"Did you get any sleep at Elliot's house?" She asked smirking even more.

Olivia glared at Alex and stood up to go get a cup of coffee. "Yes. I slept."

Alex got up and followed her to the coffee pot. "And where exactly did you sleep?"

Olivia poured the coffee into a cup and added sugar and cream. "On the couch."

"And where did Elliot sleep?" Alex asked leaning against the table that the coffee pot sat on.

Olivia took a nervous sip of her coffee. "Um…well we were up talking late and he…he sort of fell asleep on the couch too."

Alex's eyes widened as she leaned in closer to Olivia. "Wait…what? I thought you said nothing happened!"

Olivia glared at her, she had spoken pretty loud and the other people in the office were looking at them. "Nothing did happen. And would you keep your voice down?"

Alex shook her head and whispered. "You're telling me you two slept on the same couch and nothing happened?"

Olivia sighed. "No! Nothing happened…we just fell asleep. That's it okay?"

Alex looked around the office and then grabbed Olivia's arm and practically dragged her into an open interrogation room. "Park it…"

Olivia stared at her. "What are you doing?"

"Sit." Alex said again sitting on the other side of the table. "We need to talk. This is big."

Olivia rolled her eyes and sat down in the empty seat. "I don't see how it's a big deal. I stayed so I wouldn't have to drive in the snow and we fell asleep…end of story."

Alex leaned her arms on the table and stared at her. "Okay but how exactly were you sleeping?"

"What does that mean?" Olivia asked knowing very well where she was going with this but wanting nothing more than to run out of the room to avoid the conversation at all costs.

Alex smiled. "You know…how were you positioned?"

Olivia began to squirm again; she couldn't look Alex in the eyes. "I…I mean I don't remember how we fell asleep exactly…like in what position."

Alex leaned in more. "Okay then how did you wake up?"

Olivia swallowed hard and looked down at her hands that were folded on the table. "Uh…Elliot was lying down on the couch and I was sort of…" She closed her eyes and felt her heart beating faster. "I was sort of on top of him…and he had his arm wrapped around me."

Alex's face lit up. "You were sort of on top of him?"

Olivia opened her eyes and glared at her. "Yes. Yes I woke up on top of him okay? And what makes it worse was that Dickie and Lizzie caught us!"

Alex started laughing as she leaned back in her chair. "Oh this is too good."

Olivia sighed and stood up. "How is this good?"

"Because! The two of you are so perfect together it's actually quite sickening." Alex said crossing her arms over her chest.

Olivia shook her head. "Why would you say that? Elliot and I are just friends. He has a family…he has kids. Me and Elliot getting together…it can never and will never happen."

"You can't tell me that you don't have feelings for him." She said rolling her eyes.

Olivia leaned against the wall and kicked nervously at the ground. "Of course I care about Elliot…we've been partners for a long time but-"

Alex stood up and cut her off. "No. I don't mean friendly feelings…you have romantic feelings for him. Don't you?"

Olivia considered her question for a moment before looking up at her nervously. "Yes. Of course I do. But it doesn't matter Alex…it will never happen."

"Why not?" Alex said rolling her eyes. "I mean he's officially divorced now isn't he? Kathy isn't coming back and it's obvious that he cares about you too, and his kids adore you!"

Olivia shook her head. "No. Elliot doesn't see me that way…he said it himself…he said we were just friends. That's all…"

"When did he say that? Did you say it first?" Alex asked.

Olivia ran a hand through her brown locks and nodded. "Yeah. We were talking…about how the kids had found us on the couch. It was awkward and neither of us knew what to say. I told him I didn't want his kids to get the wrong impression, you know because they were so hurt when Kathy left. I said we were just friends so it didn't matter and he agreed…"

Alex nodded. "Well of course he said it if you did! He was probably to scared to say how he truly felt because he didn't think you felt the same way."

Olivia shook her head. "No. No way Elliot thinks of me that way Alex…no way."

Alex stared at her for a moment, feeling very frustrated by how naive Olivia was being. "Why not? Why is it so strange to think that Elliot would care about you that way?"

Olivia sat back down at the table again and sighed. "Because…I'm so...and he's just…" She laughed and put her arms on the table before resting her head on them. "I don't know…"

Alex sat back down and reached over to touch Olivia's arm. "Olivia look at me."

It took her a moment but she finally lifted her head and said with a frown. "What?"

"For as long as I've known you…you've thought you aren't good enough to be loved by anyone. And I gotta tell you…that's a bunch of crap." She said smirking.

Olivia laughed. "Oh come on…"

Alex shook her head and pressed on. "No, I'm serious Olivia. You are a beautiful woman who is smart and funny, you are brave and determined and you are one of the kindest people I know. Any guy would be lucky to have you and Elliot knows that…he knows how special you are. He sees how amazing you are with his kids and how great you've been to him through this whole divorce. If he didn't care about you before which I'm pretty sure he did…he definitely cares about you now."

Olivia swallowed hard and stared at her friend for a moment. "Alex of course I'm in love with him…I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember. But I just…" She shook her head sadly. "I don't want to lose him as a friend. I'm not good at relationships so I'm not going to pursue something I know I'll screw up. And most importantly…I don't want to be just a rebound."

"First of all you won't screw it up if you guys are meant to be together. And secondly…you would never and could never be just a rebound. Elliot's not that kind of guy anyway…" Alex said shaking her head. "I think more than anything he's afraid to get hurt too and he doesn't want the kids to get attached to someone and lose them again. He wouldn't want to spend time with you if he didn't see something there…"

Olivia stood up and shook her head. "Look…I appreciate what you are trying to do Alex but I just don't see it. I'm really tired though…I think I'm going to head home and try and get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow…"

Alex watched her walk towards the door before she stopped her. "Won't you regret it ten years from now if you never even gave it a chance?"

Olivia turned to look at her and frowned sadly. "Of course I will. But I'd rather regret it and have him in my life than be heart broken and without him at all."

With that said, Olivia exited the room and went to grab her stuff. She drove to her favorite Chinese restaurant, got some take out and then went back to her apartment. She was watching a re-run of FRIENDS when her cell phone rang, her heart skipped a beat when she saw Elliot's name on the front of her phone.

She flipped it open nervously. "Hello?"

"Liv? God I'm so glad you answered." Elliot said in a slightly panicked voice.

Olivia put the Chinese food box down on the coffee table and sat up straight. "Elliot? What's wrong…is it Lizzie? Is she really sick?"

"No. It's Maureen. She never came home from school. I called the school and they said they saw her get on the bus but she didn't get off here. None of her friends have seen her either. I'm starting to panic. My Mom is with the other kids at my house but I've been driving around for almost two hours looking for her and I can't find her anywhere!" Elliot yelled into the phone.

Olivia quickly jumped up and desperately searched for her keys and coat that she had thrown on the couch when she got home. "Okay. Okay calm down Elliot. I will go out and look for her right now. We will find her."

"This isn't like her." Elliot said exasperatedly. "She wouldn't just not come home…she knows how much I worry anyway."

"Elliot don't let your head wander to that dark place just yet okay? We are going to find her. But you shouldn't be talking on the phone right now. Let me meet you somewhere and we can look together." Olivia said.

"Okay. Okay. Uh…meet me at the precinct and we'll go from there?" Elliot asked.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." She said finally locating her keys and coat. "And El?"

"Yeah?" He whispered into the phone.

"She's okay. Everything is going to be okay…" She said as she walked towards her door.

"Thanks Liv…" He said before hanging up the phone.

Olivia put her phone in her pocket and went to whip open her apartment door, she was so nervous thinking about Maureen that she jumped when she realized someone was standing in her doorway. It took her a moment to take in the person's appearance, but she finally let the blonde hair and blue eyes register.

"Maureen?" Olivia asked.

Maureen's eyes were red and puffy, she had tear marks running down her cheeks and her hair was all jumbled. "I'm sorry to just show up like this but I didn't know where else to go…"

Olivia quickly pulled the girl into her apartment and stared at her for a moment. "Maureen where have you been? Your Dad just called me freaking out! He's out searching for you right now. Are you okay? Did something happen…did someone atta-"

"No." Maureen said shaking her head and rubbing her eyes. "No nothing like that…"

Olivia sighed and led her over to the couch. "Maureen come here…what the hell is going on? You scared your Dad half to death! I need to call him right now."

She went to take her phone out of her pocket but Maureen's words stopped her. "I was on the bus and all my friends were talking about this Mother daughter party my friend Megan is throwing. They didn't think I was listening but I was…they didn't tell me about it because they know I don't have a Mom. It's supposed to be a Christmas party for Mothers and their daughters…Megan has a huge house. They are going to bake cookies and wrap presents and all that. It sounds kind of dorky but I still got so mad…"

Olivia stopped reaching for her phone as she stared at the upset young girl. "Maureen…"

"I just…I feel so angry at my Mom for walking out on us like that! I mean how could she do that? I'm only thirteen but I feel like I've had to grow up so fast to help take care of everyone else. I know Dad and Grandma are doing the best they can but I still feel like there is too much pressure on me. I hate it. I hate her for leaving us. I can't do the things other girls do because I don't have a Mom!" Maureen said starting to cry again.

Olivia reached over and took her hand. "Maureen…you have every right to be upset with your Mom for what she did. No one expects you to be okay with it. But have you tried to talk to your Dad about how you feel?"

Maureen shook her head and wiped her tears away. "No. He's been so stressed out since she left I didn't want to add anything else to his plate. I've been trying to deal with everything on my own so he doesn't have to worry about me."

Olivia licked her lips and squeezed her hand. "Your Dad loves you very much Maureen. He would do anything for you but he can't read your mind. If he knew how you were feeling he would try and help you."

Maureen looked over at her. "I just want him to be happy Olivia…he isn't happy anymore. I thought if I took everything on that Mom used to do then he could be happy again but he isn't. And I hate that…"

Olivia knew that Elliot was still frantically searching for his daughter, but she also knew that Maureen needed her space. "Look…why don't I call your Dad and tell him that you are okay. And then if you want…you can stay here and we can talk about everything."

Maureen sniffled and looked over at her. "You'd let me stay?"

Olivia nodded. "Sure. If you are okay with that and your Dad is…you can stay and we can just hang out. You need a night off kid…"

Maureen smiled and wiped her tears away. "Okay…but don't tell him everything okay? Just say…just say I got in a fight with someone at school and I was upset."

Olivia nodded. "Sure. I can do that."

Maureen nodded and stood up. "Can I use your bathroom?"

Olivia nodded. "You know where it is."

Maureen smiled. "Thanks."

She waited until Maureen was gone before she took out her cell phone. She quickly dialed Elliot's number, it hadn't even gone through a full ring before he answered.

"Where are you?" Elliot asked. "I put my sirens on and raced here."

"Elliot, Maureen is here." Olivia said.

"What? What do you mean Maureen is here? Where are you?" He asked feeling very confused and still slightly freaked out.

"I was coming to meet you and when I opened the door, Maureen was there. She is at my apartment. She's okay." Olivia said quickly, afraid that he would interrupt her again.

Elliot sighed with relief. "She's with you? She's alright? But why is she there? What happened?"

"She said she had a bad day at school…got into a fight with one of her friends and she didn't feel like coming home. She's okay though…she's here." Olivia said.

"Alright. Well…I'll come and get her now and-" He started to stay.

"Actually…Maureen was wondering if she could stay here. I don't have a problem with it…I think she just needs to let off some steam." Olivia said.

"I…I mean are you okay with that? What's going on with her…maybe she needs to talk to me." Elliot said.

"I think…she may need a woman to talk to in this situation. You know how girls can be…if you aren't okay with her staying here I'll bring her home. But she's pretty upset…and she came here for a reason. I don't mind El…" She whispered.

He paused for a moment. "Okay. But can I talk to her for a minute?"

Olivia smiled "Sure. Let me get her." Maureen walked out of the bathroom and Olivia held the phone out to her. "Hey…your Dad wants to talk to you."

Maureen looked nervous but she took the phone from her. "Hey Dad…"

"Maureen? Honey…you scared the hell out of me. What were you thinking?" Elliot asked.

"I know Dad. I'm sorry. I was just really upset…is it okay if I stay here tonight?" Maureen asked. "I'm sorry Dad…I just…I need to talk to a girl about this stuff."

Elliot sighed. "Yes. It's okay…if Olivia is okay with it. I just…you have me worried kid."

"I'm alright Dad. Really I am…just…upset. I'll be fine though." She said.

Elliot was quiet for a moment. "I'll pick you up tomorrow okay? And you call me if you need absolutely anything. I'll be there in no time."

Maureen smiled. 'I know. I'll see you tomorrow Dad."

"Alright…I love you kid. You know that right?" Elliot asked softly.

"I know. And I love you too Dad." She said before handing the phone back to Olivia.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked. "She'll be okay here…don't worry."

Elliot sighed. "Once again you're saving me…"

Olivia smiled. "Elliot don't worry about it. It's no big deal…I'll get her some dinner and we'll just hang out. We'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you." Elliot said. "Thank you so much Olivia."

Olivia hung up the phone and went to join Maureen on the couch. "You want some Chinese food?"

Maureen smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

Olivia handed her a box and some chopsticks. "So…you want to talk about it some more?"

Maureen took a bite of some chicken and sighed. "I guess I just feel like an outcast. Ever since Mom left everyone has been treating us differently. I'm the girl whose Mom left…everyone pities me. It sucks…"

Olivia reached for some food and then leaned back on the couch. "When was the last time you talked to your Mom?"

Maureen poked around at the chicken and noodles in the box. "The day the divorce was finalized…it was about a year ago."

"Did you tell your Mom you were upset about her leaving?" Olivia asked.

Maureen shook her head. "I didn't know what to say…Lizzie and Dickie were crying. Kathleen wouldn't even meet with her and I just felt like I had to keep it all together for us all. And Dad…he was just so stressed out I didn't want to upset him."

"You have helped your Dad out so much since your Mom left Maureen. But if you let him know how you were feeling I think he would understand." Olivai said.

Maureen sniffled again and looked at her. "Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?" Olivia asked picking up some food with her chopsticks.

"I just…I really like hanging out with you." Maureen said. "I feel like I have a Mom again…and I don't want you to feel like I expect you to be there all the time. But…do you think…do you think we could hang out just the two of us every once and awhile?"

Olivia smiled at Elliot's oldest daughter. "Yeah…I think we could do that."

Maureen smiled and snuggled more into the couch. "Cool…"

Olivia smiled and they turned back to the TV, Olivia put on a Christmas movie and they spent most of the night talking and laughing like Mother and Daughter. Maureen leaned back on the couch and thought about how comfortable she felt being here with Olivia. None of this had been part of her plan…she really was upset because her friends were having a party she couldn't go too.

The first person she thought of when all this had happened was Olivia. She didn't know if she was even home but for some reason it seemed like the right place to go too. Sitting here with Olivia made her realize just how badly she wanted her plan to work. She wanted to be able to go home and have Olivia be there, she didn't want to have to come here to see her.

She wanted her to be part of their family. Officially anyway…

When Maureen finally started to fall asleep, Olivia got some blankets and covered her up. She smiled and smoothed her hair out of her face before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She walked back to her room, changed and brushed her teeth for bed. Then she went to her room and lay down. She thought about her day, about how Alex had tried to get her to see there was a connection between Elliot and her. And now his daughter was here because she liked spending time with her, it reminded her of a mother daughter bond. What if she was with Elliot? What if his family became her family? Could she be happy? Could she really have it all?

It was definitely something to think about…

* * *

><p>The next morning, Maureen was taking a shower and Olivia was putting together some breakfast for them. There was a knock on the door and Olivia went to answer it figuring it was Elliot.<p>

She was right; he was standing there with a small Christmas Tree smiling at her. "What the?"

Elliot chuckled. "I figured you were doing me a huge favor…I thought I could do something for you by bringing you your first every Christmas Tree."

Olivia smiled at him. "Aw…well thanks El. Come in."

Elliot smiled and brought the tree over to the corner of the living room. "How is she?"

Olivia looked over at the bathroom door. "She's better. I got her to talk about it a little which helped I think."

Elliot nodded and sat down on the couch. "That's good. I just…I was so worried about her. Not knowing where she was…it was the most terrifying feeling ever."

Olivia sat down beside him. "I know."

"Thank you for taking care of her. You didn't have too…but you did because you're so amazing." He said looking over at her with such passion in her eyes, it made her blush again.

Olivia swallowed hard and looked down. "Oh it was no big deal Elliot…really. You know I love Maureen…anything she needs I'll be here for her."

Elliot stared at her for a moment before looking back at the tree he brought for her. "Hey Liv…I've been thinking a lot about things and I-"

Maureen walked out of the bathroom and smiled when she saw her Dad. "Hey Daddy."

Elliot looked over at Maureen and stood up. "Hey honey." He stood up and walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug. "How are you?"

She hugged him back. "I'm better now that Olivia helped me."

"What's going on with you kid? You've never done anything like this before…you scared me." He said pulling her away.

"I know…I'm sorry." She said frowning before looking at Olivia. "Do you think we can talk about some stuff when we go home?"

Elliot smiled at her. "Of course."

Maureen smiled and walked over to Olivia. "Thank you for everything Liv."

Olivia smiled and hugged her. "You are welcome her anytime…but next time why don't you let your Dad know you are coming here first."

Maureen laughed. "I will." She turned back to her Dad. "I'll meet you in the car?"

Elliot nodded and watched her walk out of the apartment before he turned back to Olivia. "What were you saying before?" Olivia asked, feeling her heart pound in her chest wondering what exactly he wanted to say to her before Maureen interrupted them.

Elliot swallowed hard. "Oh…yeah I…"

He stared at her for a moment; she was so beautiful and so perfect. The thought that she had given up her night to take care of his daughter made him love her even more. All he had to do was admit his feelings to her and they could movement on to the next stage of their relationship.

But something stopped him…that fear that was always there stopped him. So he lied…once again.

He smiled softly. "I was just going to say…thanks for everything."

Olivia felt her heart sink at his words, she had been sure he was going to say something more. She had been sure this was the moment she had been waiting for when he would say he had feelings for her. She was starting to believe that Alex had been right and there was a future there for them.

But now she felt crushed…

"Oh…" She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to smile. "Yeah…no problem Elliot."

He walked closer to her and took in her appearance. "I just…don't know what I would do without you in my life."

She felt the tears burning in the back of her eyes. "The feeling is mutual Elliot…"

There was something in her voice that made him wonder if he was making the wrong choice. He wondered if he was ruining the opportune moment where he could take her in his arms and kiss her. But he let his stubbornness take the lead and he started to back away.

"I'm gonna take her home and spend the day with the kids. I won't be in work today…I already called Cragen so he knows." Elliot said shoving his hands in his pockets.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Right. No that makes sense. I'm sure you and Maureen have a lot to talk about."

He walked towards the apartment door and opened it. "Yeah I guess we do." He stared at her for a moment. "Thanks again…"

She nodded. "Anytime…"

Elliot smiled at her one last time before walking out of the apartment. When he was gone, Olivia sat down on the couch and let the tears fall. In her mind…if anything were to have happened between them it would have been in that moment. She knew now that he didn't feel the same…

Little did she know that Elliot was standing out in the hallway, trying to come to terms with that he had just done. He was thinking about the way that Olivia was looking at him as if she was expecting something more. How good would it have felt to take her into his arms and kiss her? Now he was pretty sure he would never know…

Sighing, he walked out of Olivia's apartment building and out to his car. He got into the drivers seat and smiled at his daughter.

"Everything okay?" Maureen asked.

Elliot nodded; he was trying to hide how confused he felt. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"Hey Dad?" Maureen asked softly.

Elliot started the car and pulled out of his parking spot. "Yeah kid?"

"I really like Olivia…and…" She paused for a moment. "I guess what I want to know…is if you care about Olivia…"

Elliot swallowed hard. "Uh…sure I do kid. She's a good friend of mine."

Maureen shook her head. "Yeah I know that…but what I really mean is do you have any romantic feelings for her?"

Elliot stopped at a red light. "Maureen…"

"I think it would be really cool if you and Olivia got together…" Maureen whispered, this wasn't part of her plan but she couldn't help it she had to know how her Dad felt. "I think you would be good together…"

Elliot licked his lips. "Maureen I know you probably want a Mom in your life…and I know you really like Olivia but I don't think it's going to happen."

Maureen sighed. "But why not Dad? I mean…I think that Olivia cares a lot about you. Why would she put up with me if she didn't care about you?"

"Maureen honey…you're young and you don't really understand the whole process of being in a relationship. Olivia and I have known each other for a very long time…its hard sometimes to go from friends to a couple." Elliot said, unsure what to say to his daughter.

"You know…this is the reason I went to talk to Olivia last night and not you." Maureen said shaking her head and laughing.

Elliot looked over at her as the light turned green. "What does that mean?"

"It means you are stubborn!" Maureen said smirking at him. "And you can't see what's right in front of you."

Elliot shook his head. "Maureen I really don't think that Olivia feels that way about me. We're just friends…"

"Haven't you always told me that Christmas is the time to go for the things you want?" Maureen asked.

"Well yes but-" He started.

"Then what are you waiting for Dad? Christmas will be here soon and you aren't being honest with yourself. Before you know it a new year will be here and you'll once again be doing everything for everyone but yourself." Maureen said.

Elliot sighed again. "Is this what you were talking to Olivia about?"

Maureen shook her head. "No."

He wanted to stop talking about this, he felt uncomfortable and nervous. "Well can we try and focus on one problem at a time please?"

Maureen sighed knowing very well she was fighting a losing battle. The only way she was going to get Elliot and Olivia together was if she did all the work herself. They were both to stubborn to finally do something that could make them both happy.

She sighed and let him drive back to their house. She was frustrated but she hadn't given up…after everything that Olivia had done for her the night before she was more determined than ever to find a way to get the two of them together. There had to be a way…

When they stopped at another stop light Maureen looked over at a store window. There was a big poster in the window of a couple kissing…under mistletoe.

And that's when the light bulb went off in her head. There was a simple way to force them to admit their feelings…and she knew exactly how to do it.

Now more than ever…she really appreciated the magic of Christmas! 

* * *

><p><strong>I will try and update tomorrow. Let me know what you think of the chapter by submitting a review! :) Thanks for the support! <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Sorry I didn't get to update yesterday, finals start for me next week so I've been pretty busy. But I took some time today to write the chapter 5! I hope you like it :) I'll try and update it as soon as I can! **

* * *

><p>By Monday, Elliot was extremely happy to be back at work. Maureen had been pestering him about Olivia all weekend and it was beginning to get hard to think of reasons not to ask her out. He walked into the precinct and wasn't at all surprised to see Olivia already there sitting at her desk and working hard.<p>

"Hey Olivia." He said smiling as he sat down at his desk.

She smiled at him. "Hey. How is Maureen?"

Elliot sighed happily and turned on his computer. "Well…we had a lot of things to talk about obviously. But she seems better…we agreed that she needed to take more of a kid role in the family. I've been putting to much responsibility on her shoulders and I need to understand that she is just a kid."

Olivia smiled. "I bet she feels better now that she has talked to you about it."

Elliot nodded. "Yeah. I think so. It helped that she got to talk to you about it first. I think it made her more comfortable in talking about it with me."

Olivia shrugged. "She was just nervous that she was going to hurt your feelings. You know how she is…"

Elliot laughed, thinking about how persistent Maureen was being about his relationship with Olivia. "Yeah…she's one of a kind."

Olivia smiled and turned back to her computer screen. She had spent most of the weekend trying to pretend that she didn't have feelings for Elliot. Obviously it wasn't working but she had to try a little harder. She had run into an old friend on Saturday night and he had asked her out on a date.

Her heart had told her that she should say no because her feelings were too strong for Elliot. But her head was screaming that she needed to move on because nothing was ever going to happen. So…she agreed to have dinner with him on Wednesday and even though she was nervous she thought it would be a good thing.

She needed to move on with her life; she couldn't wait around for Elliot anymore. It hurt too much to think about what could be when it was clear now that it would never happen.

Elliot watched her typing away at her computer. Her hair was up in a messy bun; a few strands were hanging down in her face. She had just a little bit of make up on that made her glow, and her outfit hugged her curves in all the right places.

He cleared his throat and began to speak again. "So…uh on Wednesday this kids and I are going to hang out and watch some Christmas movies. Kathleen and Lizzie want to make Christmas cookies too. It's their last day of school before break so we're celebrating, and I was wondering if you would want to come over and hang out with us?"

Olivia stopped typing and looked at him quickly and then back to her computer screen. "Oh…well that sounds fun. But I…actually have plans already."

Elliot felt his heart starting to beat fast. "Oh…well that's okay. I understand…but um…what are you doing if you don't mind me asking?"

Olivia licked her lips and stood up, picking up some paperwork to bring over to another coworker. "I actually have a date…"

Elliot forgot how to breathe for a second, he was sure his jaw had dropped and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "A date? Oh. Well…well that's good."

Olivia handed her paperwork to the detective across the room and then walked back to her desk. "Yeah. I think so. I mean…you said yourself that I should start dating. Right?"

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah…yeah I said that didn't I?"

Olivia tried to smile. "It's actually someone I used to go to school with. We ran into each other at the store on Saturday and got to talking…he said he had always had a crush on me when we were younger." She shrugged. "I don't really know if it will go anywhere but I won't know until I try right?"

Elliot nodded slowly. "No. I guess not."

Olivia stared at him for a moment, she almost thought she saw jealousy there but she had to tell herself that it was just wishful thinking.

"I'm sorry I can't come over…I mean do you think the kids will be upset?" Olivia asked.

Elliot smiled and shook his head, trying to ignore the aching in his chest. "No. No don't worry about them! They know you have your own life. It was just an idea. I mean you are coming to the Pageant on Sunday right?"

Olivia nodded. "Definitely. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Elliot nodded and turned back to his computer. "Well…great."

Olivia watched him work at his computer, he had a small frown on his face and her heart began to beat faster. Was she making a mistake? Did Elliot actually care about her? Or was he just angry that she wasn't going to spend the night with him and the kids again. Her fear got the better of her and she decided that Elliot was being selfish.

She loved hanging out with him and his children but it wasn't to expect her to give up her own life to be there for his family. If he wanted more from her, he would have said something, or he should have said something.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked him nervously.

Elliot turned back to her and then looked down at his desk. "I'm fine Olivia."

She sighed. "Well that's clearly a lie…"

"I said I'm fine Liv." He said icily getting up and walking over to make himself some coffee.

"Don't bite my head off." She said turning in her seat to look at him.

He sighed. "I didn't. I just…don't like it when you pry."

"I'm not prying." Olivia said stubbornly. "I'm merely pointing out that between the time you walked in here and this very moment…something changed. And I'd like to know what it is so we don't have to sit here and pretend to play nice all day."

Elliot laughed bitterly. "You know I think you are the one with the problem Olivia. What are you pissed about?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you always do that? Why do you always turn everything on me?"

Elliot took his coffee and sat down at his desk again. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Look if this is about me going on a date Wednesday that really isn't fair. You know I'd love to be there for the kids, but you said it yourself…I need to have my own life and I do have my own life." She said leaning onto her desk.

"Right. I know." He said shrugging. "I guess I just don't really understand why you have to go on a date so quickly."

She looked at him feeling confused. "What? You're acting like I've never been on a date before in my life Elliot."

"You've been talking about feeling comfortable with the person you are going to date haven't you? What do you even know about this guy?" Elliot asked challenging her.

"I told you we used to go to school together Elliot. He isn't a complete stranger." She said sighing.

"And how long ago was that? How do you know he is the same person as he was back then?" Elliot asked.

She gawked at him for a moment. "Well I don't obviously but-"

"What's his name? What does he do? Has be been married before or has he been harboring all these feelings for you for years?" Elliot asked quickly.

Olivia pushed some hard out of her face; he was asking so many questions her head was beginning to spin. "Well his name is Dylan Harmon and he is an accountant. And I don't think he has been married before and I highly doubt he has been harboring feelings for me for years!"

"You better hope not because you know how creepy people can be if they have been holding onto feelings like that. I mean what if he is obsessed with you? And please…talk about boring jobs…an accountant? What the hell are the two of you going to talk about?" He asked laughing.

Now she was beginning to get irritated by his questions. "Okay first of all, I never asked you for your input or your approval because I don't need it. Second of all, he isn't obsessed with me. We haven't seen each other in almost eight years and we are just going out to dinner. No one said I was going to marry the guy! And quite frankly it doesn't matter what he does with his life as long as he has a job. It really is none of your business Elliot!"

He shrugged and smiled angrily at her. "Fine Olivia. I won't give you my opinion. I was only trying to help. God knows when this goes badly you'll come crawling to me for help. I guess I was just trying to fix the situation before it blew up in your face."

His words cut through her like a knife, she swallowed hard and stood up. "That's right Elliot…I always screw everything up. I have no chance at ever being happy because I'm such a big failure! But I never asked you for your help, I never have. And you know what? If this date goes horribly wrong, that's my problem not yours. So you don't have to worry about me coming to you for anything ever again. I can take care of myself…"

She started to walk away and Elliot sighed knowing once again he had let his emotions get the better of him. He stood up quickly and started to follow her down the hallway hoping he could find a way to fix things.

"Liv. Liv wait a second." He said reaching for her arm.

She spun around quickly and pulled her arm out of his grasp. "Don't touch me."

He put his hands up in defeat. "Okay. Sorry…keeping my hands to myself. Will you just let me talk for a second?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, trying to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. "What could you possibly have left to say? I think you made your opinion on me very clear back there…"

Elliot shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that alright? You know me…better than anyone really. You know how I get when I'm stressed out. I'm not mad at you…and I think…" He paused trying to hide his feelings for her. "I think it's great that you are going out on a date. You deserve to be happy…"

"Look I'm sorry you are stressed out Elliot, I really am. I know you have a lot on your late right now but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on me!" She said pushing him slightly.

Elliot nodded. "I know. You are right. I think…I think I've been going about this completely wrong."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "What are you talking about Elliot?"

He stared at her for a moment before he shrugged. "I think I've gotten so used to you helping me out with the kids that I don't know how to do it on my own anymore."

Olivia closed her eyes and licked her lips feeling very tired all of a sudden. "Elliot…I'm sorry I can't come over on Wednesday. I'll be there on Sunday for the pageant like I promised but…I just…" She sighed. "I want to be there for you and the kids…I do. But you can't make me feel guilty if I can't…"

Elliot nodded slowly. "I know. And I'm sorry…"

Olivia stared at him for a moment. "El…you're my best friend and I understand that this is a hard time for you but-"

"I just want you to be happy." Elliot said softly as he stared deep in her eyes. "I don't want to see you get hurt…you deserve the best."

Olivia smiled sadly at him. "Well thanks El…so do you. But…we both know that you could find something wrong with any guy I choose to date. You're gonna have to let me make my own mistakes and I'll try and not involve you in my relationship problems from now on."

He smiled and shook his head. "I didn't really mean that…I'll be here for you if you need me. I'll even kick his ass if he disrespects you in anyway."

Olivia laughed. "Thanks…"

He grimaced slightly as he looked at her. "So…are we okay?"

She sighed. "Yeah…we're fine. Wouldn't be the first time we both said things we regret and it probably won't be the last."

Elliot smiled. "No. You're probably right…"

She nodded slowly. "Okay well…I have to meet Alex in her office to go over a few things. I'll see you later alright?"

Elliot nodded slowly. "I'll be here…"

As Elliot watched her walk away, he couldn't help but feel sad thinking that this date could be the start of something big for Olivia. It was true that he wanted her to be happy, however, he was the one that wanted to make her happy. He figured he should have said something at Olivia's apartment but he had chickened out.

So now here they were, she was moving on with his life and once again he was alone. He knew that no matter what happened Olivia would never abandon his kids, that wasn't who she was. He just wondered if he would be able to handle watching her be happy with someone else if this date went well…

* * *

><p>Wednesday night, Olivia was in her apartment getting ready for her date. She walked out into the living room to get her purse when she saw the tree that Elliot had brought her. It was still sitting in the corner of the room; she hadn't put it in a stand and had no ornaments for it.<p>

It was actually quite depressing to look at it, especially when she thought about the fact that Elliot had given it to her. The day he brought it over, she really thought for a second that he was going to tell her he had feelings for her. But he didn't…and so she was here waiting for Dylan to pick her up for their date.

It wasn't that she wasn't excited for the date…Dylan was a really nice guy from what she remembered. He was handsome, he a great smile and was very smart. But the didn't seem to have much in common, after all he was an accountant and she was a Sex Crimes detective. But this was something she had to do…she had to try going on a date to move on from Elliot because she knew now that they were never going to happen.

She snapped out of her thoughts when there was a knock on the door. She opened her purse, took out the bracelet she was looking for and slipped it on before she went to answer the door.

The door swung open and Dylan smiled at her, he held out a bouquet of flowers for her. "You look beautiful Olivia."

She smiled and took the flowers from him. "Wow. Thank you Dylan! These are beautiful." She stepped aside a little. "Do you want to come in so I can put these in some water?"

Dylan nodded and walked into the apartment as she went to the kitchen for a vase, he looked around and spotted the tree in the corner. "Nice tree. How come you haven't decorated it yet?"

Olivia's face flushed slightly as she filled the vase with water. "Oh…well I haven't really had time yet. My work schedule keeps me pretty busy…"

He nodded. "Oh. You work at the Special Victims Unit right?"

Olivia nodded and walked back over to him. "Yeah."

He smiled. "That's quite impressive. I always knew you were different than all the other girls in our grade. But I gotta say…that kind of job takes a lot of courage."

She shrugged. "I love it. I love helping people, it has its downsides but at the end of the day I wouldn't want to do anything else."

"I think that is very admirable, and just one more reason for me to be attracted to you." He said smiling at her.

Olivia blushed again. "Well…thank you Dylan. You're very sweet."

He shrugged and started to walk towards the door. "Just being honest. But we should get going, I have reservations and they'll probably give them to someone else if we are late."

Olivia grabbed her coat and bag before following him over to the door. She took one last look at the lonely Christmas tree in the corner trying to erase any thoughts of Elliot Stabler. She knew thinking about him would only make this the worst date ever…

* * *

><p>Back at Elliot's house he was taking a batch of cookies out of the oven when Maureen walked into the kitchen. She smiled at him and took a piece of cookie dough out of the bowl waiting to be made into more cookies.<p>

"I think is going to be sick soon. He has been hoarding cookie dough." She said before sitting down at the counter.

Elliot chuckled and placed the tray on the counter. "I know. He does this every year…"

Maureen smiled. "So how come Olivia didn't come tonight?"

Elliot had been waiting for his kids to ask this question, especially Maureen since she was so keen on them getting together. "She had other plans."

Maureen took another piece of cookie dough and squinted her eyes at her father. "Other plans? Like what?"

He smiled at her. "She does have her own life Maureen. It doesn't revolve around us…"

Maureen raised her eyebrow and smirked. "No…but she seemed to like spending time with us."

Elliot nodded and began to put the cookies on the cooling rack. "Yes. She does, just like we enjoy spending time with her. But that doesn't mean she has to or will be with us all the time."

Maureen sighed. "Oh no…what did you do?"

He gawked at his older daughter for a moment. "What did I do? I didn't do anything!"

Maureen nodded. "Oh. So that's the problem then…"

He laughed and shook his head. "Maureen we talked about this…Olivia and I are just friends. We're good friends…that's all. I understand how much you care about her and how you want to have a mother in your life again but you can't force people to be in a relationship. It doesn't work that way…"

Maureen rolled her eyes. "I'm not trying to force you guys together…I just thought if I could get you to see how much you both care about each other you'd finally pull your heads out of you're a-"

"Hey!" Elliot said pointing the spatula at her. "Language."

Maureen smirked. "You say it all the time…"

"Yeah well I'm an adult…" Elliot said laughing. "I can say whatever I want."

"You don't always act like an adult." Maureen said leaning on the counter. "You're acting like a child with this whole Olivia situation. You're afraid to admit your true feelings."

Elliot sighed and put the spatula down. "Maureen…please. Drop it. It isn't going to happen. Olivia is out on a date with someone else right now and yes…I will admit that I have feeligns for her but I really don't see our relationship ever going to that place. That doesn't mean that she won't be here for you anymore…it just means that you need to stop trying to get us together. It only complicates things alright?"

Maureen stared at her father for a moment, she could see despite the fact he was trying to be strong he was really hurting inside. Olivia was out on a date right now with another man, she knew that had to hurt. But she also knew that she was making things hard for her Dad but constantly bringing Olivia up.

That didn't mean that she was going to give up on her plan…it just meant she had to go about it a different way. So she smiled and pretended that she was going to agree to her father's terms.

"Alright Dad…I'll stop bringing up you and Olivia getting together. I'm sorry if I upset you…" She whispered.

Elliot smiled and walked around the counter, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "It's okay sweetie. I know you were just trying to help. I'm going to go check on your brother, you can put in another batch of cookies if you want."

Maureen nodded and watched him walk away as Kathleen walked into the kitchen. "What were you guys talking about?"

Maureen smiled sneakily and got up to begin and cut out some more cookies. "Olivia."

Kathleen stared at her for a moment. "I thought Dad told you over the weekend that you had to stop all that…"

Maureen laughed. "Kathleen when do we ever actually do what Dad tells us to do?"

Kathleen smiled. "Pretty much never…"

Maureen nodded. "Exactly! So no…I'm not giving up on getting him together with Olivia. We just need to change the plan a little…"

Kathleen climbed up onto one of the stools and watched her sister work. "What do you have in mind?"

Maureen put a new batch of cookies in the oven and turned back to her sister. "Well things were going really well when I was relying on the magic of Christmas to get them together. So I need to revert back to that…"

"And how are you going to do that?" Kathleen asked. "I'm completely lost here…"

"Once again I'm going to let you in on my plans but only if you promise to keep your mouth shut." Maureen said leaning into her sister.

Kathleen made an x across her heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

Maureen smiled. "Well…first of all Dad bought Olivia a Christmas tree. And I know for a fact that she doesn't have any of her own ornaments because she told me that when I stayed over."

"Okay…I still don't get it." Kathleen said shaking her head.

"Well we are on vacation now." Maureen said as she began to swipe down the counter. "I think that on Friday we should get Dad to agree to take a box of ornaments over to Olivia's for her tree! Lord knows we have enough of them to spare, we have a whole unopened box up in the attic."

Kathleen nodded. "So we go over to her place, and decorate the tree. But what if she doesn't have time?"

Maureen shrugged. "It's all about the gesture Kathleen. Olivia will be impressed and she'll remember how she felt when she was decorating the tree with us. She'll want to have that feeling again…not just this year but every year!"

Kathleen smiled at her sister. "Oh you are good…"

Maureen smirked. "And you haven't even heard the best idea I have yet."

Kathleen eagerly leaned across the counter and whispered. "What is it?"

"Olivia is coming to the Christmas Pageant on Sunday." Maureen said leaning into her. "And then we are going to invite her to come back here for dinner. You and I are going to place some mistletoe in various spots around the house to make sure that Dad and Olivia stand under it together. And then…they'll have to kiss!"

Kathleen couldn't stop smiling. "You are brilliant!"

Maureen brushed some flour off of her arm. "I know."

"Hey...what are you two talking about? The Grinch is about to start, you don't want to miss it." Elliot said walking back into the kitchen.

Maureen opened her mouth to respond, her cheeks turning red with nerves but Kathleen beat her to the punch. "Oh we're just talking about your Christmas present Dad."

Elliot smiled at his daughters. "I thought I told you guys to not get me anything this year."

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Did you honestly think we would get you nothing for Christmas Dad? After everything you do for us…we couldn't let you have no presents."

Elliot smiled; he still had no presents for the kids. He had barely been able to pay the bills this month and was not sure how he was going to explain to them why they were getting nothing for Christmas. This would be especially hard for Dickie and Lizzie who still believed in Santa Clause, he didn't want them to stop believing or think they weren't good enough this year.

Elliot sighed. "Well…you guys can talk about that later. Come watch the movie."

Kathleen smiled. "You know…I think this may be the best present we've ever given you." She said as she hopped off the stool and walked towards Elliot. "Don't you think so Maureen?"

Maureen smirked and walked around the counter. "I couldn't agree more Kathleen."

Elliot watched his girls walk into the kitchen and couldn't help but smile. Despite everything that was going on, he couldn't help but think he had the best kids in the world. He had to find a way to save Christmas…

* * *

><p>As Dylan walked Olivia back to her apartment door, she couldn't help but think about what a great first date it had been. He took her to a very fancy and romantic Italian restaurant she had been dying to go to for months but she had never had the time. He asked questions about her work and life since they had seen each other last and he actually seemed genuinely interested in everything she had to say.<p>

He had made her laugh and feel completely comfortable, a feeling she hadn't had on a date in a really long time. After dinner, they had walked through the city and even held hands just as it was beginning to snow. Without a doubt it had been a truly fantastic first date.

When they reached her door, she turned to look at him and he smiled at her. "Well Olivia…I had a really nice time tonight. You are as charming as I remember you to be…maybe even more."

She blushed and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear nervously. "Thank you Dylan. I had a great time too…it was one of the best dates I've been on in a long time."

His smile widened. "Well in that case…can I assume we can have a really amazing second date?"

Olivia laughed and nodded her head. "Definitely."

"I have a business dinner to go to tomorrow night…but how does Friday work for you?" He asked hopefully.

"Friday is good. Unless I get called in I don't have to work…" She said.

Dylan nodded. "Well great. We will plan on dinner Friday night. I'll pick you up at seven?"

Olivia nodded. "Sounds great."

Dylan leaned forward and kissed her cheek softly. "I can't wait…"

Olivia smiled and watched as he walked away before she went back into her apartment. She sighed happily and sat down on the couch, she rested her head on the back of the couch and breathed in happily. She had really enjoyed herself tonight and couldn't remember ever feeling so relaxed.

She sat up and looked around her apartment, her eyes immediately went to the tree in the corner of her apartment. The feelings of joy created by her date slowly began to slip away when thoughts of Elliot filled her mind again. She took a moment before she stood up and walked to the closet off of the living room.

Inside the closet were piles and piles of toys and gifts for Elliot and his kids. The day she had run into Dylan she had been shopping for Christmas presents for the Stabler family. Sighing, she began to take the presents out of the closet and bring them over to the couch. She laid them all out before going to get wrapping paper.

She spent the rest of the night wrapping presents and watching the Grinch wondering what Elliot and his kids were doing at that very moment. Despite feeling happy with Dylan…she was beginning to realize she would never be able to truly hide her feeligns for Elliot. But she hoped she could find a way to live as just his friend for the rest of her life…

* * *

><p><strong>I really can't believe how much positive feedback I've been getting for this story! I love it and I really appreciate it! I hope you liked this chapter and will like the rest of the chapters to come! :) <strong> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys hope you like the update :) For those of you who are worried about "Us Against the World" I have not given up on it. I'm just going to finish this story first since it is a Christmas fic before I go back to updating that one. Don't worry :) **

* * *

><p>Friday evening, Elliot was playing with Dickie and Lizzie in the living room. He got up and walked to the kitchen where his Mom was cooking dinner.<p>

"Hey Ma." He said sneaking a tomato out of the salad bowl.

She slapped his hand away and shook her head. "When was the last time you washed your hands Elliot?"

He chuckled. "I'm not a kid anymore Mom."

She huffed. "Yeah well you sure act like a kid…"

He rolled his eyes. "You sound like Maureen. Speaking of which…have you seen her and Kathleen?"

Bernie added carrots to the salad and nodded. "Yes. They said they had to get some stuff out of the attic. They are probably still up there."

Elliot stared at her curiously. "The attic? What could they possibly need up there?"

Bernie smiled. "Oh you know the girls…they always have something up their sleeves."

Elliot groaned. "That's what I'm afraid of…"

Bernie laughed. "They are just getting into the Christmas spirit Elliot. You can't blame them…you were the same exact way when you were a kid."

Elliot smiled. "I guess you're right."

Just then Kathleen and Maureen walked in carrying two boxes of ornaments. "There they are…what do you girls have?" Bernie asked.

Kathleen put one of the boxes on the counter and smiled. "Left over Christmas ornaments we didn't get to use this year."

Maureen put her box beside Kathleen's. "Who knew we had so many?"

Elliot laughed. "They do seem to accumulate over the years."

"Well it seems like a real waste to not use them…I mean they only get to be used once a year. But here these ones are boxed away in the attic…not really fair." Kathleen said pouting.

Elliot smiled at his daughter. "Honey…I know how sentimental you get but if we put anymore ornaments on that tree it will fall over!"

Kathleen sighed. "You're right…I just wish they could go on someone's tree."

"Well actually they can…" Maureen said smiling at her sister before looking at her Dad.

Elliot looked at her curiously. "What do you mean? Do you want to give them away?"

Maureen shrugged. "Well not necessarily…more like loan them to someone. Someone we know…"

"And who do you have in mind?" Bernie asked as she began to toss the salad.

"Olivia." Maureen stated simply.

Elliot cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at his oldest daughter, he was trying to see if this was a trick. "Maureen…"

"And before you say anything…" Maureen said holding her hand up to silence him. "This isn't me trying to pry into your lives…I was just thinking about the fact that you brought her a tree and she told me she had no ornaments to put on it. How sad is that? Isn't it bad enough that this is her first Christmas tree? We can't let it just sit in her apartment with no ornaments Dad…that's even more depressing then having no tree!"

"I agree." Kathleen said nodding her head adamantly. "It's Christmas! A time for giving and sharing Christmas spirit. Why not share these ornaments with Olivia?"

Elliot rubbed his chin for a moment, thinking about what the girls were saying. It was sad to think of Olivia having a bare Christmas tree in her apartment. If they were to bring over ornaments for the tree, it wouldn't imply anything romantic right? He was just trying to help her have a good Christmas, something she had never had before and something she really deserved.

As he stared at his daughters, he couldn't help but feel that this was all part of their master plan. He knew he should probably say no, he should avoid going to her apartment at all costs. And yet…once again he didn't feel like he could stay away from her.

He sighed and nodded his head. "Alright…we can go over after dinner alright?"

Maureen smiled and leaned over to take a tomato out of the bowl just like her father had done. "Perfect! I'll go set the table."

Maureen and Kathleen happily walked away towards the dining room. Elliot watched them walk away nervously wondering if he was making a big mistake.

Elliot turned to look at his Mother who was just smirking at him, he sighed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Bernie just laughed. "Oh nothing…they just remind me so much of you it's quite frightening at times. Always scheming…"

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her. "So you think they are up to something too?"

Bernie laughed harder. "Aren't they always?"

Elliot laughed sadly and nodded. "I suppose you're right. Are you going to come with us?"

Bernie shook her head. "No. I think I'll stay here…I have some wrapping to do still and I want to get it done soon. Is there anything you want me to wrap for the kids?"

Elliot grimaced. "At the moment? No…"

Bernie stared at her son, he hadn't confided in her but she knew deep down that there were money problems. She smiled sadly at him and leaned forward to take his hand, she squeezed it gently.

"Christmas isn't all about presents Elliot…" She whispered. "It's about being together with the people you love…that is what matters most."

Elliot nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah I know. But they are kids…and presents are still a big part of it."

Bernie smiled at him. "You'll figure it out…you always do." She picked up the salad bowl and nodded towards the stove. "Will you bring the pasta in honey?"

Elliot nodded. "Sure thing Ma."

Sighing, he walked to the stove and picked up the serving bowl filled with pasta. As he walked to the dining room he couldn't help but think about the kids waking up on Christmas morning and finding he had nothing to give them…

* * *

><p>At Olivia's apartment, she was getting ready for her date. She had her dress on but she still needed to finish her make up and her hair. It was 6:30; Dylan was picking her up at 7:00 for their date.<p>

She was in her room applying mascara when she heard a knock on the door. She looked at the clock and desperately hoped it wasn't Dylan there to pick her up early. She had been planning on curling her hair and she still had to put eyeliner on. She stood up from her makeup table and walked out into the living room to answer the door.

When the door opened, her heart began to speed up. "Merry Christmas!" The entire Stabler family yelled happily.

Olivia smiled at them. "My goodness! What a surprise. What are you guys doing here?"

Maureen held out a box. "Well…we figured you could use some ornaments for your Tree. You can't have an empty tree on Christmas!"

Olivia smiled at them. "Oh…well that's very sweet of you. I'm actually heading out soon…"

"Can't we come in and help you decorate?" Little Lizzie asked, staring up at her with those big blue eyes. "Please?"

Maureen and Kathleen smirked at each other, never having felt more proud of their baby sister in their lives. She was learning fast how to get exactly what she wanted by using how cute she was to her advantage.

Olivia swallowed hard. "Um…yeah sure. You can come in for a little while. I don't have to leave until seven…" She said nervously.

They walked into the apartment, all the kids filed in first and then Elliot following. He smiled at Olivia as she closed the door behind them, she looked absolutely beautiful but his heart sank, thinking she looked like she was going out on another date.

"Is it okay that we showed up?" Elliot asked. "The kids really wanted to bring these ornaments over…"

Olivia looked over as the kids started to unload the boxes. "Oh…yeah of course. You know you guys are always welcome here. I just…I'm going out tonight."

Elliot swallowed hard. "With Dylan?"

Olivia rubbed her hands together slowly. "Yeah. He's picking me up at seven."

Elliot tried to smile as he nodded his head. "So I take it the first date went well then?"

Olivia nodded slowly, and looked away from him afraid to look him in the eye. "Yeah. It was really nice…"

"So he was as charming as you remembered him to be?" Elliot asked.

She swallowed hard and finally looked up at him, she saw pain in his eyes and it broke her heart. "Yeah. He was…"

Elliot smiled not so convincingly at her and nodded his head. "Well I'm glad you had a good time. I'll just put the tree in the stand and string a few lights on…the kids can throw a few ornaments up and then we'll get out of your way."

She smiled, swallowing the large lump in her throat. "Okay. Great."

He nodded and walked over to the tree and began to set it up in the stand they had brought over. Olivia took a deep breath and walked over to this kids who were sitting on the couch picking out their favorite ornaments to give to Olivia.

"Hey Liv…where have you been?" Dickie asked. "You haven't been around much lately…"

"Hey Dickie we talked about that…Olivia has her own life." Elliot started. "Don't be rude…"

Olivia began to feel guilty. "No it's okay Elliot…I'm sorry about that buddy. I've just been kind of busy…but I'll be coming to see the Pageant on Sunday! Are you guys excited?"

Lizzie nodded. "It's going to be great!"

"We've been rehearsing pretty hard." Maureen said, "I think it will go really well. We're glad you are coming."

"You know we are going to have a big dinner at our house afterwards." Kathleen said. "Do you think you can come? Grandma Bernie is a great cook!"

Olivia smiled. "Yes she definitely is. And…I would love to come over for dinner. As long as that's okay with your Dad."

"What do you say Dad? Can Olivia come over for dinner after the Pageant on Sunday?" Maureen asked her Dad.

Elliot plugged in the lights and smiled at her. "Of course."

"Yay!" Lizzie said jumping up and down. "Look how pretty it looks Olivia!"

Olivia smiled at her as the little girl ran over to her side. "It is beautiful."

"Can we put some ornaments up now?" Dickie asked.

"Sure." Olivia said as the little boy walked over to the tree and hung the firs ornament.

"So Olivia…where are you going tonight?" Maureen asked nervously, she finally was registering the fact that Olivia was in a beautiful dress. "You look really nice."

Olivia stood up and walked towards the tree to hang an ornament. "Oh…I'm going out with a friend of mine."

"What friend?" Kathleen asked looking at her sister knowingly.

"Girls…" Elliot said shaking his head. "Really…not your business."

"Olivia and I are friends." Maureen said shrugging. "Just having a friendly conversation here Dad…"

Olivia swallowed hard. "Um…his name is Dylan Harmon. We used to go to school together…"

"Dylan Harmon? So it's a guy?" Kathleen asked.

Olivia turned to look at Elliot's daughters. "Yes…"

"So is it like a date?" Maureen asked standing up and walking over to the tree.

"Girls!" Elliot said walking over to Kathleen. "That's enough…"

Olivia didn't want Elliot to be angry with them so she shook her head. "It's okay Elliot. Um…yes it is a date."

Maureen and Kathleen looked at each other quickly and then began to busy themselves with decorating the tree. They both went to the back where they could whisper quietly together, something that didn't go unnoticed by their father.

"Daddy can I put the star on?" Lizzie asked as she walked over to him and pulled at his arm.

Elliot looked away from his older daughters and picked up Lizzie, she had the star in her hands. "Ready?"

Olivia watched Elliot lift his youngest child up with ease, Lizzie reached her hands out excitedly and placed it on the top branch of the tree. "Is it straight Daddy?"

Elliot looked at Olivia. "What do you think Liv? It is your tree…"

Olivia smiled and looked up at the star. "I think it looks perfect. Great job Lizzie."

Elliot put Lizzie back on the ground; she ran over to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I love you Olivia."

She was caught off guard for a moment, unlike most people she hadn't been told that she was loved very often. And here was this tiny girl overwhelming her with her love. She smiled and lifted Lizzie up to hold her close, she knew everyone was watching her but she said it back because she meant it, not because it was expected.

"I love you too Lizzie." Olivia said, the little girl smiled and leaned in and kissed Olivia's cheek.

Elliot was beaming at Olivia; he looked over at his oldest daughters who had come out from behind the tree. Kathleen was leaning into Maureen; they looked happy and yet sad. Elliot looked over at Olivia who was still holding Lizzie and he finally knew just how deep his feelings went for her…

He was about to say something when there was a knock on the door signaling Dylan's arrival. "Oh…" Olivia said as she placed Lizzie down on the ground. "Excuse me sweetie…"

Elliot watched her walk towards the door and thought about stopping her, but she had to acknowledge Dylan's presence either way. So he waited…he glanced over at the girls who were anxiously waiting for Olivia to open the door.

"Dylan. Hi." Olivia said when the door was open all the way.

Dylan smiled at her and then looked into the apartment, he saw Elliot and his children and wasn't able to hide his confusion very well. "Olivia…hi…I know I'm a little early but-"

She shook her head and moved aside. "That's okay…you can…" She looked at Elliot but had to turn away quickly. "You can come in…"

Dylan stepped into the apartment apprehensively and tried to smile at Elliot and his kids. "Hello…"

"Hi." They all said together.

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck. "Dylan…this is Elliot Stabler he's my partner."

Dylan looked over at her quickly. "Partner?"

Olivia forgot he wasn't familiar with detective terms. "Oh…work partner. He's…a detective too. We work together…" She was turning red.

Dylan nodded slowly understanding what she meant now. "Oh. Right. Work partner. Well hello Elliot it's nice to meet you…"

Elliot couldn't help but smirk at how uncomfortable Dylan looked, he walked over to them and stuck out his hand. "Hello Dylan. Nice to meet you."

Dylan shook his hand. "Are these your kids?"

Elliot nodded and looked at Olivia who seemed to have lost her voice. "Yes…these are my four kids. Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie."

Dylan nodded and waved. "Hello." He turned back to Olivia. "Are we still on for tonight? You didn't call and cancel so I just assumed-"

She nodded quickly. "Yes. Yes we're still on…I…they…" She swallowed nervously and smiled. "They just surprised me with ornaments for my tree…I told you how I had nothing for it. Isn't that sweet?"

Dylan looked at Elliot's kids who were staring at him like he was the enemy, which of course he was. "That is sweet…"

"Well my kids love Olivia." Elliot said wrapping an arm around Olivia and pulling her to his side, much to her surprise. "It's kind of hard not too…don't you think?"

Olivia gawked at Elliot, and Dylan just smiled knowing what Elliot was trying to do. "Yes…she is pretty loveable."

Olivia slowly extracted herself from Elliot's embrace and stepped closer to Dylan. "Well I don't know about that…"

Elliot chuckled feeling more confident. "Oh Olivia…you always do that. You don't realize just how important you are to some people's lives."

Olivia looked at Dylan and smiled and then back to Elliot. "Elliot I really-"

"See…when my life left me…Olivia really stepped up. My kids adore her." Elliot said turning to his kids. "Don't you guys?"

"Definitely." Kathleen said smiling.

Maureen nodded. "She's a better Mom to us than our biological Mom was!"

Elliot smiled at his kids and turned back to Dylan and Olivia, Dylan was looking even more confused and Olivia looked ready to kill. "That's exactly what I was thinking Maureen. I mean…Olivia always drops everything to be there for me and my kids. It's pretty amazing…and I just don't know what I would do without her in my life."

Olivia looked at Dylan and could tell he felt very uncomfortable; she looked at Elliot and tried to laugh it off. "Oh Elliot…you are always to nice to me. I'm just being a friend…anyone would do that."

Elliot shook his head and smirked. "No…not anyone. I mean don't you think it's pretty amazing of her to just be so selfless Dylan?"

Dylan nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah it is pretty amazing. And it sounds like something only Olivia would do."

Elliot had nothing left to say to Dylan, he thought he had made it pretty clear just how much he cared about Olivia. He could see it in Dylan's eyes that he knew he had stepped in the middle of something, he just wondered if Dylan would walk away or if he would try and fight for Olivia. Either way Elliot was sure what he wanted now so he was going to fight for what he wanted.

But there was one thing he hadn't counted on, Olivia's fear. "You know…we should probably get going." Olivia said stepping even closer to Dylan.

Dylan looked over at her, surprised that she wasn't kicking him out. "Go? Oh…you still want to go out to dinner?"

Olivia nodded slowly. "Of course. We made plans together…I've been looking forward to it since Wednesday."

Dylan smiled at her. "Oh okay. Well let's go…"

Olivia turned nervously to Elliot. "Uh…I'm really glad you guys came over. It was fun and I appreciate the help with the tree…"

Elliot nodded slowly, he knew what she was doing and even though he wished she would have asked Dylan to leave he knew he still had time. "Right. No we just showed up unannounced so we'll head out and let you two crazy kids head out for dinner."

"Dad?" Maureen asked her father, she had thought he would fight harder.

"No don't me on this Mo…we can't just but into Olivia's life like that. She has plans and she is honoring them…it's the respectable thing to do." Elliot said throwing one final dig at Dylan. "Why don't you leave the boxes here for Olivia so she can finish decorating later and we'll head home."

Elliot's kids put down the ornaments they were holding and walked back towards the door. They hugged Olivia one by one much to Dylan's dismay and then they all stood their awkwardly.

"Um…" Olivia started.

Elliot smiled. "We'll see you on Sunday right?"

"Sunday?" Dylan asked looking over at Olivia.

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck. "Uh yeah…I am going to see the kids in their Christmas Pageant."

"And then you are coming to dinner at our house! Don't forget!" Dickie said.

Elliot smiled down at his son. "That's right buddy, she's coming for dinner too. Right?" He asked looking over at Olivia.

Olivia swallowed hard. "I made a promise. I'll be there."

"Great. Well now that that is settled…we'll be out of your way." Elliot said pushing his kids towards the door.

"We should get going too…" Dylan said looking at Olivia.

Olivia nodded and went to get her coat. "Okay. Let's go…"

Awkwardly, the entire group of people walked out of the apartment and watched as Olivia locked the door. Then they made their way towards the elevator, still all together. Dickie excitedly pressed the button at the same time that Dylan had reached to press it.

Elliot smirked. "It's the little things that make them happy…"

Dylan nodded. "Right."

When the elevator doors opened, they all filed in together and somehow Olivia ended up stuck between Dylan and Elliot. She looked between both of them, Elliot was smiling and Dylan looked slightly put off.

She sighed and wished that the elevator would go faster. Christmas music played in the background and Elliot's kids were all singing along. She rubbed the back of her neck as she always did when she was nervous.

The doors finally opened when they reached the lobby and together they walked out in silence. When they exited the building, they paused awkwardly and Olivia looked back at Elliot and his kids.

"Well we're parked this way…" Elliot said pointing to the left.

Dylan nodded. "I'm parked that way…" He said pointing to the right.

"Then this is where we say goodbye. At least for now." Elliot said reaching his hand out to Dylan. "Again, it was very nice meeting you."

Dylan stared at his hand for a moment before reaching out to shake his hand. "You too Elliot."

Elliot turned to Olivia and winked at her. "See you later Liv." He looked at his kids. "Come on guys…I think White Christmas is on tonight."

They started to walk towards their van as Dylan put a hand on Olivia's lower back. "Ready to go?"

Olivia watched them walk away for a minute before turning back to Dylan. "Yeah. Yeah I'm ready…"

As they made their way towards Dylan's car Olivia could hear the kids and Elliot all singing "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas". She couldn't help but smile, but she shook her head quickly and made herself put her head back in the game. She was on a date with Dylan…and if she stayed with him things would be less complicated. That's exactly what she needed in life…less complications…

* * *

><p>Back at the house, Elliot put Dickie, Lizzie and Kathleen to bed and he was walking into Maureen's room. His oldest daughter was sitting up on her bed writing in what appeared to be a journal.<p>

"Writing about anything interesting?" Elliot asked as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

Maureen smirked at her and closed the journal and put it in her bedside table. "Like I'm going to tell you…"

He laughed. "Wishful thinking…"

Maureen curled her legs up under her and smiled at her Dad. "So…what did you think of Dylan?"

Elliot shrugged. "Seems nice enough…I guess."

Maureen nodded. "If I didn't know any better…I'd say you were acting pretty jealous back at her apartment Dad."

Elliot smiled at his daughter. "You caught onto that huh?"

Maureen smiled and then shook her head. "What took you so long to see it?"

Elliot sighed and put his hand on Maureen's leg. "Honey…when your Mom left things changed for me. It had been a long time since I dated…it's a bit confusing. And I've known Olivia for a long time now. I guess I didn't want to lose her as a friend…"

"Even if it meant you could gain her as a partner? And I don't mean work partner…" Maureen said laughing thinking about how uncomfortable Olivia had been trying to explain their relationship.

Elliot smiled at her. "I guess I didn't want to risk it…"

"Because you're afraid that Olivia would leave you like Mom did." Maureen whispered.

Elliot sighed sadly. "Yeah…that's what I was afraid of."

Maureen shook her head. "Dad…Olivia isn't like Mom. She wouldn't do that. I mean Olivia has been hurt in her life too…she knows what it feels like."

Elliot shrugged. "Maybe you're right..."

"I know I'm right." Maureen said leaning against the backboard of her bed.

Elliot chuckled. "When did you get so smart?"

She shrugged. "I had a pretty smart Dad who raised me and my siblings right."

Elliot smiled. "You know…we've never really talked about your Mom leaving…"

Maureen sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap. "What's there to talk about? I mean…I'm still kind of angry about it but I can't change it. None of us can…Mom made her choice."

Elliot stared at her for a moment. "It wasn't about you guys…your Mom left because she was angry with me."

Maureen shook her head. "So? She could have gotten a divorce but still stayed in our lives. She made her choice Dad…we don't blame you."

Elliot smiled sadly. "I guess we just need to finally start to move on with our lives."

Maureen shook her head. "What do you think I've been trying to do Dad?"

Elliot chuckled. "Next time I'll take your advice right away." He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head before walking towards the door.

Maureen beamed at her Dad. "Does that mean you're finally going to admit to Olivia how you feel?"

Elliot smiled at her. "We'll see…get some sleep kid. We have a busy weekend ahead of us."

Maureen smiled even more as he flipped her light off and she slipped into bed. Things were finally falling into place…

* * *

><p>At the end of their date, Olivia and Dylan were walking back to her apartment building in silence. She had tried her best to be attentive to Dylan; she tried to sound interested in what ever hew as talking about.<p>

The truth of the matter was that her head and her heart were with someone else. Part of her wanted to feel angry about how Elliot had acted so jealous when she introduced him to Dylan. If he had had feelings for her he should have said something before she found a guy that could make her happy.

Dylan put his had out and stopped Olivia in front of the building. "Olivia?"

She swallowed hard and smiled. "Hm?"

He smiled sadly at her. "I thought maybe we could have fun tonight like we did on Wednesday and you'd forget about him."

She shook her head. "I don't understand-"

He sighed and looked down at the sidewalk. "It's obvious that there is something going on between you and Elliot."

"Dylan nothing has ever happened. Were just partners. Wo-" She started.

"Work partners." Dylan said nodding. "Right. I know…but that doesn't mean there isn't a connection between the two of you."

Olivia sighed and looked up at him. "It's…complicated."

Dylan smiled. "Sure. I understand…don't get me wrong I'm pretty sad about it but I can't deny how he feels about you." He paused. "And how I think you feel about him…"

Olivia rubbed her forehead nervously. "I've known Elliot for a long time and-"

"Olivia when you weren't pretending to listen to what I had to say…you were talking about Elliot and his kids and how amazing they were." He said softly. "Stop trying to pretend you don't love him…"

She bit her lip nervously. "I didn't mean to hurt you Dylan…I swear. I really like you. You're handsome and smart, you're so funny and caring and I just-"

"We can't help who we love." Dylan said shaking his head. "I should have asked you out years ago when I had the chance…but I was just too afraid."

"Dylan-" She tried again.

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently. "Don't let your fear keep you away from something that is obviously really special."

She sighed. "I feel terrible…"

Dylan started to step back and he shook his head. "Don't. It's Christmas…the time when we should be with the people we love."

Olivia watched him walk away and couldn't help but feel like she was going to cry. Once again another relationship was going up in flames before her and there was nothing she could do about it. After their first date…she had really thought that this could go somewhere. She thought she could learn to love Dylan and forget about Elliot but now she knew that wasn't going to happen…

Sighing she walked into her building and went to the elevator and tried to keep the tears in…at least until she got to her apartment.

* * *

><p><strong>What did you think? Let me know and send in a review! I'll try and update again tomorrow! :) <strong> 


	7. Chapter 7

After her disastrous date with Dylan on Friday, Olivia spent the rest of the weekend wallowing in self-pity. She felt frustrated, depressed and very much alone. She thought about calling Dylan and telling him she didn't have any feelings for Elliot but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Mostly because she knew it would be a bold face lie…

She had called into work on Saturday saying she wasn't feeling well and of course Cragen had let her take the day off. The phone had rung a few times and she wondered if it was Elliot calling to check up on her. The truth of the matter was she didn't want to talk to him even if it was…she didn't know how she felt about him at the moment.

She finally pulled herself out of bed, took a shower and got dressed to go to the Pageant. She drove to Elliot's house trying to calm herself down the entire way there. She kept reminding herself that she was doing this for the kids and she had to put her feelings for Elliot aside at least for tonight.

She pulled her car into the driveway and walked quickly to the door wanting to get out of the cold. Bernie opened the door and smiled at Olivia pulling her into the house.

"You are going to freeze out there! Get in here sweetie." She said pulling Olivia into the hallway.

Olivia laughed. "I'm alright Bernie. Don't worry."

Bernie smiled at her. "Look at you…you always look so beautiful!"

Olivia blushed. "Thank you Bernie. You are too sweet…"

"I think its great that you are here for the kids. They are so excited!" Bernie said.

Olivia smiled. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Olivia!" Maureen said running down the stairs, she had a red dress on and looked so grown up. "You came!"

Olivia smiled and pulled her in for a hug. "Of course I came! I told you I'd be here didn't I?"

Maureen smiled up at her. "I can't wait! Dad said we can leave soon, he's getting Dickie and Lizzie into their angel costume.s"

Olivia smiled. "I'm sure they look adorable."

Just then Elliot walked down the stairs with Dickie and Lizzie all dressed and ready to go. "Oh hey Liv."

He smiled at her and her knees went weak. "Hey El…"

"Olivia look at my wings!" Lizzie said spinning around.

Olivia turned away from Elliot and smiled at Lizzie. "You look beautiful Lizzie! And Dickie you look very handsome."

Dickie pouted. "I think I look ridiculous."

Olivia ruffled his hair. "You definitely don't look ridiculous Dickie."

Dickie looked over at his Dad. "Dad can I have one Christmas cookie before we leave?"

Elliot sighed. "I suppose so…"

Dickie and Lizzie started running towards the kitchen. "I'll go make sure they only take one each." Bernie said laughing.

Olivia smiled at Elliot's mother and then turned to look at the tree, there were still no presents underneath it. Maureen and Elliot were chatting together and Olivia was lost in thought again, wondering if she was making the wrong choice by spending so much time with Elliot and his kids. She obviously couldn't ignore the fact that there was a connection between them but it wasn't easy to deal with.

"Liv?" Elliot asked gently.

She turned to look at him. "Yeah?"

He stared at her for a moment; he always found a way to look straight through to her soul. "Are you okay?"

She licked her lips and tried to smile as she nodded her head. "I'm fine…"

Maureen was staring at Olivia nervously as Elliot questioned her. "You sure? You look a little…upset."

She shook her head. "No. Really. I'm fine..."

Elliot looked at Maureen for a moment. "Honey why don't you go check on Kathleen? She's trying to do her hair and we both know how useless I am in that department…"

Maureen nodded slowly. "Okay…" She walked around Olivia and started to walk up the stairs to check on her sister.

Elliot turned his body fully toward her. "Liv…are you sure? You look like you haven't been sleeping well…"

She pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. "Elliot I said I'm fine so I'm fine…"

He watched her turn her gaze away from him again; something was definitely bothering her and it was beginning to frustrate him that she wouldn't tell him. What was worse was that he could usually able to figure it out before she finally admitted it to her.

"Is this about Friday night? Are you mad because we showed up when Dylan was coming over?" Elliot asked.

"I told you it was fine that you came over." Olivia said crossing her arms over her chest. "My tree looks great now, I appreciate it. I'll make sure to bring the ornaments back after Christmas…"

He shook her head. "It's not necessary. We never end up using all the ornaments anyway. You can keep them."

She sighed. "They are your family ornaments Elliot. It wouldn't be right for me to keep them."

He squinted his eyes at her. "Liv seriously…what is going on? You seem pissed about something."

"I'm not pissed. Just slightly annoyed that you are trying to interrogate me." She said softly.

"I'm not trying to interrogate you." Elliot said shaking his head. "I just want to figure out what is bothering you so much. You know I don't like to see you upset…"

She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "I just have a lot on my mind Elliot."

He shrugged. "So tell me about it…"

She closed her eyes sadly. "I don't think now is the best time for that Elliot…it's a big night for the kids. I don't want to ruin anything for them."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "So does that mean it has to do with me?"

She groaned. "I don't know…I'm really confused right now Elliot. Can we please just talk about this later?"

"Liv if I did something to upset you. Please just tell me what it is…" He said taking a step towards her.

She stepped back nervously and put her hand up. "Please Elliot…I'm serious. Can we do this later?"

He opened his mouth to say something again but Bernie walked into the kitchen with the twins. "Are we ready to go? We don't want to be late…"

She looked between her son and Olivia and saw the tension. Elliot looked anxious and Olivia looked like she was about to cry. Maureen and Kathleen came bounding down the stairs ready to go.

"Let's go! Let's go!" Maureen said clapping her hands together excitedly.

Olivia turned form Elliot quickly and instantly put a smile on her face. "Do you girls want to drive with me?"

"Yeah!" Kathleen said as she turned to her Dad. "Is that okay Dad?"

Elliot nodded slowly and looked away from Olivia. "Yeah. Sure. That's fine…"

"Great." Olivia said never looking at him. "Let's get going…"

They all walked out of the house, Elliot's mind was reeling as he tried to make eye contact with Olivia. He didn't understand why she was so upset. Yes it was true he had acted a little immaturely when he met Dylan but he was jealous. Maybe she was upset because he hadn't actually said anything to her about how he felt…

He couldn't do it now because it would ruin the Pageant for the kids. But maybe when they got back for dinner he could pull Olivia aside and talk to her. Would she talk to him though? What if Dylan had made such an impression on her that she rejected him?

He didn't know if he could handle that. Maybe Dylan had told her that he didn't like how close she was with Elliot and if they were going to be together she had to stop spending so much time with him and his family. He wouldn't blame Dylan…he probably would have done the same thing but they just started dating. Could he ask her to do that? And would Olivia agree to it?

As he drove to the church he felt like his head was going to explode. He hadn't been this confused in a really long time and he wasn't sure what the right thing to do was anymore. Nothing made sense…

* * *

><p>At the church, the kids ran back stage to get ready for the show. Bernie, Olivia and Elliot found seats near the front. Elliot was sitting in the middle of them, he smiled at his mother and then tried to smile at Olivia, she smiled weakly back.<p>

He leaned into her and tried to talk. "Olivia when we get back-"

"Elliot…seriously…not now." She said shaking her head desperately. "I'm fine."

He sighed. "You are not. Stop lying." He said rolling his eyes. "You're being ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous?" Olivia asked in disbelief. "You're one to talk! What the hell was that at my apartment on Friday night? Why were you acting so possessive? I'm not yours Elliot…you were rude to Dylan and as a friend I thought you would be a little more supportive of me trying to date again."

He sighed again and tried to ignore the aching in his chest when she said she wasn't his. "Look I'm sorry about that but I couldn't help it…"

"What does that mean?" She asked angrily. "I don't understand you Elliot…I really don't. What is it that you want from me?"

He opened his mouth to respond but the lights began to dim and she gave him a look that said we will finish this later. He sighed and sat back in his chair and tried to focus his attention on the play because he knew how much it meant to his kids.

Maureen walked out on to the platform and smiled as she began to read off of her script. "This is the story of the first Christmas - the night Jesus Christ was born. We celebrate this to remember the hope and joy that this tiny baby brought to the world on that extraordinary night in Bethlehem…"

She looked into the audience and smiled at Elliot who winked back at her. Olivia waved and Maureen looked back at her script and continued on.

Maureen read the story of the first Christmas ever celebrated. Kathleen sang along with the choir and Dickie and Lizzie stood at the base of the stage with the other angels as the actors who were playing Mary and Joseph acted out their parts.

Throughout the play, Elliot occasionally glanced over at Olivia to try and read her expression. She never turned to return his gaze though and he couldn't help but think that she looked like she was trying not to cry.

After the pageant was over, Elliot, Bernie and Olivia were standing around waiting for the kids to come in from backstage. The church had provided snacks and deserts for everyone as they waited for their kids. One family walked over to where Elliot, Olivia and Bernie stood.

"Elliot!" The man said. "You must be so proud of your kids, especially Maureen. She did a wonderful job."

Elliot reached out to shake the mans hand. "Thanks Pete. I am very proud…Mark was great too." He said referring to their son.

Pete's wife looked over at Olivia. "Elliot who is your beautiful friend?"

Olivia blushed and looked at Elliot nervously before putting her hand out. "Oh. I'm Olivia Benson…I work with Elliot."

Pete smiled knowingly. "Oh…so you are Olivia?"

Olivia swallowed hard. "I'm sorry?"

Pete's wife nudged him gently. "Excuse my husband. I'm Bailey Conners, this is my husband Peter. Our son Mark was in the choir with Kathleen. I think what my husband was trying to say is that we've heard a lot about you…"

Olivia glanced at Elliot again. "You have?"

"Oh all good things." Bailey said smiling.

"All very good things." Pete said laughing. "We can hardly get him to stop talking about you…"

Elliot tried to smile, but inside he was screaming for them to shut up. "That's an exaggeration…"

Pete chuckled and shook his head. "No it's not. He's always talking about how great you are with the kids and how much he admires you for everything you do for them. If I didn't know any better…I'd say he is in lo-"

"Dad!" Dickie said running over to where they all stood.

Olivia didn't need Pete to finish the sentence to know exactly what he was going to say. She looked at Elliot again who looked like all the blood had drained from his face. She smiled at Pete and Bailey as the rest of Elliot's kids ran over to them.

"Dad did you see me?" Dickie asked as Elliot picked him up, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Elliot nodded slowly. "I sure did buddy. You were great! You were all great!"

"Did I sound okay?" Maureen asked as she hugged her grandma. "I was so nervous!"

Bernie smiled at her. "You were nervous? You sounded so confident! I think you did a phenomenal job!"

"Really?" Maureen looked over at Olivia. "What did you think Liv? Did you like it?"

Olivia smiled. "I loved it. I'm really glad you guys invited me; I wouldn't have wanted to miss that. They'll be talking about this one for years…"

"Well we should get going. We're going to Mark's grandparents for dinner. It was great to finally meet you Olivia, and we'll see the rest of you at Christmas mass right?" Pete asked sticking his hand out again for Elliot.

Elliot shook it slowly, trying to keep from leaning into punch him in the face. "Yeah. We'll be there."

Bailey turned to look at Olivia. "Will you be coming too Olivia?"

Olivia smiled at her. "Oh. I'm not really sure…"

"Well if not…have a Merry Christmas!" Bailey said as they walked away from the group.

Kathleen tugged at her Dad's arm. "Dad can we go home now? I'm starving!"

Elliot nodded slowly. "Yeah. Let's get out of here."

Kathleen looked over at Maureen and smiled. "This may just be the best night ever…"

Maureen smiled back. "I couldn't agree more Kathleen…"

Olivia smiled and took Lizzie's hand, not wanting to be near Elliot at the moment. They walked out to their cars and this time Dickie and Lizzie drove with Olivia while everyone else drove with Elliot back home.

* * *

><p>At the house, Bernie began to prepare for dinner as the kids, Elliot and Olivia went to the living room. Dickie and Lizzie were dancing around in their costumes and Olivia was sitting with the girls on the couch.<p>

Elliot was leaning against the wall staring at the tree trying to find a moment to pull Olivia aside. Kathleen and Maureen were both talking quickly, it was making Olivia nervous but she thought she would be safer with them than standing alone with Elliot.

"So…Olivia are you definitely coming over tomorrow night for Christmas Eve? If you are you might as well just stay over so you are here on Christmas morning." Maureen said.

Elliot looked over at his girls. "Maureen…"

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck as Maureen shrugged. "What? She said she was going to spend Christmas with us. What's the point in going back and forth if she is going to be with us both days. It makes more sense that way doesn't it?" She asked looking over at Olivia.

Olivia licked her lips. "Yeah…I don't know…maybe. I'll think about it."

"But if Olivia sleeps over she would have to sleep on the couch again and then Santa won't come!" Dickie said stopping his dancing and running over to his sister. "If he sees Olivia on the couch he is going to go straight back up the chimney and back to the North Pole! He can't be seen Maureen!"

Olivia smiled. "Your brother does have a point…"

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Fine. Then I'll sleep in Kathleen's room and Olivia can take my bed."

Now Olivia didn't know what to say to get out of it. "I'll…I'll think about it Mo."

Kathleen and Maureen shared a nervous glace as Olivia stood up and walked away from them. She went to the corner to get her bag and check her phone. She had an urge to text Dylan and ask him for another chance…but she didn't know if he would give one to her.

Kathleen and Maureen looked up above where Olivia was standing and sure enough a piece of mistletoe was hanging above her. It was just one of the many places they had put it to make sure that their Dad and Olivia would definitely stand under it at some point.

Maureen looked at her Dad who finally turned his gaze towards her, he tried to smile but she cocked her head to where Olivia was. Elliot stared at her for a moment before he understood what she was trying to get him to do. He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to Olivia…completely oblivious to the trap he was walking into.

"Liv?" He asked gently.

Olivia looked up at him and put her phone in her pocket. "Yes?"

"Can we talk now?" He whispered stepping closer to her.

She sighed. "Elliot…I just don't want to get into a fight right now and upset your kids."

"Well we have to talk about it sometime." Elliot said beginning to feel really impatient. "Why wait?"

She stared at him for a moment. "Fine. Let's talk about it. Why were you so rude to Dylan when you were over at my apartment?"

He rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't' necessarily say I was rude…"

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "You wouldn't? Then what would you say you were exactly? Because you definitely weren't acting like you normally do with me…"

Elliot sighed and shrugged. "I was just…testing him."

"Testing him? What does that even mean Elliot?" Olivia asked angrily.

"Just making sure he knew how lucky he was to be with someone like you. I wanted to make sure he knew not to screw it up." Elliot said softly.

"It's my relationship Elliot. MY relationship. Not yours. You really have no say in it and you made it really uncomfortable." She said shaking her head. "It really pissed me off that you did that…"

"Okay. I'm sorry…maybe I shouldn't have acted like that. I didn't plan on it going like that…I just couldn't really help it." Elliot said sighing. "I just saw him come into the apartment and something in me snapped…"

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Look Elliot…we're friends. Good friends…and I want what's best for you to but I would never act the way you did with someone you were trying to date. Never. You're lying to me about something and I don't like it."

"It's just…complicated." He whispered sadly.

She laughed sadly. "Everything with you and me is complicated Elliot. Absolutely everything."

"But doesn't that tell you something?" He asked stepping closer to her as his heart began to beat faster.

She shook her head. "What are you talking about Elliot? It tells me that we're insane…that we're so fucked up that we're never going to be able to have normal relationships with anyone."

He smiled. "Maybe because we aren't supposed to be with other people…"

She swallowed hard. "What are you trying to say?"

"Olivia I've been thinking a lot and I-" He started.

"Okay guys! Dinner is all ready." Bernie said walking into the living room.

Elliot sighed and Olivia turned away from him, Kathleen and Maureen quickly jumped up and walked closer to them. They had been watching and listening to Elliot talking to Olivia and had seen that they were so close to admitting their feelings to each other…

A nervous Olivia smiled at Bernie. "Smells great Bernie…lets go eat."

"Wait!" Maureen yelled quickly.

All eyes turned to Maureen whose face turned red instantly. "Maureen?" Elliot asked.

Maureen smiled nervously. "Um…I just noticed…" She pointed above Elliot and Olivia's heads. "Mistletoe."

Olivia's heart sank to her stomach as her eyes darted up quickly. Elliot looked at his daughter in confusion before following Olivia's gaze. Sure enough there was mistletoe above them…something he didn't remember ever putting up in his home. Not ever…

"Mistletoe?" Elliot asked. "Where did this come from?"

Maureen looked at Kathleen nervously who said. "Well…we thought this year we would add a new tradition to our house."

Olivia looked at Elliot's daughters. "Girls…"

Maureen shook her head. "Before you say anything Olivia…you should know that not kissing when you stand under mistletoe is very bad luck."

Kathleen nodded. "It can make your new year full of bad luck."

"And where did you hear that?" Elliot asked his daughters finally catching onto their plan, and as angry as he was he also thought they were brilliant.

Maureen shrugged. "At school."

Elliot looked over at Olivia. "Liv…it is tradition."

She stared at him in disbelief. She knew that he tried to do things to make his kids but she thought this was going a bit to far. They clearly weren't getting a long and she wanted to know what Elliot had been about to say before Bernie came into the living room.

"Just one kiss…" Kathleen said leaning in hopefully.

Olivia looked over at Elliot's daughters, Maureen smiled. "Ten seconds tops…"

They were looking at her in that way that always made her give in to their demands. She sighed and looked over at Elliot, he had a small smile on his face but he also looked extremely nervous. She couldn't deny the fact that she had wanted to know what it was like to kiss Elliot Stabler for years. She just never really thought she would find out this way…

She was more confused than ever about their relationship and she was angry that Elliot had come in between her chances with Elliot. Was she supposed to be with Elliot? Was that he was going to tell her? She had no idea…all she knew was that she didn't want to get hurt again.

But it was Christmas after all…and it was a tradition. "Fine…" She whispered.

Elliot quickly glanced at his daughters as if he didn't believe what Olivia had said. Maureen just nodded encouragingly and Elliot turned back to Olivia who was staring up at him with such angst he felt it affecting him too. He licked his lips nervously and stepped all the way towards her, he put his hand on her hip and slowly pulled her against his body.

He felt her breath hitch as their chests met for the first time. She opened and closed her eyes quickly a few times before finally looking him in the eye. Elliot took his other hand and cupped her face gently.

She grabbed his arms needing support because she felt like she was going to fall over from being so close to him. Finally he leaned all the way in and let his lips press against hers for the first time.

Maureen and Kathleen's smiles were so wide their cheeks hurt. Bernie stood in shock and Dickie and Lizzie were staring feeling extremely confused.

Elliot pecked her lips gently at first. He pulled back and stared at her, when she didn't protest he pulled her back in and gave her a proper kiss. It was deep and full of passion that he had been holding in for years.

Olivia finally pulled back; she looked at Elliot quickly and then back at his kids. If she looked him in the eye again she would be tempted to kiss him again but she couldn't. Even though she wasn't looking at him, Elliot couldn't stop staring at her, or more specifically her lips.

He couldn't' believe that they had actually just kissed. He had wanted to do that for so long and now they had…and he knew for sure he never wanted to kiss anyone ever again. The more he looked at her though the more he realized she was trying desperately not to cry.

Bernie cleared her throat. "Um…should we eat now?"

Elliot nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

"I'm going to run to the bathroom first." Olivia said quickly walking down the hall, before she walked away though Elliot saw a tear fall down her cheek.

"Why is she crying?" Maureen asked.

"Are you a bad kisser?" Kathleen asker her father.

Elliot groaned and ran down the hall after Olivia. "Liv…"

She tried to shut the door before he could get there but he was too fast, his foot stopped the door from closing and he walked into the bathroom with her.

"Olivia…" He whispered.

She couldn't hide the fact that she was crying now, they were pouring down her face. "I hate you."

He grimaced. "Olivia…I shouldn't have let the girls do that. I'm sorry…but I really wanted to kiss you."

She glared at him. "Why do you have to ruin everything for me Elliot?"

He stared at her for a moment, his heart racing in his chest. "What are you talking about?"

She swallowed hard. "Dylan was a really great guy and I had a chance at happiness and you just had to get into my head didn't you? You had to make me think that we could be together! You made me fall in love with you!"

He leaned his back against the door. "I wasn't trying to ruin your chance at happiness Liv…I just felt jealous. And we can be together…"

She shook her head. "No we can't. Elliot it would never work."

He leaned his head down trying to stare straight into her eyes. "Olivia…tell me you don't have any feelings for me."

She sniffled. "What?"

"Tell me you don't have feelings for me…" He whispered again, she turned away from him and he smiled. "See you can't…I know you can't. You wouldn't always be here for me and my kids if you didn't care Liv…"

"What do you want me to say?" She asked looking back over at him. "Of course I have feelings for you Elliot! But so what?"

He rolled his eyes. "So what? Come on Liv…we've been dancing around this for years. We've been too stubborn to do anything about it and while I admit that my girls were a little out of line they were just trying to help. They care about you…they want you and me to be happy and they know that we would make each other happy."

Olivia glared at him. "You make me miserable."

He was taken aback by her words. "What?"

"You do." She said laughing sadly. "I can't deny I have feelings for you Elliot but I shouldn't. You're always playing with my emotions…being nice to me one minute and then being hostile and mean. You push me away when we finally get close and it's so confusing. And then I saw Dylan again and I had a chance…and once again you screwed with me. You got into my head and you made me second guess myself just when I thought I could get over you. He was perfect! And he dumped me because of you…I've been crying for two days because of it and its all your fault!"

Elliot stared at her sadly. "Liv…"

She shook her head. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do because I don't want to ditch your kids. I could never do that…I won't ever do that. But Elliot…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I can't be with you…you hurt me too much. You may not mean it but its what you do and I can't take it anymore. I really can't…I don't trust you not hurt me again."

"I didn't know…" He whispered. "I wasn't trying to hurt you…"

She nodded slowly. "I know that. I know Elliot…but I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

"How can I fix this?" Elliot asked sadly.

She sighed and leaned against the counter. "I don't know…I just don't know anymore."

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was supposed to fight for her. He was supposed to tell her that he would do whatever it took to make her see how much he loved her. But in this moment as he stared at her he could seek how broken she was. Deep down he knew it wasn't all because of him…there was more to it but his guilt and fear outweighed any other problems.

He hated thinking that he could hurt her in anyway. He wanted her to be happy…and if that meant not being with him he would let her go.

He sighed and looked down at the ground. "I'll tell the kids you weren't feeling well and you had to go home."

She sniffled and wiped a tear away. "What?"

He stared at her with sad, tired eyes. "Go home. It's okay…it's too hard for you to be here."

"Elliot." She said turning her body towards him. "I didn't mean-"

He shook his head. "You are right…we can't be together. It wouldn't work." The words were spilling out of his mouth so easily it made him sick, she stared at him with shock but he continued on anyway. "Go to Dylan. Tell him that you talked to me…that we realized it wasn't going to work. Say we were just too close to each other because of work and that's it…there is nothing more. He could make you happy and you deserve that chance…"

She swallowed hard and stared at him. "I don't understand…"

Elliot stepped closer to her and tried to smile. "We fight to much. We'd drive each other crazy if we were in a relationship. I think I thought I wanted you because it was convenient…because you were there."

His words cut her through her like a knife. It was true that she had been saying she wasn't sure about them but she didn't think it would end like this. She thought they would talk about it…discuss their options. She thought she would at least stay for dinner and they would figure out how to go back to the way they were. But the way he was talking made it seem like he wanted to cut her out of his life completely.

"So…you want me to leave?" Olivia whispered.

Elliot's head was screaming at him to say no but he just nodded. "Yes. I think it will be best for everyone…I don't want to get the kids hopes up anymore than they already are."

She licked her lips. "Okay…"

"And don't worry about Christmas…I know you didn't really want to come anyway." He said shrugging. "It's okay…"

She felt like she was going to throw up, she hadn't expected this at all. And yet in a weird way she wasn't all that surprised…this was the way Elliot dealt with things. So she looked at herself in the mirror, wiped her tears away and then turned back to him.

"Can I go then?" Olivia asked not looking him in the eye.

Elliot stepped aside. "Sure."

She opened the door, went out into the hallway and grabbed her bag and left without saying anything to the kids or Elliot. Elliot sighed and walked out to the dining room where the kids and his mother were waiting to eat dinner.

Maureen stared at her father nervously. "Where's Olivia?"

Elliot sat down at his spot. "She wasn't feeling well so she went home."

"She went home?" Maureen asked dropping her fork. "She left?"

Elliot sighed. "Maureen…I understand what you were trying to do but I think it would be best if you just dropped this little charade of yours."

Maureen shook her head angrily. "You just let her walk out like that? What did you say to her?"

Elliot looked at her for a moment. "I know this is hard for you to understand but sometimes just because two people have a connection doesn't mean they should be together."

"That's crap!" Maureen yelled stranding up.

Elliot glared at her. "Maureen! Watch your language!"

Maureen shook her head. "NO! Dad…we were so close. All you had to do was tell her how you feel. Sure she was going to fight it…its what she does. But you were supposed to fight for her! You weren't supposed to let her walk away!"

Elliot stood up. "Maureen…that's enough! Nothing is going to happen between me and Olivia. Do you understand?"

Maureen felt tears prickling in her eyes. "You ruined everything!"

Maureen ran from the table and up to her room. Elliot sighed and sunk back into his chair. Kathleen was staring at her plate and Dickie and Lizzie were staring up at him with tears in their eyes. They hated fighting…

"Elliot…" Bernie whispered.

He looked over at her and sighed. "What a disaster…"

Bernie smiled sadly at her son. "Did you try to fight for her at all?"

"What's the point?" Elliot asked. "She said it herself…I ruin everything. I hurt her all the time and I don't want to do that anymore. I ruined my first marriage so why shouldn't I ruin the best thing that has ever happened to me with Olivia? It's pointless Mom. It's absolutely pointless. We might as well just pretend nothing happened and go back to being work partners…it's not worth it."

Bernie shook her head slowly. "You're wrong…there are something's that are worth fighting for."

Elliot stood up. "I'm not hungry anymore…I'm going upstairs."

When Elliot walked away, Kathleen turned to her Grandma. "Did we ruin Christmas?"

Bernie leaned over and squeezed Kathleen's hand. "No honey. You were just trying to help…and besides. Christmas isn't over yet…there is still a possibility for a Christmas miracle."

Kathleen smiled. "Do you really think so?"

Bernie nodded. "Definitely."

Bernie knew that this wasn't the end. Christmas always had a way of fixing even the worst situations. She also knew that Olivia's trunk was full of presents for the kids and she knew Olivia wouldn't not give them to them. She had seen her open the trunk before they left to make room for Kathleen and Maureen in the back seat.

Yes…there was definitely still some time for another magical Christmas miracle.

* * *

><p><strong>So right about now you probably all hate me...but did you really think i'd made it that easy for them to get together? Hahahah i'm evil I know! But...it's not over yet. When have I ever steered you wrong? You know I'm an avid EO shipper and want to see them together so it will happen soon! :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! I've been pretty busy with finals, but I finally found the time to write the next chapter. Enjoy :) **

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><p>The next morning was Christmas Eve. When Elliot woke up, he rolled over onto his side and stared at the alarm clock. It was 10 o'clock in the morning, he sighed and sat up thinking if he was going to get any presents he would have to get a move on. He yawned and rubbed the back of his neck as his mind wandered back to the night before.<p>

It was still hard to believe that he had kissed Olivia for the first time and just minutes later he told her to leave. Watching her cry in the bathroom telling him how much he had hurt her over the years had broken his heart into a million pieces. He knew that he had been stubborn and should have told her how he felt a long time ago, but he thought she would reject him.

Maybe Maureen was right, maybe he should have fought for her last night but he thought he was doing the right thing. Seeing how sad she was he thought if he let her go she would actually be happy for once. He just wished she didn't have to be happy with someone else…

Sighing he stood up and walked out into the hallway just as Maureen was walking out of her room. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared nervously at her father, her eyes were red and puffy and it was clear she had cried herself to sleep.

"Morning…" Elliot whispered.

Maureen swallowed hard and ran at her father and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I'm so sorry Daddy."

Elliot smiled against the top of her head and held her closer. "Oh honey…it's alright. Everything is gonna be alright…"

She sniffled and pulled back as the tears poured down her cheeks. "I just…I just wanted to give you exactly what you wanted for Christmas. I thought…I thought if you and Olivia could finally be together we'd all be happy again."

Elliot cupped his daughters face in his hands and wiped her tears away. "I know what you were trying to do and I appreciate it Maureen. It's just…complicated."

She sighed. "But why? Don't you love Olivia?"

Elliot motioned his head towards his room so she would sit down on his bed with him, he smiled at her. "Yes. Yes I love Olivia very much. But we've been friends for so long…that sometimes it's hard to change your relationship. And Olivia and I…we come from very different backgrounds. If we were to be together…we'd have a lot we would have to work on."

Maureen stared at him for a moment. "I thought when you were in love with someone you were just supposed to accept them for who they are?"

Elliot thought about what she said for a moment and felt that she had a point. "Well…that's right."

She shrugged. "So I don't get it. So what if you guys think differently. If you love her…why can't you just tell her and be with her?"

Elliot huffed. "I don't know…"

Maureen wiped her tears away and stood up. "I have some wrapping to do…but you know…" She smiled at him as she walked to the door. "Christmas isn't here yet…there's still time to change things."

Elliot smiled at her. "You just won't give up will you?"

Maureen shook her head. "Never."

Maureen smiled one last time and walked out of the room, Elliot laughed and fell back on his bed thinking about what she had said. Maybe it wasn't too late…

* * *

><p>After not an extremely restless night, Olivia decided to go to the precinct and try and catch a case to distract her. She had planned on spending Christmas with Elliot and his family but she of course had found a way to ruin that.<p>

The truth was that she was angry with Elliot because she felt that he had been playing with her emotions for years. There were moments where she thought he was about to tell her he loved her but then he never did. She was tired of waiting for him to make a move and so she had decided to move on…

And then his girls had put together this plan to get them together. That kiss…that kiss had been like no kiss she had ever had in her life. It was perfect. She couldn't deny the chemistry between them but she had made up her mind before going to his house that night. She wasn't going to let him in that way anymore…but the feel of his lips against hers confused her once again.

So she did the one thing that made sense to her…she ran as fast as she could. As she was yelling at him there was a part of her screaming for her to shut up. There was something in his eyes…something that made her think that he really was going to say I love you this time.

But she yelled. And he let her go just like he always did…

Sighing she walked over to her desk and plopped down in her seat. She was one of the only people there, she was especially glad that Elliot wasn't around. She turned on her computer just as Cragen walked over to her desk.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Cragen asked staring at her.

Olivia glared over at him. "Well Merry Christmas to you too Cap…"

He chuckled. "Sorry. I just thought you were talking a few days off. Weren't you going to spend Christmas with Elliot and his family?"

She cringed just hearing his name. "Yeah…well something came up."

Cragen sighed and sat down on the edge of her desk. "Oh boy…what did Elliot do?"

Olivia laughed. "Why do you automatically assume that it was something he did?"

Cragen raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh…so you did something?"

Olivia smirked and leaned back in her chair. "I guess it's something we both did…or didn't do." She laughed sadly. "Oh I don't know…we're both so stupid."

Cragen rolled his eyes. "Well I could have told you that…"

She glared at him. "Gee thanks for all your support…"

He laughed. "Sorry. I guess I've just been watching the two of you run circles around each other for years. There have been so many times I thought maybe just maybe…you'd see it. But you never do…"

Olivia looked down at her hands. "It's kind of sick isn't it? That I physically don't know how to let myself be happy?"

He shrugged. "You've been through a lot in your life…it's hard to change who you are. You just don't want to get hurt…I understand that."

Olivia licked her lips and looked up at him. "Being with Elliot and his kids these past few weeks…it's been so wonderful. I really felt like I was part of a family."

He smiled and leaned over to take her hand in his, he squeezed it gently. "They love you like you are a part of their family Olivia. You know that…"

"But if Elliot and I were together…wouldn't that change everything?" She asked skeptically.

Cragen shrugged. "I suppose it would."

She pouted. "That's the part I don't like…I'm not good with change."

Cragen laughed. "Gee…I hadn't noticed."

She smiled and looked over at his empty desk. "How did you know that Marge was the one?"

Cragen smiled as he looked out at the city landscape. "Well like you…it took me awhile to figure it all out."

She stared at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

Cragen looked down at the ground. "Marge was unlike anyone I ever met in my life. She was independent and strong willed…she didn't put up with any crap. I was used to just getting my way…the first time I asked her out she flat out said no."

Olivia smiled at him. "Ouch…"

Cragen laughed and looked over at her. "Yeah…it didn't' feel to good. And I have to say I was pretty shocked. I took me almost two years to get her to say yes to me. I was so frustrated yet determined to get her to agree to go out with me. And finally she did…"

"What made her finally say yes?" Olivia asked.

Cragen smiled. "Well…I think she was tired of me embarrassing her. I'd show up wherever she was and bring flowers…chocolates…anything I could think of."

"Oh so you were stalking her?" Olivia teased. "Doesn't that kind of go against everything we do here?"

Cragen glared at her. "Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?"

Olivia smiled. "Sorry. Continue…"

Cragen nodded slowly. "Alright. Well it was Christmas Eve…she went out to dinner with a few of her friends. I got her boss to tell me where they were all going and I showed up…I had already decided if she said no again I would give up completely. So I got to the restaurant…I thought she was going to be really angry. But I walked up to her…told her that the only person I wanted to spend Christmas with was her and that I wasn't sure why…but I felt like she was my soul mate and I didn't want to miss out on something that perfect."

Olivia swallowed hard. "And what did she say?"

Cragen laughed. "Well one of her friends started yelling at me and saying that I had to just give up because she didn't like me. But then Marge cut her off and looked at me…I mean really looked at me. It was almost like she was looking straight into my soul."

Olivia sighed. "That's how it feels when Elliot looks at me…"

Cragen smiled at her. "She said…that she had turned me down before because she didn't want to need anyone. She wanted to always take care of herself…but being alone on Christmas wasn't what she wanted either. And so she left with me that night…and we kissed at Rockefeller Center for the very first time. And from that moment on we were inseparable…"

Olivia stared at her boss for a moment. "You really loved her…"

Cragen sighed and looked down at the floor again. "Yes. I did…she was everything I wasn't. Soft spoken, warm hearted and compassionate. I was pushy and impatient…and she made me slow down and see the world as it is now as I thought it was. She didn't try and change me…but the way we loved each other changed who I was in a good way. She accepted me for who I was but she made me realize I could be better…"

She pulled her chair in closer to her desk and leaned her arms on it. "I don't want to change Elliot…"

Cragen nodded. "I know you don't. And he doesn't want to change you…but there are something's you both could change about yourselves. You need to start trusting people and letting yourself be happy and he needs to learn how to not be so damn stubborn and hot headed."

Olivia laughed. "And you think that if we were together we could change those things?"

Cragen laughed. "I think it would be really hard at first…but eventually you'd figure it all out and be really happy together."

Olivia looked over at his empty desk again. "I bought gifts for him and the kids…"

Cragen smiled at her. "Well that was nice of you."

She looked back over at him. "Elliot is such an amazing father…he tries so hard for them. But it feels like no matter how hard he works he can never get everything together. I just want him to be happy…I want him to have a good Christmas."

"Well if that's what you want…then why are you still here?" Cragen asked cocking his head to the side curiously.

She stared at him for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"Sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make sure Elliot has a good Christmas." He said smiling at her.

"So what is it that you suggest I do?" Olivia asked raising her eyebrows at him.

Cragen glared at her. "I suggest you get off your ass, bring those presents to Elliot's house and tell him exactly how you feel."

She grimaced. "But…what if he says no?"

He rolled his eyes. "Olivia…why do you always do that? Why do you always go to the what ifs? You're going to drive yourself crazy!"

She chuckled. "I already do…"

"And are you happy?" Cragen asked leaning into her.

She shook her head. "Of course not…"

He put his hands up and shrugged. "Well…then why are you still here?"

Olivia let his words sink in for a moment before she finally stood up and smiled. "Okay…I'm really going to do this."

Cragen nodded. "It's about damn time."

Olivia smiled and stared to walk away before turning back to give him a hug. "Merry Christmas Captain."

Cragen hugged her back. "Merry Christmas Olivia…"

She picked up her bag and walked out of the precinct, finally ready to admit her feelings.

* * *

><p>Elliot was in town standing outside a toy store. In the window was the dollhouse that Lizzie wanted, the new red bike that Dickie wanted and the soccer net Kathleen had been asking for, for months.<p>

Sighing, he put his hand in his pocket and took out the thirty two dollars he had left over after paying the bills. He knew for a fact…this wasn't going to cut it. He was about to give up and walk away when he heard someone call his name.

"Elliot?" The voice said.

Elliot turned and felt his heart drop to his stomach when he saw who was standing in front of him. "Dylan?"

Dylan smiled weakly at him. "Uh…hi."

Elliot took a step towards him. "Hey…"

Dylan looked at the window of the toy store and smiled. "Last minute shopping for the kids?"

Elliot nodded slowly. "Yeah…seems I'm a bit behind this year."

Dylan nodded slowly. "Well if you are planning on getting the bike…don't. Olivia already bought it for Dickie. And I'm pretty sure she got the dollhouse too."

Elliot stared at him feeling very confused. "I'm sorry?"

"On our date the other night…she went on and on about all gifts she bought for your kids. She said she wanted them to have the best Christmas ever…" Dylan said shrugging.

"She did?" Elliot asked looking back at the window. "I told her not to get them anything…"

Dylan stared at Elliot for a moment, he couldn't pretend that he wasn't jealous that he had a chance with Olivia. But he couldn't deny the fact that they belonged together. He could have been a jerk but instead he decided to give Elliot some advice.

"Yeah well…Olivia never really liked to follow the rules." He said chuckling.

Elliot turned back to Dylan. "I uh…I'm sorry…but why are you telling me all this?"

Dylan shrugged. "Because…I want Olivia to be happy."

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "She said…you broke things off with her."

Dylan nodded slowly. "I could tell she had feelings for someone else…" He said with a smirk.

Elliot grimaced. "You could?"

Dylan laughed. "Uh yeah…if you don't know that she's in love with you than you're kind of an idiot."

Elliot smiled. "I'm sorry I was so rude to you…"

Dylan shrugged. "You were just trying to stake out your territory. I probably would have done the same thing if I was in your position."

Elliot looked back at the window. "Man I really screwed this up…"

Dylan smiled. "Maybe not…"

Elliot looked over at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Haven't you ever heard about the magic of Christmas?" Dylan asked smiling.

Elliot nodded. "Sure…"

Dylan lifted his arm and looked at his watch. "Well…its three now. You still have time to save Christmas and your relationship."

Elliot looked at the toy store and back at Dylan. "You think she'll listen to me?"

Dylan shrugged. "You won't know until you try…"

Elliot smiled and nodded before turning to walk towards his car, he stopped and turned back to him. "Merry Christmas Dylan…"

Dylan nodded. "Merry Christmas Elliot."

Elliot turned and walked back to the car determined to finally get his Christmas wish this year.

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><p>Olivia pulled up in front of Elliot's house around 4 o'clock and took a deep breath. She could see the kids putting gifts under the tree and she couldn't help but smile at them. She gave herself a little pep talk and then got out of the car and walked up to the front door.<p>

She lifted her hand and knocked gently as her heart beat rapidly in her chest. The door opened and Maureen smiled, looking very surprised when she saw Olivia.

"Olivia! What are you doing here?" Maureen asked excitedly.

Olivia smiled at Elliot's daughter. "Well you guys invited me to spend Christmas with you and so here I am…"

Maureen leaned forward and hugged Olivia. "I'm so glad you're here!"

Olivia smiled and held her back. "Me too kid."

Maureen pulled her into the house and smiled. "Look whose here guys!"

Lizzie ran over to Olivia and jumped into her arms. "Olivia!"

Olivia hugged her tightly. "Hey sweetie. Are you getting excited for Santa to come and bring you toys for being such a good girl this year?"

Lizzie nodded quickly. "Yes! Are you going to stay?"

Olivia smiled at her. "Well…I need to talk to your Dad about a few things and then we'll see."

"Oh he's not here…" Kathleen said softly looking at Maureen curiously.

Olivia frowned slightly as she put Lizzie down on the ground. "Oh…he's not?"

Maureen shook her head. "No. He said he had a few last minute errands to run…"

Olivia ran a hand through her hair sadly. "Oh. Well…do you know when he'll be home?"

Dickie shook his head. "He didn't say. But it should be soon…we're supposed to eat dinner at six."

Olivia licked her lips and shrugged. "Well…do you guys mind if I hang out for a bit here until he comes home?"

Maureen looked at her sister and a huge smile grew on her face. "Definitley not."

Olivia smiled and let the kids pull her into the kitchen where Bernie was cooking dinner. She didn't know what was going to happen when Elliot got home but being with his kids was making her feel a lot less nervous…

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><p>Elliot had gone to Olivia's apartment and banged on her door for almost thirty minutes. He called her house and cell phone but she wasn't answering. Finally getting annoyed from all the banging, one of her neighbors came out into the hallway.<p>

"She's not home!" Mrs. Flaherty said.

Elliot sighed. "Well do you know where she is?"

Mrs. Flaherty laughed. "Where do you think she is? At work of course! She went in earlier this afternoon."

Elliot smiled and started to run down the hallway. "Thank you Mrs. Flaherty! Merry Christmas!"

She shook her head laughing as she watched him walk away. "Merry Christmas Elliot!"

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><p>Back at Elliot's house, Olivia was mashing potatoes with Bernie as the kids watched a Christmas special on TV. Olivia was adding some salt to the pot when she noticed Bernie smiling at her.<p>

"What?" She asked smiling back.

Bernie just smiled more. "I knew you'd come back…"

Olivia laughed. "Oh really?"

"You and my son are meant to be together. I can see it…" Bernie said shrugging.

Olivia stopped what she was doing and looked at her for a moment. "Do you think he can forgive me for being so mean?"

Bernie shook her head. "You were just trying to protect yourself Olivia. He knows that…"

She huffed sadly. "I just…I guess I don't believe that I deserve to be happy. And I never really expected to be with someone like Elliot."

Bernie laughed. "Well you do deserve to be Elliot. And what do you mean someone like Elliot?"

Olivia smiled. "I just mean…he's everything I'm not. He's religious, he's a family man and so strong. He may be stubborn but he really isn't afraid like me…he doesn't take crap from everyone and stands up for everything he believes in. I always thought if I was with someone…they'd be more reserved like me. They wouldn't be religious or so…so…amazing."

Bernie walked closer to Olivia and put a hand on her arm. "You don't give yourself enough credit Olivia."

Olivia shook her head. "That's not true. I mean look at me…I'm almost in my mid thirties and I have never been in a real relationship. I've been too afraid to let anyone in and because of that I've been alone for so long…"

"There's always time to change things." Bernie said shrugging. "So…why not start now?"

"I really love him…I love your whole family Bernie. And if…if Elliot and I can figure this thing out I'm going to be one lucky girl." She said honestly.

"Well I think we will be the lucky ones to have you as part of our family…" Bernie said winking at her.

Olivia watched her walk away and continue to cook. She couldn't help but smile and wonder if this could be her life from now on…

* * *

><p>At the precinct, Elliot ran over to his desk and looked around for Olivia. Cragen saw him through the door to his office and chuckled to himself as he stood up and walked over to him.<p>

"Looking for someone?" He asked putting his hands in his pockets.

Elliot was out of breath. "Where is she?"

"Well she was here…but then she realized there was somewhere else she'd rather be." Cragen said shrugging.

Elliot swallowed nervously. "She went to Dylan's?"

Cragen rolled his eyes. "Oh are you really that naive?"

Elliot shook his head. "I don't understand…"

"She's at your house!" Cragen exclaimed. "I mean really Elliot…did you honestly think she actually wanted to be with Dylan? She just wanted you to tell her how you feel…she wanted to know you loved her."

"She's at my house?" Elliot asked feeling his heart start to pound in his chest.

Cragen nodded. "Yes Elliot. She finally realized what she wanted…and that she wasn't willing to give up on something that was so right."

Elliot's smile widened. "You're sure?"

Cragen sighed. "If you two don't get together tonight…then I don't think you ever will."

Elliot stared at him nervously. "What do you me-"

"What I'm saying is you both know how you feel now. You both know what you want…so now you just have to say it out loud to each other." Cragen said shrugging.

Elliot smiled. "You're right…"

Cragen nodded. "Of course I am." Elliot stood there for a moment as if he was unable to comprehend what was actually happening, Cragen sighed. "Why are you still here?"

Elliot snapped out of his daze and nodded. "Right. Right. Merry Christmas Captain!" He said turning on his heel and running back out of the precinct.

Cragen chuckled and watched him run away. "Merry Christmas Elliot! Don't you dare screw this up!"

* * *

><p>Back at the house, Olivia was setting the table with Maureen. Her eyes kept wandering to the clock on the wall. It was 5:45…and Elliot still wasn't home. She knew he wouldn't bail on the kids but she was beginning to worry about him.<p>

What if he was so upset about not being able to afford gifts for the kdis he was too afraid to come home? Or was he so angry about the night before that he couldn't handle Christmas. She felt guilty and was about to go out and look for him when she heard the front door open.

"Dad!" Dickie yelled as the sound of his feet ran across the floor to hug his Dad.

Olivia's heart dropped to her stomach and she turned to look at Maureen who just nodded at her. She could hear Elliot talking to Dickie as he walked through the living room and towards the dining room.

Maureen walked over to Olivia and reached for her hand. "You okay?"

Olivia turned to look at her and smiled. "I think so…"

Maureen smiled and squeezed her hand. "If you can handle all those perps…you can face my Dad. No problem."

Olivia laughed. "You're right."

Elliot walked all the way into the living room with Dickie in his arms; he smiled when he saw Olivia. "Hey…"

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Hi Elliot…"

Dickie looked at Olivia curiously. "Are you going to cry again?"

Elliot looked sternly at his son. "Buddy…"

"It's okay…" Olivia said laughing. "No…no Dickie I'm not going to cry again. At least…I hope not."

Elliot turned to look at her and smiled, she looked absolutely beautiful as always. "I hope not either…" He put Dickie down on the floor and looked back up at her. "Uh…can we talk for a minute?"

Olivia nodded. "I think that's a good idea…"

Elliot started to walk towards the back door; Olivia took his cue and grabbed her coat from the closet. She walked back through the dining room and followed him outside.

She wrapped her coat around her tightly. Elliot looked past her and glared at his kids whom were all peeking through the window at them. He tried not to laugh as Bernie quickly ushered them towards the living room to give them their privacy.

He turned back to her and smiled. "You're one hard woman to track down…"

She put her hands in her pockets and frowned at him. "What?"

He laughed. "I've been running all over the city looking for you."

Olivia licked her lips. "Really?"

Elliot nodded slowly and stepped closer to her. "Yeah…I have."

She felt her heart pace quicken as he got closer to her. "Why?"

He stared deep into her eyes. "Because…we need to talk."

Olivia looked down at the ground and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. I guess we do."

He gave her a moment to compose herself before she lifted her head again to stare at him. They opened their mouths at the same time and spoke.

"Olivia-" He said.

"Elliot I-" She started.

He laughed. "Please…let me go first. If I don't say this now…I'll lose my nerve."

She nodded slowly. "Okay…go ahead."

Elliot smiled and walked over to the swing by back door and sat down. "Come here…"

Olivia walked over to him slowly. She was hoping this would be the part where he admitted that he had feelings for her…but she couldn't help but feel afraid again. She just had to keep herself from running again and maybe just maybe…they could find a way to finally make this work!

**_TBC_**

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><p><strong> Once again you probably hate me for leaving it at a cliffehanger. But...I gotta keep you interested! I'll try and update again tomorrow but if not there will definitely be a new chapter up by Saturday! :) <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

_****_**I know I left you guys with a big cliffhanger but I'm back with the new chapter! And because you guys are so amazing...I have a little something extra for you. This was originally supposed to be the last chapter but I decided to do one more after this as a little Christmas bonus and as a way to say thank you for being so supportive with this story! I hope you enjoy :) **

* * *

><p><em>Back at the house, Olivia was setting the table with Maureen. Her eyes kept wandering to the clock on the wall. It was 5:45…and Elliot still wasn't home. She knew he wouldn't bail on the kids but she was beginning to worry about him.<em>

_What if he was so upset about not being able to afford gifts for the kdis he was too afraid to come home? Or was he so angry about the night before that he couldn't handle Christmas. She felt guilty and was about to go out and look for him when she heard the front door open._

_"Dad!" Dickie yelled as the sound of his feet ran across the floor to hug his Dad._

_Olivia's heart dropped to her stomach and she turned to look at Maureen who just nodded at her. She could hear Elliot talking to Dickie as he walked through the living room and towards the dining room._

_Maureen walked over to Olivia and reached for her hand. "You okay?"_

_Olivia turned to look at her and smiled. "I think so…"_

_Maureen smiled and squeezed her hand. "If you can handle all those perps…you can face my Dad. No problem."_

_Olivia laughed. "You're right."_

_Elliot walked all the way into the living room with Dickie in his arms; he smiled when he saw Olivia. "Hey…"_

_She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Hi Elliot…"_

_Dickie looked at Olivia curiously. "Are you going to cry again?"_

_Elliot looked sternly at his son. "Buddy…"_

_"It's okay…" Olivia said laughing. "No…no Dickie I'm not going to cry again. At least…I hope not."_

_Elliot turned to look at her and smiled, she looked absolutely beautiful as always. "I hope not either…" He put Dickie down on the floor and looked back up at her. "Uh…can we talk for a minute?"_

_Olivia nodded. "I think that's a good idea…"_

_Elliot started to walk towards the back door; Olivia took his cue and grabbed her coat from the closet. She walked back through the dining room and followed him outside._

_She wrapped her coat around her tightly. Elliot looked past her and glared at his kids whom were all peeking through the window at them. He tried not to laugh as Bernie quickly ushered them towards the living room to give them their privacy._

_He turned back to her and smiled. "You're one hard woman to track down…"_

_She put her hands in her pockets and frowned at him. "What?"_

_He laughed. "I've been running all over the city looking for you."_

_Olivia licked her lips. "Really?"_

_Elliot nodded slowly and stepped closer to her. "Yeah…I have."_

_She felt her heart pace quicken as he got closer to her. "Why?"_

_He stared deep into her eyes. "Because…we need to talk."_

_Olivia looked down at the ground and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. I guess we do."_

_He gave her a moment to compose herself before she lifted her head again to stare at him. They opened their mouths at the same time and spoke._

_"Olivia-" He said._

_"Elliot I-" She started._

_He laughed. "Please…let me go first. If I don't say this now…I'll lose my nerve."_

_She nodded slowly. "Okay…go ahead."_

_Elliot smiled and walked over to the swing by back door and sat down. "Come here…"_

_Olivia walked over to him slowly. She was hoping this would be the part where he admitted that he had feelings for her…but she couldn't help but feel afraid again. She just had to keep herself from running again and maybe just maybe…they could find a way to finally make this work!_

She looked up at him nervously, she could tell this was hard for him so she waited patiently. He smiled at her and turned away laughing softly, it made her think he had changed his mind.

"Elliot?" She asked softly.

He sighed and looked over at her. "I just don't want to screw this up again."

She nodded slowly and smiled back encouragingly. "Me either…"

"First of all…" He said turning his body towards her. "I just want to say I'm sorry about how I handled the situation last night…I could tell what the girls were doing and I should have done something about it. I just…I wanted to kiss you so I let my emotions decide for me."

She nodded her head. "I could have said no Elliot…we both didn't want to disappoint them. And…" He she smirked. "I wanted to kiss you too…I just didn't realize I would react that way."

He laughed. "Yeah…that's not really the way I hoped you would react to the first time we kissed."

She laughed and looked out at his yard. "I'm sorry about the things I said to you…I didn't…mean them. Not really."

Elliot shook his head. "I think you did…" She turned towards him quickly. "And I don't blame you…"

She bit her lip nervously. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…I'm so frustrated with you right now." She said laughing again.

He laughed back. "Well I'm frustrated with me too Liv. I've been handling this all completely wrong."

Olivia looked down at her hands. "So…where does that leave us?"

Elliot stared at her for a moment before smiling. "Olivia…I'm in love with you."

Her heart skipped a beat and she inhaled deeply. "Well good…because I'm in love with you too Elliot."

The smile on his face went from ear to ear and he couldn't help but laugh happily. "It feels really good to say that…and even better to hear you say it back."

She smiled back. "Yeah it does…"

He stood up and turned towards her. "I know…that this is kind of complicated. I have four kids…it's a lot of baggage to handle."

Olivia stood up and walked towards him. "Elliot you know I love your kids…and please…I have my own baggage. We all do."

"I just…I want you to know that this isn't a rebound thing. I want you to know that I'm over Kathy…that I really fell out of love with her a long time ago. Actually…it happened when I met you if I'm being honest." He said softly.

She smiled at him. "I would understand if you still had feelings for Kathy. She was your wife…and she's the mother of your children."

He shook his head. "I don't have feelings for her anymore Liv. I mean it…I just…" He stepped closer to her. "I want you…and only you."

She bit her lip gently. "So…we're both in agreement…we want to be together? As more than friends?"

Elliot nodded slowly and smiled. "Definitely. That's exactly what I want."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "I wish it were that simple…"

Elliot sighed nervously. "Are you gonna run again?"

She shrugged. "Not at this particular moment. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to want to run again in the future…"

He looked around the yard for a moment. "Liv…look I know that I'm hard to handle sometimes. But I have responsibilities as a father. This is my life…I don't have a lot to offer you except for my heart and my family who adores you. It's not going to be easy…and you and I will have our disagreements but I want this to work. So I'm here…I'm not going to hide my feelings from you anymore. This is what I want…I want us to be a family. So I guess…it's up to you now."

She was surprised at how honest he was being with her. She knew he wasn't lying…she knew that he was going to be here for her if they decided to be together. This was what she wanted. This was all that she had ever wanted…all she had to do was say yes.

She stared at him for a moment. "I don't know how to just rely on someone…to trust someone so whole heartedly. And yet when I'm with you…and when I'm around your kids I feel so comfortable and like I can trust you."

Elliot looked back over to her and smiled. "You can trust us. We want you with us Olivia…you're a part of this family."

She kicked at the ground. "I don't know why I can't just let my past go…"

He shook his head and walked closer to her. "I'm not asking you too…"

She sighed. "But I don't know how we can make it work if all I want to do is run…"

He frowned and reached out for her hand. "What is it that you are so afraid of?"

She laughed. "I'm afraid that we will finally get together and after a few months you are going to realize you've been putting me on a pedestal and I'm not as great as you think I am."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh please Olivia…like that will happen."

She pulled her hand away form him and nudged him gently. "I'm serious Elliot! I mean what if we get together and you realize…that I'm not what you want? I don't know if I could handle losing you Elliot…"

He stared at her for a moment knowing that she was serious even though he thought she was being ridiculous. "Olivia you and I have known each other for a really long time right?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. So?"

"So…" He said smirking at her. "I've pretty much seen every side to you there is…I know you at your best and at your worst. And…I love every part of you I know. I'm not going to change my mind. I want you…forever."

She sighed and walked away from him. "Okay but what if Kathy comes back?"

He stared at her in disbelief. "What?"

"What if she comes back and says she is sorry and wants to get back together?" She asked anxiously.

Elliot shook his head. "I'm never getting back together with her."

"Even if it meant putting your family back together? I mean, wouldn't they want their Mom back?" She asked.

Elliot sighed and walked closer to her. "No. Not even if it meant putting my family back together. Kathy made her choice; she has to live with it. If she wants to be a part of their life they can make the decision if they forgive her or not. But whatever Kathy does doesn't have to effect you and me…"

She squinted at him, she was thinking of another reason to not to do this even though she had already decided to give into her feelings. "What about work?"

"What about it?" He asked shrugging.

She sighed. "Well…we wouldn't be able to be partners anymore. Would one of us have to leave?"

Elliot thought about what she said for a moment. "I don't know."

She pointed at him. "See that's the problem…I don't like not knowing what's going to happen."

"That's because you're a control freak." Elliot said laughing.

She sighed. "Well I've always been in control of my life…and now you showed up and changed everything!"

He smiled at her. "That's generally the way love works…"

"Yeah well I don't like it…" She said turning away from him.

Elliot sighed and gave her a minute before he started to speak again. "I want to be with you. But I'm not going to try and force you into something you don't want…"

She turned back to him. "I do want it…"

He put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Well then what are we supposed to do? If you run again I'll follow you if I have to but…it would make it a whole lot easier if you stayed with me."

The emotion in his voice finally began to break her. "I don't want to run anymore…"

He smiled and walked over to her again. "So don't."

He reached out for her but she put her hand up. "I just need to say something first."

Elliot nodded slowly. "Okay…what is it?"

She took a deep breath. "I can't promise that I'm not going to freak out again. But…if you are in this like you say you are…I can promise to try my best to make this work. And…that I'll always be honest with you from now on about how I'm feeling."

Elliot smiled happily at her. "I promise to be honest too…"

She bit her lip and nervously stepped closer to him. "So…we're going to stop being stubborn and try and make this work?"

Elliot stepped into her and nodded his head. "I think so…"

She stared at him for a moment and put her hand on his waist. "There's no going back you know…if we do this everything changes."

He reached up and cupped her face in his hands. "I know…"

"And if we do screw this up…I don't think your kids will ever forgive us." She said as he pulled her even closer.

Elliot laughed. "Well then I guess we can't screw this up…"

She glared at him. "Elliot!"

He smiled and pulled her all the way in to press his lips against hers. She was tense at first and he thought she was going to push her away. But as he moved his lips against hers she relaxed and whimpered slightly finally giving into him. She wrapped both of her arms around his waist and pulled him flush against her body.

He smiled against her lips and pulled away just slightly. "I knew you wanted me…"

She rolled her eyes and pulled him in again. "Shut up Stabler…"

He laughed as their lips met again and their tongues met for the first time. He was so wrapped up in the kiss he didn't notice his kids watching happily in the window or the fact that it had begun to snow.

Olivia pulled back when she felt the cold flakes falling against her cheeks; she looked up at the sky and smiled. "It's snowing!"

Elliot watched happily as she laughed and pulled away from him. "The magic of Christmas…"

She stopped admiring the snow and turned back to him. "The magic of Christmas…"

He licked his lips and walked closer to her again. "I love you Olivia. I love you so much…"

She smirked and grabbed his hand. "Well good. Cuz I love you too Elliot…"

Elliot smiled and went to pull her back into him but the back door opened and the kids ran out into the yard excitedly. "It's snowing!" Dickie yelled as he and Lizzie spun around.

Elliot smiled and pulled Olivia against his side, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Looks like we're going to have a white Christmas after all."

Olivia rested her head on his shoulders. "Best Christmas ever."

Elliot chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "I couldn't agree more."

Kathleen joined Dickie and Lizzie dancing in the snow but Maureen stood by the back door with a huge smile on her face. "So…did my plan work?"

Elliot laughed and looked down at Olivia. "What do you think?"

Olivia smiled at his oldest daughter. "I think your plan definitely worked kid."

Maureen's smile grew even wider and she walked over to them and hugged them both. Elliot winked at Olivia as they held her daughter and Olivia finally knew that this was where she belonged.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, a very excited Dickie and Lizzie were dictating to their sister Kathleen what they wanted to write in their not to Santa.<p>

"Dear Santa." Dickie started as Lizzie placed the cookies the way she wanted them. "I hope your trip to our house went well. It's snowing which is really cool but I hope it didn't make it hard for you to see. But I bet since you have Rudolph it was no problem."

Olivia was sitting next to Elliot on the couch and she had her hand over her mouth smiling at how excited they were. She had never experienced a real Christmas Eve; she had never written a letter to Santa or left out cookies. She had never experienced the childhood innocence that Christmas represented. Elliot smiled at his kids and wrapped an arm around Olivia happily.

Lizzie cleared her throat. "Thank you for all the presents. We bet they are awesome and can't wait to open them tomorrow morning! We love you Santa!"

"And we promise to be even better next year!" Dickie said as he turned to his Dad. "Is that good Dad?"

Elliot nodded. "I think Santa is going to love that letter guys. It's perfect."

"Good." Lizzie said placing a few carrots on the plate. "Kathleen will you get some milk for him too?"

Kathleen nodded. "Sure."

Dickie walked over to the couch and climbed on to Elliot's lap. "Are you going to be here tomorrow morning Olivia?"

Olivia smiled. "Yes. I will be here Dickie."

He looked between his Dad and Olivia for a moment, he was clearly thinking about something. "So…are you guys together now?"

Elliot looked at Olivia who just smiled at him; he turned back to his son and nodded. "Yeah we are buddy. Is that okay with you?"

Dickie nodded and leaned over to hug Olivia. "Yeah. I'm okay with that."

Maureen smiled and walked over to Elliot carrying a book. "Are you going to read us 'Twas The night before Christmas this year Dad?"

"It's tradition isn't it?" Elliot asked taking the book from her. "Come on…everyone sit down."

Kathleen placed the cup of milk on the coffee table with the cookies and sat next to Olivia. Bernie sat down in her rocking chair and pulled Lizzie up onto her lap. Maureen sat on the arm of the couch and wrapped her arm around her Dad as he cracked open the book.

Elliot cleared his throat and started. "Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!"

Olivia smiled and held onto Dickie even tighter as Elliot continued to read the story. She looked over at Bernie who was just beaming at her and she couldn't help but think…she was the luckiest girl in the world.

* * *

><p>Once all the kids were put to bed, Elliot came back downstairs and saw Olivia standing in front of the tree. He sighed happily and walked over to her, he placed a hand on her lower back and smiled.<p>

"Took awhile…but they are finally all sound asleep." Elliot said happily.

She smiled at him and slipped her arm around his waist. "That's good…"

He still hadn't talked to her about the fact that she had bought the kids Christmas gifts. "I just wish I had something to put under the tree…there going to think that Santa isn't real anymore."

She looked at him. "Well…I may be able to help you out there."

He smirked at her. "Oh really?"

She stared at him for a moment. "You knew didn't you?"

Elliot laughed and stepped away from her so he could turn to face her. "I ran into Dylan this afternoon…he said you took care of that."

"You ran into Dylan?" She asked wrapping her sweater more tightly around her. "When? Where?"

Elliot put his hand sin his pockets. "I went shopping to see if I could find anything to get them…and he happened to be walking by. So he mentioned that you were talking about the gifts you bought them on your date…"

She bit her lip. "Huh…" She turned back to the tree. "Are you mad at me?"

Elliot shook his head. "No. Not mad. But I am incredibly grateful that I have you in my life…"

She looked over at him again. "I wanted them to have a good Christmas…I know you told me not too but I couldn't help it. And besides…now that we are together…" She said as her cheeks blushed. "I want to help you out…"

Elliot walked closer to her and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You know I want to marry you someday right?"

She swallowed hard. "Is that so?"

Elliot smiled at her and nodded happily. "Yes."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him closer. "I could be okay with that…"

He winked down at her and pulled her in for a kiss. "Good."

She smiled and pulled back. "So Santa…you want to help me put the presents under the tree?" She asked as she pulled him by the hand towards the front door.

Elliot walked with her. "Thank you Liv…"

She stopped and leaned in to kiss Elliot. "No. Thank you El. You are finally giving me what I always wanted."

He cocked his head to the side. "And what's that?"

"A family." She said leaning up to kiss him again before pulling him out the open door. "Come on…"

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later they were finished placing the gifts under the tree and Elliot pulled Olivia over to the couch and onto his lap. She laughed and wrapped her arm around his shoulders and leaned down to kiss him.<p>

"I could get used to this…" She said as ne nuzzled the side of her face.

He breathed her in and smiled against her cheek. "You better. Cuz I'm never letting you go again."

She sighed happily and caressed his face with her soft hands. "Last night…when I said you make me miserable…"

He shook his head. "It's okay…"

She stared at him for a moment. "No just let me say this…I didn't mean that at all. I was just upset…and scared. I regretted it the second I said it…"

He held her tighter. "I know Liv…I know you didn't mean it. It's alright."

She bit her lip and tried to smile. "The truth is…when you are not being a giant pain my ass…" He chuckled. "You make me so happy El…I love spending time with you. Especially outside of work."

He rubbed her back gently. "Well I like spending time with you too Liv…very much."

She traced his cheek with her finger. "So what happens now?"

He smiled at her. "Well…we wait patiently for our first fight and hope that we can get through it smoothly."

She laughed. "El…"

He chuckled and held her closer. "Now we just get used to being more than just friends and coworkers."

She nodded. "Should be interesting…"

Elliot looked her up and down and smirked. "I look forward to getting to know the parts of you I have not been exposed to yet."

She rolled her eyes. "You're a pig."

He laughed. "What? You can't get mad at me! Do you know how hard its been working with you all these years and not being able to touch you?"

She threw her head back and laughed. "I caught you staring a few thousand times…"

He glared at her. "Well I think you purposefully wore jeans that fit your ass perfectly and tops that I couldn't help but look down…"

She giggled some more and shrugged. "Guilty."

He laughed. "You're a very cruel woman…you know that?"

She smiled. "Oh come on! Tell me you didn't enjoy the view…"

Elliot smirked. "Oh I definitely enjoyed the view."

She caressed the back of his neck. "You could have made a move ya know…I mean once Kathy left anyway."

Elliot sighed. "I could have…and I should have."

She leaned closer into him. "But we're here now…"

He nodded and leaned closer to her. "We're here now…"

She took his face in her hands and leaned down to kiss him properly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and traced her bottom lip with his tongue. She moaned against his lips and he deepened the kiss thinking he would never get enough of her.

Olivia pulled away slowly and took a deep breath. "I think we should slow down…"

He stared at her for a moment, wanting to pull her in for another kiss but he cleared his throat and nodded. "Okay…"

She slipped off his lap and sat beside him. "It's not that I don't want too…I just want to do this right. I don't want to rush it…"

He watched her face and noticed that she seemed nervous. He knew what she was thinking…she was afraid that since she had stopped him he would be angry. And as much as he wanted to have sex with her he knew that for this to work they had to take it one step at a time. Today they had finally admitted their feelings to each other, and they had plenty of time to take their relationship to the next level.

So he smiled and put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side. "I agree."

She rested her head on his shoulder and put her hand on his stomach. "You do?"

He kissed the top of her head and reached over to the coffee table to get the clicker. "I do. We have plenty of time for that…and besides my favorite Christmas movie is on."

She smiled and snuggled into his side. "What movie is that?"

"It's a wonderful life." Elliot said happily.

She smiled and kissed his neck. "It definitely is…"

Elliot held her close and smiled thinking this was by far the greatest Christmas ever. He was with his kids and had presents under the tree for them. And here in his arms was the woman he loved, and this was where she was going to stay forever.

* * *

><p>The next morning, after having fallen asleep on the couch together Elliot's kids walked down the stairs anxiously wanting to open presents. Maureen just started laughing when she saw Elliot and Olivia snuggling together on the couch.<p>

Kathleen looked around at the tree. "Do you think you got what you wanted for Christmas?"

Maureen looked at her sister and smiled. "Yeah…I definitely got what I wanted. A complete family."

Dickie looked over at his oldest sister. "Can I wake them up now?"

Maureen nodded. "Go for it buddy."

Dickie walked over to the couch and leaned down so he was right beside his father's year before yelling. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Elliot and Olivia both jumped up in shock. "What?"

Maureen, Kathleen and Lizzie stood back and laughed as Bernie walked into the room wrapping her robe around her. "Merry Christmas."

Olivia rubbed her head since Elliot and her had bonked heads. "Merry Christmas…" She said laughing.

Elliot laughed and picked Dickie up before leaning over to kiss Olivia. "Merry Christmas."

Maureen shrugged. "Well…now that Dickie has officially scared the crap out of you… you are definitely part of the family Olivia."

Olivia smiled and pulled Dickie onto her lap. "Well then I got what I wanted for Christmas."

Elliot smiled at her feeling his heart swell in his chest. "Me too…"

Dickie looked between them and smiled. "Well can we see if we got what we wanted?"

Elliot chuckled and nodded. "Go ahead guys…"

All four kids ran towards the tree and started pulling out presents and handing them out to each other. Olivia yawned and looked over at Elliot who was smiling at her.

"How's your head?" He asked scooting closer to her.

She laughed. "I'll live…"

He smiled and pulled her in for a kiss. "Merry Christmas Liv…"

She smiled and cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently. "Merry Christmas El…"

Olivia pulled away and stood up to help the kids sort through presents. Elliot watched happily as the kids tore off the wrapping paper and their faces lit up to see all their new toys.

He was finally beginning to remember why he loved Christmas so much as a kid. There was something about the magic of it all…the snow, the lights, the love…it made everything better. In the last few years things had been difficult, he had even thought about giving up a few times.

But he couldn't, family was the most important thing to him. He realized now he had been sad before because there was something missing. That one thing was Olivia…but she was here now and everything was finally making sense again. He would never underestimate the magic of Christmas ever again… 

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it :) Look for the bonus chapter within the next few days! 3 Thanks again for all the support! <strong> 


	10. Chapter 10

**__As I said before, since you guys were so supportive about everything...I decided to write a bonus Chapter. I hoep you enjoy it and have a wonderful Christmas and New Year! After Christmas I'll begin updating "Us Against The World" again as well! Thanks again! **

* * *

><p><strong><em>One Year Later:<em>**

Olivia was sitting at her desk down at the precinct wrapping a present for Elliot with a huge smile on her face. It had been year since she and Elliot had gotten together and she had never been happier. It had taken awhile to get used to being more than just friends and for the both of them to be completely open to each other. But through all the ups and downs they had stood together and vowed to make it work.

Two months ago, Olivia had moved out of her apartment and into Elliot's home with the kids. At the precinct, Elliot and Olivia had been split up as partners and she had been placed with Fin and he was with Munch. On this night, Elliot was at home with the kids and she would be heading home soon. Then she would have four days off with him, it was Christmas Eve and she couldn't wait to get home.

Fin walked into the precinct and over to his partner carrying a pizza for them to split. "Christmas present for Elliot?"

Olivia smiled. "Yep."

Fin nodded slowly and sat down at his desk. "You gonna tell me what it is?"

Olivia laughed. "Nope. I can't because I know you won't be able to keep your mouth shut."

Fin pretended to look hurt. "What? I am so good at keeping secrets! I'm a detective after all."

Olivia nodded. "Yes. As a detective you can keep information confidential but with your friends personal lives you have a tendency of opening your big fat mouth."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine."

She laughed and stood up. "I finished all my paper work while you were out…so split the pizza with Captain."

Fin laughed. "You know ever since you have gotten together with Elliot I feel as though I'm not as important to you anymore."

She smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Love you partner."

He laughed and watched her put on her coat. "Love you too Liv. Merry Christmas."

She winked at him. "Merry Christmas!"

* * *

><p>Back at the house, Elliot was sitting in his bedroom that he shared with Olivia. He was staring at the box that contained Olivia's present; he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He was so excited about it yet extremely nervous that she wouldn't like it.<p>

He was interrupted by his thoughts when his oldest daughter knocked on his door and peeked her head in. "Dad?"

He smiled at her and slid the box under his pillow. "Come in."

Maureen smiled and walked into his room all the way. "Grandma says dinner will be ready soon. I called Liv and she's about five minutes away."

Elliot nodded and stood up. "Great."

Maureen stared at her Dad for a moment. "Are you still not going to tell me what you got Olivia for Christmas?"

Elliot chuckled and shook his head. "Nope. You will find out when she opens it."

Maureen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well what's the fun in that?"

Elliot cupped her face with his hand. "You are so impatient."

Maureen nodded. "Just like you."

Elliot laughed again and pulled his hand away. "Fair enough."

Maureen pouted. "Oh come on! Olivia won't tell me what your present is either!"

Elliot started to walk towards the bedroom door. "Probably because she knows you'll tell me."

"I resent that! I came up with a whole plan to get you two together last year and I didn't blow it. And quite frankly…I think you owe me don't you?" She asked hands on hips.

Elliot laughed and opened the door. "Yeah. I do. And I have a feeling that Olivia's present will be something you like too."

Maureen raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

Elliot sighed. "Yes. Now scoot. We should help your Grandma get everything ready."

Maureen pouted and walked through the bedroom door and down the hallway, her father following with a huge smirk on his face.

Downstairs, Kathleen was helping Dickie and Lizzie place presents under the tree and Bernie was starting to set the table. Elliot went to help her with Maureen just as the front door opened and Olivia walked in.

"Liv's home!" Lizzie yelled running over to Olivia.

Olivia smiled and scooped her up. "Hey sweetie." She said as she kissed her cheek.

"Liv do you think it's going to snow tonight?" Lizzie asked hopefully.

Olivia walked further into the house. "I don't know. It is pretty cold out there though…it could."

Lizzie jumped down from her arms and looked out the window. "I hope so! I want another white Christmas!"

Olivia smiled at her and went to place Elliot's present under the tree as he walked up to her and kissed her gently. "Hey."

He kissed her again quickly. "Hey. How was work?"

She nodded her head. "Good. I finished all my paperwork so Cragen has nothing to call me about for the next four days."

Elliot pulled her closer. "Perfect."

She laughed and leaned up to kiss her again. "Did you get the rest of the gifts for the kids?" She whispered.

Elliot nodded. "Yeah. I have to wrap a few things after they go to bed still but it shouldn't take that long."

Olivia smiled. "Good." She started to pull away and take off her coat.

Elliot looked at her for a moment. "Maureen says you won't tell her what you got me for a gift."

Olivia smirked. "No. I won't. I didn't tell anyone."

"No one?" Elliot asked raising an eyebrow. "Not even Fin or Alex?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nope."

Elliot laughed. "I'm surprised you could keep it a secret for that long."

Olivia laughed and walked past him. "You have no idea how hard its been."

"So that means it's a good gift then?" He asked walking behind her.

Olivia nodded and ruffled Dickie's hair as she passed him. "I think so. Yes."

He spun her around and pulled her up against him. "So why don't you just give it to me now?"

She raised her eyebrow. "Only if I get my present now."

Elliot shook his head. "Not a chance."

She shrugged and pulled away from him. "Then you'll just have to wait for yours."

Elliot sighed. "Damn…"

She laughed and walked into the kitchen to wash her hands. "You'll live Stabler. I promise."

Elliot chuckled and went to the cabinet to take out glasses. "You have been very good about hiding it…I've looked everywhere."

Olivia dried her hands and stared at him in disbelief. "What are you five?"

He shrugged. "I was curious. I figured since I was a detective I'd be able to find something but you're good."

She nodded. "Well you forget I'm a detective too. I know all your tricks so I know what I have to do to keep things away from you."

"So you haven't been keeping it here?" Eliot asked curiously.

"Oh my God. Stop asking so many questions! You're not going to find out until later." She said grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet. "And no…I haven't been keeping it here."

Elliot hissed. "Damn. I knew I should have checked at work…"

"It wasn't there either." She said walking away from him.

"What? Do you have some secret life of I am not aware of?" He asked following her with two more glasses.

"Yes. I have a secret layer under the mean streets of New York City." She said rolling her eyes. "Who do you think I am? Batman?"

"Well technically you'd be Batwoman…but I'm starting to question it." He said pointing at her before putting down the glasses.

She laughed. "Well I can tell you I'm not a superhero of any kind."

He shook his head. "That's debatable…"

She smirked. "Yeah well…let's just say your present comes from a place you would not have any affiliation with."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What does that mean?"

"It means you are not going to figure it out so stop asking!" She said laughing and walking past him. "You don't see me asking questions about what my present is…"

Elliot followed her. "Do you not care?"

She laughed. "Of course I care! And I'm very curious…but I'd rather be surprised." She said grabbing some silverware out of the drawer.

Elliot smiled excitedly. "I think you are going to be very surprised."

"As are you." She said picking out some knives.

"Oh come on…" Elliot said impatiently. "Please…lets just give each other our presents now!"

Olivia laughed and closed the drawer with her hip. "How about after dinner…you and I can exchange gifts? That way tomorrow can be all about the kids…"

Elliot smiled happily. "I like that idea. I like that idea a lot!"

Olivia smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "I figured you might…" She said before pulling away and walking away.

Elliot smiled and watched her walk away, he was excited to see what she had for him but he had to admit…what he really wanted was to give her the present he had for her. He helped his Mom and Olivia set the rest of the table and gathered the kids to wash their hands and get ready for dinner. Once they were all settled, Elliot smiled and cleared his throat.

Everyone bowed their heads and Elliot recited a prayer for Christmas dinner. "Dear Lord we thank you for the food we are about to receive. Thank you for another year, one that was filled with love and happiness. We ask that you watch over us and help us through another year. Thank you for your grace. Amen."

"Amen." Everyone said before they began to pass around the food.

Olivia had never been much of a religious person but since she had gotten together with Elliot she had begun to understand why it meant so much to him. She had been to church a few times with him and the kids and participated in their prayers at night but she was still taking it one day at a time. Elliot respected her space and didn't want to force religion on her; he knew it was something you had to want for yourself.

"So…are you guys excited for tomorrow?" Elliot asked as Olivia gave him the salad.

Dickie who had already stuffed his mouth with potatoes nodded excitedly. "I can't wait to see what toys I get this year!"

Elliot chuckled. "Well you'll have to go to bed early. Remember?"

"Dad you know this is the one day of the year that you don't have to fight Dickie on going to bed on time." Maureen said laughing as she took some peas and put them on her plate.

"That's true." Elliot said laughing and passing the rolls to Olivia.

"I really want it to snow…" Lizzie said staring out the window and ignoring the food on her plate.

Olivia smiled and leaned forward to rub the young girls back. "Maybe you'll get your wish honey. But for now you need to eat…you can't go to sleep with an empty stomach!"

Lizzie sighed and turned back to the plate. "But…"

"You know I made your favorite for desert." Bernie said smiling at her youngest grandchild. "Homemade vanilla ice cream and apple pie."

Lizzie's face lit up. "You did?"

Bernie nodded. "I did. But you have to eat your dinner first or not desert for you!"

Now that she had something to look forward to, she started to eat her dinner happily. Elliot smiled at his Mom as they continued to eat dinner and couldn't' help but think how lucky he was.

* * *

><p>Once dinner and desert had been eaten and the dishes had been cleaned…they all went to the living room and sat around the tree. Each of the kids got one gift each to tide them over until the next morning as Olivia and Elliot watched them happily.<p>

Olivia was leaning against Elliot's side as the kids played with their new gifts. Dickie was looking under the tree at all the gifts that were there. There was one box that had no name on it and Dickie's curiosity got the better of him. He picked it up looked behind him making sure no one was looking. They were all preoccupied so he opened the box hopefully and looked inside…

There was a black and white picture in the box, it was unlike any picture he had seen and he didn't really understand what it was. So he turned to his Dad and forgot about the fact that he had opened a gift without telling anyone.

"Dad what is this?" Dickie asked holding it out to his father.

Olivia's heart dropped to her stomach and she stood up quickly. "Oh Dickie that's not for you!"

Elliot stood up and walked over to Dickie smiling and took the box containing the picture. "What is it?"

"El I-" Olivia said nervously.

He took the box and peered down into the box at the photo, it took a minute for his mind to register what it was. But then it hit him; it was an ultrasound picture, which could only mean one thing. He turned slowly, his heart-beating fast in his chest as the news continued to sink in.

"Olivia…" He whispered. "Are you?"

She bit her lip nervously and walked closer to him. "I uh…I guess I forgot to put your name on it. But yeah…I'm pregnant Elliot. Merry Christmas…"

Maureen stood up and walked over to Olivia. "You're pregnant?"

Olivia turned to Elliot's oldest daughter. "Uh…yeah." She laughed nervously. "This wasn't exactly how I pictured telling you. And I know that…that we haven't really talked about this but-"

Elliot took two big steps towards her and pulled her into his arms, Olivia gasped as he held her tightly. She slowly wrapped her arms around him and felt a tear slide down the back of her neck.

She pushed him away slowly. "Elliot?"

He laughed and leaned down to kiss her before pulling back. "This is the best present you could have ever given me. I can't believe this…"

She smiled at him, her fear slowly beginning to float away. "So…you're not mad?"

Elliot shook his head. "Of course not. Olivia this is just…this is amazing. All I want is to be with you and continue to add to this family. No we didn't plan this but…I don't care. I couldn't possibly be happier." He kissed her again. "I love you so much."

Olivia relaxed and leaned up to kiss him again. "I love you too El."

"You mean I'm gonna be a big brother?" Dickie asked excitedly.

Olivia pulled back from Elliot slowly and smiled at him, she couldn't stay mad at him for opening the gift. He was too damn cute and this was the perfect moment.

"Yes Dickie…you are going to be a big brother." She said laughing and leaning down to kiss his head.

Dickie's face lit up and he let the news sink in for a moment before asking. "Can you make sure it's a boy? I don't 'know if I can handle having another sister…"

Everyone laughed and Olivia shrugged. "I can't guarantee that buddy…but I'll do my best."

Bernie walked over to Elliot and Olivia with tears in her eyes. "Ma…" Elliot whispered softly.

"Another grandbaby…" She held Olivia's face with her hands and kissed both cheeks. "What a wonderful Christmas present."

Olivia hugged her tightly. "So you're happy?"

Bernie pulled away and wiped her lipstick marks off of Olivia's cheeks. "I couldn't be happier!" She turned to her son. "You're gonna be a Dad again!" She said pulling him in for a hug.

Elliot laughed. "I know…this is unbelievable."

Olivia sighed again. "I know…I know it's kind of soon. I mean it has only been a year…and we didn't plan on this but I…" Her smile grew huge across her face. "I honestly don't think I've ever been this excited…this is all I've ever wanted."

Elliot leaned forward and wiped away a tear that began to escape her eyes. "So what if it wasn't planned? I love you Liv…I told you I was going to love you forever didn't I?"

Olivia nodded slowly. "Yeah…you did."

He smiled. "So you have nothing to be nervous about. In fact…" He laughed and started to walk away. "This is kind of perfect. I'll be right back…"

She watched him go as Kathleen wrapped an arm around her waist to hug her. "Where are you going?"

Elliot smiled. "Well since you gave me my present…its time for you to get your present too."

Olivia looked after him curiously but was pulled out of her daze when Lizzie pulled on her arm. "Liv?"

She looked down at the young girl and smiled. "Yes honey?"

"This is a picture of a baby?" Lizzie said looking down at the picture that Elliot had put down on the coffee table.

Olivia laughed and sat down on the couch as his kids huddled around her. "I know…it looks kind of funny doesn't it? Doesn't look much like a baby…"

"It doesn't look much like anything…" Lizzie said scrunching up her nose.

Bernie chuckled. "You know we have a picture of you and Dickie that looks just like that too."

Lizzie looked over at her Grandma. "You do?"

"Wait a second…" Dickie said pointing at the picture. "You're telling me I used to look like that?"

Everyone laughed again and Olivia nodded. "Well you know that the baby grows in the woman's stomach right?"

Lizzie nodded. "Yeah. We grew in Mommy's stomach…"

Olivia nodded. "That's right. And it takes awhile for a baby to be fully grown. This baby…is still very tiny. But in about seven months when it's time for me to have the baby…it will look like the babies you've seen before."

"So where is it?" Dickie asked squinting down at the picture.

Olivia smiled and pointed to the blob in the picture. "Well…that's it."

"That's our baby…" Lizzie said leaning in closer.

Olivia smiled, feeling tears well up in her eyes from happiness. "Yup. That's our baby…"

They all continued to stare at the picture for a little while longer as Elliot bounded down the stairs carrying a rather large box. Everyone turned when they heard him and looked surprised to see the big package.

"Elliot…" Olivia said as he put it on her lap. "What on earth is this?"

Elliot shrugged. "I guess you'll have to open it up to find out."

She stared up at him feeling nervous as she pulled off the top of the box. Dickie stood up on the couch and peered into the large box and looked up at his Dad with an angry face.

"Dad! There's nothing in there!" He yelled.

"Are you sure?" Elliot asked leaning into look at his son with a smirk.

Dickie looked back into the box and then back at his father. "Not a thing!"

Olivia looked at Elliot and opened her mouth to say something but Elliot smiled. "Oh that's right…I have it right here in my pocket." He said pulling out a small black velvet box and began to kneel down.

"Oh my God…" Olivia said putting a hand over her mouth in shock.

"What is he doing?" Lizzie asked leaning into Maureen.

"Shhhh!" Maureen and Kathleen said leaning closer to their father.

Elliot smiled and popped open the box to reveal a beautiful glowing square diamond with small diamonds on either side of it. "Olivia Benson…I know it's only been a year but I told you last Christmas I had every intention of marrying you someday. And quite honestly…I couldn't think of a better time to ask seeing as it's our anniversary and the most magical day of the year."

Olivia started laughing as a few tears falling down her cheeks. "Elliot…"

"I am so in love with you Liv. This has been the best year of my life…and now that we're having a baby I want to make this family official. Will you marry me?" He asked taking the ring out and holding it out to her.

Elliot, his kids and his mother were all staring at her intently waiting nervously for her answer. She couldn't take her eyes off of him as he held out the ring, it was like a dream. In fact it was exactly like all the dreams she had been having for years where he proposed except it was even better than she had imagined.

She wiped her tears away slowly and leaned closer to him. "Yes. Yes of course I'll marry you!"

Elliot's face lit up as they kissed and the kids cheered around them. He pulled back and slipped the ring on her finger as they danced around them. He pulled her up on her feet and lifted her up off her feet as she laughed in his ear. He placed her on the ground again and cupped her face in his hands.

"Liv…" He said leaning into kiss her. "A baby…and we're getting married."

She laughed and held him tightly. "I know! Is this really happening?"

He kissed both of her cheeks as more tears fell down. "Yeah. It is really happening Liv…I couldn't ask for anything more."

The kids continued to dance as she pulled away and held out her hand so she could look at the ring. "Elliot this ring…God it's absolutely beautiful!"

He smiled. "I'm glad you like it."

She leaned up and kissed him again and shook her head. "This time last year…I was so afraid that this wasn't going to work out. I was afraid I was going to lose you…"

He wrapped his hand in her hair and smiled. "Are you still scared?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. Not at all. I am so excited and happy and just…" She laughed and hugged him again. "So in love with you."

Elliot wrapped his arms around her back and kissed the top of her head. "I didn't think it was possible to top last years Christmas…but I think this one pretty much knocks it out of the park."

Olivia laughed as the pulled apart again. "I agree."

Maureen interrupted their moment and hugged her Dad tightly. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! "

Elliot chuckled and wrapped his arm around his daughter. "Why are you thanking me?"

"Because! This is exactly what I wanted for Christmas!" Maureen said smiling up at him and then over to Olivia. "I wanted us to be a real family again…and now we're going to be."

Olivia put her hand on Maureen's cheek and smiled down at her. "You know if it wasn't for you pushing us together last year…we wouldn't be here. So we should be the ones thanking you."

Elliot smiled at Olivia and then looked back at his daughter. "You know Olivia is right…if it wasn't for you and your sneaky little plan we would probably still be pretending we didn't have feelings for each other."

Maureen shrugged. "Nah…I think you would have figured it out eventually."

Olivia chuckled. "I think you give us too much credit. We're both pretty stubborn."

Maureen laughed. "Yeah…actually you're probably right. So…" She hugged Olivia and smiled. "You're welcome."

Olivia smiled and kissed the top of her head as Elliot smiled at them and the rest of the kids gathered around them to hug them too. For the rest of the night they danced to Christmas music, ate cookies and of course read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas before they wrote their letter to Santa. They made sure to put out the milk, cookies and carrots and finally ran upstairs to head to bed. Elliot and Olivia put them all to bed and went downstairs as Bernie was putting a few gifts under the tree.

She turned and smiled at them. "Well…I'm not sure how Christmas can get much better after tonight."

Elliot smiled and put an arm around Olivia. "I'm not sure either…"

Bernie sighed happily and nodded her head. "I am so incredibly happy for you two."

Olivia rested her head against Elliot's shoulder and smiled. "Thank you Bernie."

She smiled and kissed them both on the cheek before walking out of the living room. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Mom." Elliot said after her as she climbed the stairs to go to her bedroom.

When they were finally alone, Elliot smiled and pulled her over to the couch and onto his lap. Olivia giggled and wrapped her hands around his neck before leaning down to kiss him passionately.

"Well this seems familiar…" She teased remembering last years Christmas Eve.

Elliot laughed and rubbed her back gently. "It does…"

She traced the side of his face with her finger. "So…you're really happy about the baby?"

Elliot nodded. "You have no idea how happy I am…" He said placing a hand on her stomach. "Are you happy?"

Her smile grew wide. "You know all I've ever wanted was to have a baby…and now it's happening. And it's happening with the man I love most in the world. I couldn't he happier…"

He smiled and kissed her gently rubbing her stomach. "You are going to be a fantastic mother. You already are to my kids…"

Olivia bit her lip and put her hand over his. "You think so? I'm afraid I won't be any good at it…"

He shook his head. "Impossible."

"When the Doctor told me…I just burst into tears. I couldn't…I couldn't believe it." She said laughing. "I mean…I'm on the pill…but I guess it doesn't always work."

Elliot chuckled. "Well to be fair…we haven't been able to keep our hands off of each other. It was bound to happen…"

Olivia laughed and looked down at her hand on her stomach, her ring glowing up at him. "And I'm not just going to a Mom…I'm going to be your wife too."

Elliot smiled and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes. You are…you're going to be my wife. And I'm going to be your husband…"

She looked back up at him and smiled. "So last year…we finally get our act together on Christmas. This year…you propose and I tell you I'm pregnant…" She sighed and said seriously. "How the hell are we going to top it next Christmas?"

Elliot laughed and pulled her back to him before leaning her back on the couch to lay over her. "I have no idea…but I can't wait to find out what we come up with."

She held his face as he hovered over he rand she gently kissed him before nuzzling his nose. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said leaning down to kiss her again.

She smiled and whispered. "You were right all along…"

He stared at her curiously. "About what?"

"All the years we worked together…you used to tell me that Christmas was the best day of the year. And I never believed you…I never understood what was so special about it. But now…now I get it." She smiled and leaned up to kiss him gently again. "You made me believe in the magic of Christmas El…Thank you."

Elliot smiled down at her and kissed her lips. "Yeah well…for awhile there I was beginning to lose the Christmas spirit. But you…you helped me find it again. You saved me Liv…you saved my family."

"Merry Christmas." She whispered to him as he leaned in closer.

"Merry Christmas…" Elliot said as his lips met hers and they began to celebrate the best Christmas ever.

There by the light of the Christmas tree they made love thinking about how lucky they were. It was hard to believe that it had only been a year since they officially got together. But the truth was…they had been together for much longer than that. It just took a very determined girl and the magic of Christmas to finally realize it.

And the best part was that from now on…they would always be together for better or worse. And every year…they would be able to celebrate the Magic of Christmas together…

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the last chapter and that you all have a Magical Christmas as well! :) <strong> 


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